Wednesday, October 31, 2012

5 Ways to Keep a Man's Attention

I just saw an article titled "5 Ways to Keep a Man's Attention: How to Keep Your Man Around for Good." I would expect to see that title from a woman's magazine in the 40s, but... really??? How about substituting "Spouse" for "Man" and making the article for everyone?

Besides: Everyone knows the top 5 ways to get a man's attention:

1. A shrill scream in the night.
2. Waiting till he drinks the milk out of the carton before you say "Ohmigosh! You didn't drink that, did you? I just heard on the news that they just found someone's finger in one of those cartons!"
3. Dog poop in front of the bathroom door.
4. Wearing a hat with long ostrich plumes to the beach.
5. Standing in a major parking lot singing "I'm a little teapot" while wielding knitting needles.

Friday, October 19, 2012


Your Word of the Day is "kerfuffle." Since this word sums up the current Presidential race, I assume you will use it liberally today. You're welcome.

Sunday, October 14, 2012


My parents got me a cuckoo clock when they went to Germany's Black Forest recently. It's awesome... except when I find myself saying something really stupid out loud and it's suddenly followed by a click, whir... and a "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"

At those times, I'm awfully glad I'm not on a reality show.