Be Careful on the Water in This Weather

For my fellow Floridians: Be careful being on the water in this weather. We were at EG Simmons park yesterday evening when the coroner's unit arrived to inspect the body that washed ashore, and they said it was someone out kayaking the afternoon before. The water was choppy, the kayak was capsized, and hypothermia sets in quickly... They hadn't made a decisive identification, so the news hasn't hit the papers yet.

Romance

HE: [romantically] What are you thinking?
ME: Oh... Did I clip my toenails too short? What's that in the garbage? And why does my finger smell funny?

 This is the reason I was never made to be a romance novelist.

Suggestive Facebook Profile Photos

Here's what I want to say so badly to the women who post suggestive pictures of themselves on Facebook:  "Yes. We know you're proud of your body. Women who are strippers are remarkably athletic - most of us could never hope to imitate a pretzel. You're so thin, a sandwich is all that stands between you and death's door. Are those lace panties in your picture part of your work uniform?"

 

I am repeatedly surprised by women who value themselves by their looks only. Then again, perhaps that's all they have to offer.