Here's what I wrote to Ebay when they announced their recent policy change favoring buyers over sellers:
From what I'm reading, although our fees are going to be reduced, we will be further restricted to how we are allowed to judge our customers, is that correct?
Over the course of years of business on Ebay (both buying and selling) I have only experienced 1 or 2 deceptive sellers. However, I have encountered numerous buyers who feel that this is a great way to take advantage of someone who desperately needs their money and good will.
I have found that there are many more buyers who see the seller as an easy mark.
Now the majority of buyers are decent people - don't get me wrong. But in the course of selling, I have had a man substitute worn out, damaged glasses for the new ones I'd sent him and I was forced to take both the other glasses AND refund him his money. He got an exchange for free - at my expense.
I've also had a man from Australia who ordered and received a watch AND got his money back when he claimed he hadn't received it - even when I had proof of sending it!
I've also had a man who decided his watch needed a new battery, and therefore he demanded half-off an already amazingly good price on a brand new watch!
There are many other examples of buyer fraud that I can give you - this is just the tip of the iceberg. And yet if we are only allowed to give POSITIVE feedback in the future, the buyers will NEVER be accountable for such actions!!! How are you going to protect us? Reduced fees will not be enough!
Ebay's representative, "Matt", wrote back:
Thank you for writing eBay in regard to the site changes.
the fees changes will take place on February 20th, the feedback changes won't take effect until May.
In regards to feedback, i have enclosed quite a lot of information, so i apologize the email is lengthy, but I have included some scenarios with buyers and how you can protect yourself.
The current feedback system will be changed to a new system in May. The reasoning behind these changes are:
1. Current system is not adequately achieving a primary intent because its transparency makes some members reluctant to hold others accountable. Buyers fear Retaliatory feedback!
2. Buyers who receive negative feedback are more likely to leave the site more then any other reason. (Including Item not received or item not described disputes). We want to Retain Buyers to the site.
3. We will continue to evolve eBay's public and Private feedback system as Community makeup and marketplace dynamics evolve.
4. 50% of Sellers have a 10% feedback, 80% of Sellers have a 99.3% and above. The old feedback system is not adequate to differentiate Sellers. Our primary objective with feedback is for Buyers to be able to accurately assess Sellers.
Plus, nothing good comes from unfairly criticizing a buyer publicly. And frankly, I can?t think of another successful ecommerce business or retailer where the customer isn?t always right (at least publicly).
If a buyer threatens negative Feedback to demand more than what was promised in the item description (for example, the person wants overnight delivery but only paid for standard delivery), the seller should immediately report the buyer to eBay. If there is clear evidence
of extortion, eBay will take action. Buyers who show a pattern of such behavior will be suspended. If a buyer is suspended, any negative or neutral Feedback they left for others will be automatically removed.
Sellers should only file these complaints when a buyer asks for more than what is promised in the listing. Filing a false claim is a violation of eBay policy and may result in seller suspension.
If your buyer has failed to pay for an item, you should file an Unpaid Item (UPI) claim. If the buyer fails to respond to the UPI report, then any negative or neutral Feedback they have left for the particular transaction will be removed. If the buyer shows a pattern of such behavior and is suspended for UPI, all negative or neutral Feedback they left will be removed.
Sellers should only file a UPI claim when a buyer did not pay. Filing false UPI claims is a violation of eBay policy and may result in seller suspension.
If you believe you have received negative Feedback because a buyer has purchased an incorrect item and you do not have a return policy, we recommend the following:
- Let the buyer know about your selling policies.
- Review your listings to make sure your items are well described and your terms are clear and concise. Important information mentioned in excessively long descriptions can sometimes be overlooked.
- Remember that you'll never be able to please everyone 100% of the time.
- Some selling policies such as no refunds, limits on how a buyer may pay, descriptions that hide details in the fine print, and so on may increase your likelihood of receiving negative or neutral Feedback from a buyer.
We believe that we will reduce any imbalance in the Feedback system with these changes. Buyers will be able to more accurately assess sellers, and sellers will be protected from buyers who violate our policies (through the Unpaid Item system and other reporting) without risking a
reduction in good buyer activity.
The change in the Feedback system is designed to improve the eBay marketplace which should benefit both buyers and sellers. Improving the Feedback system should increase buyers' confidence making them trust sellers more.
It is my pleasure to assist you. Thank you for choosing eBay.
Sincerely,
Matt I.
eBay Customer Support
So I responded:
Matt (please share this with your supervisor),
WHEN are you guys going to understand that you need the SELLERS too? It is the SELLERS who pay the fees, even if an item doesn't sell, and you're on the side of everybody BUT us. You glossed over the problems I mentioned by breezily saying that Ebay punishes bad buyers IF a pattern is established. Well what if I'm the beginning of that pattern? I just take the hit for the greater good? Or what if they are only crooked SOMEtimes and I get that one time?
And who decides what is considered a 'pattern'? The person sitting behind a desk at Ebay whose pocketbook isn't affected in the least?! How nice to sit there in comfortable glory, dishing out judgements that do not impact you whatsoever.
When a buyer has negative feedback, a seller can make an informed judgement as to whether or not they should do certain things! For instance, I recently had a woman who hadn't paid for 2 weeks after the auction ended. After countless emails to her, and a reminder from Ebay, I closed the sales and she got two strikes. THEN she wrote, telling me she still wanted the goods and would pay if I'd remove the strike.
Luckily I'd already spoken w/ another seller who'd left this buyer bad feedback, and I discovered that this is a common pattern, and that the buyer DID pay the other seller AFTER receiving a strike, received the merchandise, and then lied to PayPal and said she had never received it. Happily the other seller had the delivery confirmation, but do *I* need to go through such a hassle? Heck no! I refused to change the ruling and resold the items to others!
You say you want to retain buyers. At what cost? At throwing the sellers to the wolves? What about the buyers that ARE scam artists? You just threw them the biggest bone in the world! And at whose expense? Ours, of course, because YOU get your money no matter what. You get your money even when there's an incident or problem. And when a problem DOES come up, most of the time you're on the buyer's side because it's EASIER for you guys.
What - do you not think sellers aren't catching on to this? Again, when you don't have SELLERS, you don't have buyers either. Apparently you are choosing sides - how is this right?!
As for the customer being always right - I was a retail manager for Macy's. We tried to believe that trite old chestnut in the early 90s and found, to our detriment and extreme losses, that it wasn't so. That's when we revised corporate policy. We had numerous accounts of customer fraud which affected our bottom line so severely that we had to rework much of our policies. The customer ISN'T always right. Especially when it's in an anonymous forum like Ebay.
You say you'd need 'clear evidence of extortion' in cases of buyer fraud. That would mean you would need to SEE the items sold, SEE the emails exchanged, and neither will usually happen. Also, trying to get someone from Ebay to listen or return emails is a frustrating and slow process at best.
Watch and see - the downfall of your business will be when the sellers finally have enough and you'll get to retain your buyers, but there will be nothing to buy.
What are you guys going to do when the sellers finally find an alternative to Ebay where they're treated with equality and respect?
There will ALWAYS be buyers, there won't always be sellers.
I know for a FACT that there are many sellers who are actively looking for another route to sell online. There are numerous disgruntled comments throughout the web.
Your rating method was the only way to protect ourselves, nominally, from the crooked buyer. Why allow for positive feedback at all then? Why bother with feedback at all when there is no alternative but positive?
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
The Rosetta Stone
I recently was given an older copy of the Rosetta Stone (the last version before this current one). I decided it was time to refresh my highschool Spanish, which was never put to effective use. After all, living in Florida: Land of Immigrants Both Legal and Illegal, Spanish is a handy thing to know.
But I wonder how much it will help me grow to a bilingual status? Glowing reviews tout it as an incredible tool used by military and corporations alike, which supposedly fully emerses the user in the language.
My son had been rather disdainful about it. "Yeah, I used it for a while," he said, "but it's just a lot of pictures and it's pretty simplistic."
Still, I was determined to give it a try. And, in the day that I've used it, I've deducted that mujer (pronounced moo-hair) means woman and coche (pronounced coach-ay) means car. I can even say "El coche es blanco". But I'm hoping that simple words which mean run, jump, woman, man, boy, girl, car, and (oddly) elephant, will be useful in everyday conversation.
I worry that this may give me a toddler's vocabulary but will hardly make me proficient enough to be regarded as communicative. Do I really want to devote myself to this just so I can sound fresh out of kindergarten?
Has anyone else had any experience with this program?
But I wonder how much it will help me grow to a bilingual status? Glowing reviews tout it as an incredible tool used by military and corporations alike, which supposedly fully emerses the user in the language.
My son had been rather disdainful about it. "Yeah, I used it for a while," he said, "but it's just a lot of pictures and it's pretty simplistic."
Still, I was determined to give it a try. And, in the day that I've used it, I've deducted that mujer (pronounced moo-hair) means woman and coche (pronounced coach-ay) means car. I can even say "El coche es blanco". But I'm hoping that simple words which mean run, jump, woman, man, boy, girl, car, and (oddly) elephant, will be useful in everyday conversation.
I worry that this may give me a toddler's vocabulary but will hardly make me proficient enough to be regarded as communicative. Do I really want to devote myself to this just so I can sound fresh out of kindergarten?
Has anyone else had any experience with this program?
Monday, January 21, 2008
MLK Day
Last year I wrote about Martin Luther King in Heroes With Blemishes. But this year I'd like to tackle something else:
Why is it that schools and the post office are closed on Martin Luther King Day when they aren't on Washington and Lincoln's birthdays (as they once were)? Instead, we have combined their birthdays into one, calling it "Presidents Day". It's as if we've decided that these amazing men don't each deserve a holiday of their own.
If two great Presidents can be so disregarded, why are we making such a fuss over a man who was not even the leader of our nation? I'll grant you that he was 'a' leader, but hardly a leader as powerful as a U.S. President.
Before anyone cries 'racist' (as inevitably happens when a white person discusses a black issue) let me assure you that one of my very best friends is black. So please... table the label.
For the sake of argument, it could be said that although MLK was not as powerful as a President, he was certainly a major leader for black people in this country, and I would agree with that. But what about alternative icons such as Booker T. Washington who has no recorded instance of cheating on his wives (he was widowed twice) and also never plagiarized a single paragraph (unlike MLK)?
Is Booker T. Washington so far removed from our lowered standards that he seems like an almost fictional character?
What of George Washington Carver, who made contributions to not simply a small segment of society but to society as a whole, while serving as an upstanding role model? Is he also to be disregarded because he is simply 'old school' and our modern work ethic (or lack of it) cannot come close to his standards?
Sometimes it is easier to idolize people who are obviously flawed, in the subconscious belief that we are somewhat better in comparison. And when someone is only marginally better than we are, the goal seems more achievable. Yet shouldn't we hold up men and women who represent what we should be and not what we are? Shouldn't our heroes be men and women who have achieved accomplishments and lived honorably? I ask this of all the races.
Yet for many of us, our role models are Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Donald Trump, Tom Cruise, and the latest contestants in American Idol. Again, we like our heroes to be flawed so that we can feel that they are, in some way, equal to or even less than we are.
Top athletes don't do this. You never hear of the athlete who is successful because his role model was the person who received the bronze medal in the Olympics. No! We all aspire to win the gold!
So why do we focus on the bronze medal winners in the human race?
Why is it that schools and the post office are closed on Martin Luther King Day when they aren't on Washington and Lincoln's birthdays (as they once were)? Instead, we have combined their birthdays into one, calling it "Presidents Day". It's as if we've decided that these amazing men don't each deserve a holiday of their own.
If two great Presidents can be so disregarded, why are we making such a fuss over a man who was not even the leader of our nation? I'll grant you that he was 'a' leader, but hardly a leader as powerful as a U.S. President.
Before anyone cries 'racist' (as inevitably happens when a white person discusses a black issue) let me assure you that one of my very best friends is black. So please... table the label.
For the sake of argument, it could be said that although MLK was not as powerful as a President, he was certainly a major leader for black people in this country, and I would agree with that. But what about alternative icons such as Booker T. Washington who has no recorded instance of cheating on his wives (he was widowed twice) and also never plagiarized a single paragraph (unlike MLK)?
Is Booker T. Washington so far removed from our lowered standards that he seems like an almost fictional character?
What of George Washington Carver, who made contributions to not simply a small segment of society but to society as a whole, while serving as an upstanding role model? Is he also to be disregarded because he is simply 'old school' and our modern work ethic (or lack of it) cannot come close to his standards?
Sometimes it is easier to idolize people who are obviously flawed, in the subconscious belief that we are somewhat better in comparison. And when someone is only marginally better than we are, the goal seems more achievable. Yet shouldn't we hold up men and women who represent what we should be and not what we are? Shouldn't our heroes be men and women who have achieved accomplishments and lived honorably? I ask this of all the races.
Yet for many of us, our role models are Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Donald Trump, Tom Cruise, and the latest contestants in American Idol. Again, we like our heroes to be flawed so that we can feel that they are, in some way, equal to or even less than we are.
Top athletes don't do this. You never hear of the athlete who is successful because his role model was the person who received the bronze medal in the Olympics. No! We all aspire to win the gold!
So why do we focus on the bronze medal winners in the human race?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
If I were a true matchmaker, I'd have no clients. Word would get about quickly, and the only people who would come to me would be the people who wanted to know whom they should avoid at all costs.
Wednesday evening I made an introduction of an out-of-town wealthy, artistic jeweler to a creative, intelligent, and pretty friend of mine. Now that sounds like a winning combination on paper, doesn't it?! If I had a checklist, I would have written down all of his obvious traits and matched it to hers, and I would have found at least an 80% match!
However, this was truly the worst match I've ever made.
Since my friend looks like Lisa Kudrow, we'll call her "Lisa" here. He didn't actually look like anyone I've ever seen before. She likes older men, so he fit the bill. Although she's 44, he's in his 50s. He has cherubic cheeks, curly gray hair, a Tom Selleck mustache and smile, and a ready wit. However, his personality turned out to be so far from Tom Selleck that we'll call him Caligula instead.
We arranged to meet for a couple of drinks so that no one had to make any commitments and could escape at any time. Lisa hadn't been feeling well that day. "I can't come," she said frantically over the phone. "I've been under so much stress lately that my entire mouth has broken out into cold sores! I feel like crap!"
"Oh c'mon," I cajoled her. "It's only for a couple of drinks! You can leave right afterwards! And who knows - maybe a couple of drinks will cauterize everything! Remember, he's only in town for a couple of days and this could be The One!"
She fell for it: I could sell fire to Satan.
I then called Caligula. I cautioned him that she wasn't well. "Oh, what is it, a cold or something?" Caligula asked. Yup, it was something, I said. I added that she wouldn't be able to stay for long, but we could always meet up for dinner on Friday night if all worked out. He thought it was a great idea.
So that night my friend Rick and I arrived at the club to find he was already waiting for us, drink in hand. We had no way of knowing how much he'd already drunk, but he carried it well and we didn't suspect that he'd had more than one. He happily ordered a couple of drinks for us and we found a table to sit at while we visited and waited for Lisa to arrive.
Now let me add something here: I hate being drunk and I hate drunks, so my limit is always two drinks. A drunk person turns me off so much that I've been known to break dates when I see a guy get drunk, and then never call him back. My tolerance is exceedingly low. My idea of a good time is getting out, dancing, and not waking up with flu symptoms the next morning. I can't see why anyone would want otherwise.
We sat there and sipped on our drinks, leaning over to yell loudly in each other's ears in order to overcome the violently loud 70s and 80s dance music mix.
Lisa soon arrived, dressed casually and sauntering in with an unconsciously athletic gait. She looked pretty and was very friendly and chatty as she sat down. However, the loud music conspired against us and it was very difficult to interract.
Soon after she sat down, a man walked up to her, did a double-take, and gasped "Lisa?!"
"Ted?!" she said, startled. She turned to us and muttered something about how she knew someone she knew would spot her, and she excused herself to be polite and visit with Ted and his wife for a few moments before she returned to our table.
During that time, Caligula leaned over to us and announced that she met with his approval and he could certainly 'do her.' Questioning my hearing due to the loud music, I let it pass. Surely he didn't say anything that crude about my friend!
Lisa soon rejoined us, and we resumed chatting. Sometimes Caligula would get up and disappear for a couple of minutes and then rejoin us. Other than that, Lisa remained the focus of his attention.
As a little time went by, she grew glummer as her mouth grew more painful. Finally when nothing could be said to elicit a smile, I leaned over and said "Why don't you go on home, hon? Get some rest and we'll get together on Friday." Lisa nodded thankfully and Caligula jumped up with the offer that he'd walk her out to her car.
When Caligula got back, I said it was a shame that Lisa couldn't stay but we'd see her on Friday and we were looking forward to it. He nodded and said "Whatever! If it works, fine, if it doesn't, fine." Well that seemed open-minded and fair enough! Of course he said that as he was gaping at a tiny hispanic woman walking by.
"Careful! Don't snap your neck, Caligula!" joked Rick. Caligula grinned and then promptly went after her. He moved as quickly as a horse out of the starting gate.
Rick and I exchanged glances. "You know he has a drinking problem, right?" said Rick.
"WHAT?" I gasped, "No?! Why do you say that?"
"Have you noticed how he's periodically gotten up and disappeared?" asked Rick. I nodded yes. "Well, he's been going up to the bar and ordering an extra drink every chance he gets," said Rick.
"No, no - really?!" I said in shock (my back had been to the bar the entire time). Rick just nodded.
Soon Caligula was back, for a brief moment, before he spotted another good looking woman and went high-tailing it after her.
"Well, you've gotta admit he's got stamina," said Rick.
For Caligula, the third time was the charm. He found a blond lady who was very receptive to him, and he came staggering back to tell us that he was going home with her. I had enough at this point and said with false cheeriness "Well then, Caligula, have fun, be safe, talk to you later! We were just about to go. Ready, Rick?"
It was at this point that Caligula leaned in to me, and in a stage whisper he announced that he was great in bed and was fabulous at oral sex, and he wanted to show me just how fabulous he was. Well... that's a sanitized version of what he said.
"OK, then, gotta go!" I chirped, dragging Rick out of his chair. "See ya, Caligula!" I said, waving as we backed out the door.
As I turned to look at Rick, I saw that he had had one drink too many. He wasn't nearly as drunk as Caligula, but he wasn't sober, either. "Did I just hear him say...?" began Rick.
"Don't worry about it," I said hastily. "The guy is drunk and doesn't know what he's saying."
I stuffed Rick into the car and drove away. However, for the next couple of miles, Rick was angry and agitated. Finally he insisted on getting out of the car and walking back to the bar. I honestly told him he was a complete idiot and my honor hardly needed defending (I can defend it just fine, thank you) but off he went, and I went home.
At home I went through my usual routines. I let out the dogs, we curled up with a good book, and I read for a couple of hours. I wasn't worried - Rick can take care of himself, and he's really not the type to get into a brawl.
At 12:30 I got a call from the local Holiday Inn. It was Rick.
"Rick? What are you doing at the Holiday Inn?!" I asked.
"Can you pay for a cab?" Rick asked wearily. He'd left his wallet behind at his place. "No," I said, "I'll come get you instead. What the heck's happened?"
"Well, I went back to the club, saw that Caligula really was drunk, and he was about to leave." Apparently Caligula's one-night stand fizzled out and by then Rick had sobered up and got worried about the guy. So Rick continued "I told him I needed a ride home and I'd drive his car to his hotel if he'd just arrange to get me a cab. When we got to his hotel, he staggered in and headed for the elevator. I told him "Hey, Caligula, I still need you to pay for my cab ride home!" Caligula said "F-you, I've got no money," got on the elevator, and disappeared!" said Rick.
In my opinion, Rick got what he deserved and I told him so. However, I said I was on my way. I had nothing better to do, and the Victorian ghost stories I was reading were keeping me awake.
When I arrived at the hotel, the situation had worsened. Caligula had come back down on the elevator, saw Rick, and said in great, drunken surprise "What are you doing here?!"
"I'm still waiting for my cab, remember?" said Rick, irritatedly. "You were supposed to pay for it!"
At this point, Caligula erupted into great profanity and grew very aggressive, coming after Rick with his chest bowed out and fists clenched. Rick hollered to the desk clerk that he was a witness to the fact that Caligula was being the aggressor and if Rick had to flatten him right there, he wanted to make sure that everyone knew he hadn't thrown the first punch.
The hotel clerk cowered behind the desk, only shrieking out that if Caligula didn't leave immediately and return to his room, he was going to call the police. The clerk retold the story to me later, shuddering a little as he did so.
Caligula stumbled back to the elevator like a punch-drunk bear and disappeared just before I arrived.
The next day Caligula called me and left me a message. "I don't know what was wrong with Rick last night!" he whined. "He became so aggressive! I really think he needs anger management classes. Call me!"
Yeah, I'll call him. I'll call him when hell freezes over and I get Satan to buy fire from me. Yessir! We got fire! We got all kinds o' fire! We have red fire, orange fire, candle fire and wood fire. We even got a special on that fabulous blue fire - you know, the kind that accompanies all the undead...
Wednesday evening I made an introduction of an out-of-town wealthy, artistic jeweler to a creative, intelligent, and pretty friend of mine. Now that sounds like a winning combination on paper, doesn't it?! If I had a checklist, I would have written down all of his obvious traits and matched it to hers, and I would have found at least an 80% match!
However, this was truly the worst match I've ever made.Since my friend looks like Lisa Kudrow, we'll call her "Lisa" here. He didn't actually look like anyone I've ever seen before. She likes older men, so he fit the bill. Although she's 44, he's in his 50s. He has cherubic cheeks, curly gray hair, a Tom Selleck mustache and smile, and a ready wit. However, his personality turned out to be so far from Tom Selleck that we'll call him Caligula instead.
We arranged to meet for a couple of drinks so that no one had to make any commitments and could escape at any time. Lisa hadn't been feeling well that day. "I can't come," she said frantically over the phone. "I've been under so much stress lately that my entire mouth has broken out into cold sores! I feel like crap!"
"Oh c'mon," I cajoled her. "It's only for a couple of drinks! You can leave right afterwards! And who knows - maybe a couple of drinks will cauterize everything! Remember, he's only in town for a couple of days and this could be The One!"
She fell for it: I could sell fire to Satan.
I then called Caligula. I cautioned him that she wasn't well. "Oh, what is it, a cold or something?" Caligula asked. Yup, it was something, I said. I added that she wouldn't be able to stay for long, but we could always meet up for dinner on Friday night if all worked out. He thought it was a great idea.
So that night my friend Rick and I arrived at the club to find he was already waiting for us, drink in hand. We had no way of knowing how much he'd already drunk, but he carried it well and we didn't suspect that he'd had more than one. He happily ordered a couple of drinks for us and we found a table to sit at while we visited and waited for Lisa to arrive.
Now let me add something here: I hate being drunk and I hate drunks, so my limit is always two drinks. A drunk person turns me off so much that I've been known to break dates when I see a guy get drunk, and then never call him back. My tolerance is exceedingly low. My idea of a good time is getting out, dancing, and not waking up with flu symptoms the next morning. I can't see why anyone would want otherwise.
We sat there and sipped on our drinks, leaning over to yell loudly in each other's ears in order to overcome the violently loud 70s and 80s dance music mix.
Lisa soon arrived, dressed casually and sauntering in with an unconsciously athletic gait. She looked pretty and was very friendly and chatty as she sat down. However, the loud music conspired against us and it was very difficult to interract.
Soon after she sat down, a man walked up to her, did a double-take, and gasped "Lisa?!"
"Ted?!" she said, startled. She turned to us and muttered something about how she knew someone she knew would spot her, and she excused herself to be polite and visit with Ted and his wife for a few moments before she returned to our table.
During that time, Caligula leaned over to us and announced that she met with his approval and he could certainly 'do her.' Questioning my hearing due to the loud music, I let it pass. Surely he didn't say anything that crude about my friend!
Lisa soon rejoined us, and we resumed chatting. Sometimes Caligula would get up and disappear for a couple of minutes and then rejoin us. Other than that, Lisa remained the focus of his attention.
As a little time went by, she grew glummer as her mouth grew more painful. Finally when nothing could be said to elicit a smile, I leaned over and said "Why don't you go on home, hon? Get some rest and we'll get together on Friday." Lisa nodded thankfully and Caligula jumped up with the offer that he'd walk her out to her car.
When Caligula got back, I said it was a shame that Lisa couldn't stay but we'd see her on Friday and we were looking forward to it. He nodded and said "Whatever! If it works, fine, if it doesn't, fine." Well that seemed open-minded and fair enough! Of course he said that as he was gaping at a tiny hispanic woman walking by.
"Careful! Don't snap your neck, Caligula!" joked Rick. Caligula grinned and then promptly went after her. He moved as quickly as a horse out of the starting gate.
Rick and I exchanged glances. "You know he has a drinking problem, right?" said Rick.
"WHAT?" I gasped, "No?! Why do you say that?"
"Have you noticed how he's periodically gotten up and disappeared?" asked Rick. I nodded yes. "Well, he's been going up to the bar and ordering an extra drink every chance he gets," said Rick.
"No, no - really?!" I said in shock (my back had been to the bar the entire time). Rick just nodded.
Soon Caligula was back, for a brief moment, before he spotted another good looking woman and went high-tailing it after her.
"Well, you've gotta admit he's got stamina," said Rick.
For Caligula, the third time was the charm. He found a blond lady who was very receptive to him, and he came staggering back to tell us that he was going home with her. I had enough at this point and said with false cheeriness "Well then, Caligula, have fun, be safe, talk to you later! We were just about to go. Ready, Rick?"
It was at this point that Caligula leaned in to me, and in a stage whisper he announced that he was great in bed and was fabulous at oral sex, and he wanted to show me just how fabulous he was. Well... that's a sanitized version of what he said.
"OK, then, gotta go!" I chirped, dragging Rick out of his chair. "See ya, Caligula!" I said, waving as we backed out the door.
As I turned to look at Rick, I saw that he had had one drink too many. He wasn't nearly as drunk as Caligula, but he wasn't sober, either. "Did I just hear him say...?" began Rick.
"Don't worry about it," I said hastily. "The guy is drunk and doesn't know what he's saying."
I stuffed Rick into the car and drove away. However, for the next couple of miles, Rick was angry and agitated. Finally he insisted on getting out of the car and walking back to the bar. I honestly told him he was a complete idiot and my honor hardly needed defending (I can defend it just fine, thank you) but off he went, and I went home.
At home I went through my usual routines. I let out the dogs, we curled up with a good book, and I read for a couple of hours. I wasn't worried - Rick can take care of himself, and he's really not the type to get into a brawl.
At 12:30 I got a call from the local Holiday Inn. It was Rick.
"Rick? What are you doing at the Holiday Inn?!" I asked.
"Can you pay for a cab?" Rick asked wearily. He'd left his wallet behind at his place. "No," I said, "I'll come get you instead. What the heck's happened?"
"Well, I went back to the club, saw that Caligula really was drunk, and he was about to leave." Apparently Caligula's one-night stand fizzled out and by then Rick had sobered up and got worried about the guy. So Rick continued "I told him I needed a ride home and I'd drive his car to his hotel if he'd just arrange to get me a cab. When we got to his hotel, he staggered in and headed for the elevator. I told him "Hey, Caligula, I still need you to pay for my cab ride home!" Caligula said "F-you, I've got no money," got on the elevator, and disappeared!" said Rick.
In my opinion, Rick got what he deserved and I told him so. However, I said I was on my way. I had nothing better to do, and the Victorian ghost stories I was reading were keeping me awake.
When I arrived at the hotel, the situation had worsened. Caligula had come back down on the elevator, saw Rick, and said in great, drunken surprise "What are you doing here?!"
"I'm still waiting for my cab, remember?" said Rick, irritatedly. "You were supposed to pay for it!"
At this point, Caligula erupted into great profanity and grew very aggressive, coming after Rick with his chest bowed out and fists clenched. Rick hollered to the desk clerk that he was a witness to the fact that Caligula was being the aggressor and if Rick had to flatten him right there, he wanted to make sure that everyone knew he hadn't thrown the first punch.
The hotel clerk cowered behind the desk, only shrieking out that if Caligula didn't leave immediately and return to his room, he was going to call the police. The clerk retold the story to me later, shuddering a little as he did so.
Caligula stumbled back to the elevator like a punch-drunk bear and disappeared just before I arrived.
The next day Caligula called me and left me a message. "I don't know what was wrong with Rick last night!" he whined. "He became so aggressive! I really think he needs anger management classes. Call me!"
Yeah, I'll call him. I'll call him when hell freezes over and I get Satan to buy fire from me. Yessir! We got fire! We got all kinds o' fire! We have red fire, orange fire, candle fire and wood fire. We even got a special on that fabulous blue fire - you know, the kind that accompanies all the undead...
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Things Are Looking Up
Well, at the risk of jinxing things, I must say that things are looking up. I saw an ad online for a part-time sales rep, which would suit me perfectly. I contacted the owner and was called back within minutes. He wants to meet with me on Friday, so we'll see if we like each other. However, it's encouraging to know that the only job I bit at was the job that bit back.
Also, client sign-ups seem to be on the increase. However, this could be the last hurrah for the season, so I'm not counting my chickens until they're hatched (as my grandmother would've said). I also think I have my nemesis on the run, as a recent development has occurred which may show just how conniving he's been with my accounts.
While I was on a shopping trip for my Ebay business this weekend, I chanced across a brilliant jewelry artist who makes fantastic handmade, hand-hammered thick silver beads which are tubes of various sizes, embellished with 14K gold. He has a wonderful and engaging personality, and I immediately realized he could be a perfect match for a single friend that I have. I mentioned her, got them both on the phone, and he's coming in to town today to meet her. To make it less high-pressure, we'll do a group date and see how the evening progresses. I adore matchmaking, even though I am notoriously bad at it. Let's hope I'm lucky this time. If it's a disaster, you'll know about it on Friday.
Last night, auditions were announced for the game show "Jeopardy". I never watch TV, so I know vaguely that Jeopardy is all about trivia questions. My boyfriend begged me to go and so I dressed up like a dowager duchess and was dragged to the Hard Rock Cafe in Tampa, where traffic was at a total standstill. By the time we got in, the last people had been admitted for auditions that night. We gave up and went home. So much for an interesting story! Ah well - you win some, you lose some, and I'm sure that this is one loss on the way to a big win, so I'm not complaining.
Maybe next time I'll get a chance to be on Wheel of Fortune. Or... is that still on TV?
Also, client sign-ups seem to be on the increase. However, this could be the last hurrah for the season, so I'm not counting my chickens until they're hatched (as my grandmother would've said). I also think I have my nemesis on the run, as a recent development has occurred which may show just how conniving he's been with my accounts.
While I was on a shopping trip for my Ebay business this weekend, I chanced across a brilliant jewelry artist who makes fantastic handmade, hand-hammered thick silver beads which are tubes of various sizes, embellished with 14K gold. He has a wonderful and engaging personality, and I immediately realized he could be a perfect match for a single friend that I have. I mentioned her, got them both on the phone, and he's coming in to town today to meet her. To make it less high-pressure, we'll do a group date and see how the evening progresses. I adore matchmaking, even though I am notoriously bad at it. Let's hope I'm lucky this time. If it's a disaster, you'll know about it on Friday.
Last night, auditions were announced for the game show "Jeopardy". I never watch TV, so I know vaguely that Jeopardy is all about trivia questions. My boyfriend begged me to go and so I dressed up like a dowager duchess and was dragged to the Hard Rock Cafe in Tampa, where traffic was at a total standstill. By the time we got in, the last people had been admitted for auditions that night. We gave up and went home. So much for an interesting story! Ah well - you win some, you lose some, and I'm sure that this is one loss on the way to a big win, so I'm not complaining.
Maybe next time I'll get a chance to be on Wheel of Fortune. Or... is that still on TV?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Saur & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Quarter
There's a kid's book called "Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day." Mine has stretched into 3 months. Now that doesn't mean that the sky is falling. I'm not ruined or destitute. I'm not ready to sell everything and live like a hermit in a cave.
Yet.
But the economy is affecting my particular industry, and it's affecting it quite horribly. And losing my so-called 'friend' was very saddening. The friend I'm speaking of is the one that I mentioned here. To make it even worse, I will share something with you that I hadn't shared before: It's my old friend and assistant, Zen Buddhist. The fact that my friendship and help meant so little to her has been very, very disheartening.
My sales aren't horrible, but I went through a very dry period.
In addition to struggling sales, there has been a guy (in the company that I do business with) who is determined to undermine me as much as he possibly can. And that's a lot.
This guy has repeatedly done what he could to covertly take business away from me, and has openly told people who work for him that this is to be standard procedure.
Why doesn't he like me? Without getting into it too much, I'll simply say that I was very popular, highly efficient, and had placed over $50 million in sales with the company. He apparently views this as threatening and rather uppity for a woman. I can't help my gender or my efficiency.
I also can't help being well-liked. In fact, so many people (in that company) like me that he once joked that I was becoming a placement service for all his disenfranchised employees. It's true: I find good people good jobs once they leave.
But I can't find the right job for me. Yet.
Also I'm tired of being used and so many people have come to the well that it's almost dry now.
Should I have known better? Perhaps. But there are always the bright and shining moments, the loyal friends who remember, and golden times spent with people who are truly of value.
My current difficulty is finding time to get everything done. Right now I'm working double time to keep my head above water, and I'm getting so tired of treading. I'm beginning to think it's time to look into a part time job, which will supplement my income and get me out of the house again.
But what?
I thought of bartending (even though I rarely drink and am allergic to cigarette smoke) or doing something menial in retail. Frankly, I have degrees that I don't find to be of value. Companies see the degrees and experience and immediately think I'm overqualified.
Perhaps I am.
But if I'm overqualified, then what is my other option? What does someone with a vast portfolio do for work at the age of 41?
I don't know anymore.
But I know my life is crazy wonderful.
Yet.
But the economy is affecting my particular industry, and it's affecting it quite horribly. And losing my so-called 'friend' was very saddening. The friend I'm speaking of is the one that I mentioned here. To make it even worse, I will share something with you that I hadn't shared before: It's my old friend and assistant, Zen Buddhist. The fact that my friendship and help meant so little to her has been very, very disheartening.
My sales aren't horrible, but I went through a very dry period.
In addition to struggling sales, there has been a guy (in the company that I do business with) who is determined to undermine me as much as he possibly can. And that's a lot.
This guy has repeatedly done what he could to covertly take business away from me, and has openly told people who work for him that this is to be standard procedure.
Why doesn't he like me? Without getting into it too much, I'll simply say that I was very popular, highly efficient, and had placed over $50 million in sales with the company. He apparently views this as threatening and rather uppity for a woman. I can't help my gender or my efficiency.
I also can't help being well-liked. In fact, so many people (in that company) like me that he once joked that I was becoming a placement service for all his disenfranchised employees. It's true: I find good people good jobs once they leave.
But I can't find the right job for me. Yet.
Also I'm tired of being used and so many people have come to the well that it's almost dry now.
Should I have known better? Perhaps. But there are always the bright and shining moments, the loyal friends who remember, and golden times spent with people who are truly of value.
My current difficulty is finding time to get everything done. Right now I'm working double time to keep my head above water, and I'm getting so tired of treading. I'm beginning to think it's time to look into a part time job, which will supplement my income and get me out of the house again.
But what?
I thought of bartending (even though I rarely drink and am allergic to cigarette smoke) or doing something menial in retail. Frankly, I have degrees that I don't find to be of value. Companies see the degrees and experience and immediately think I'm overqualified.
Perhaps I am.
But if I'm overqualified, then what is my other option? What does someone with a vast portfolio do for work at the age of 41?
I don't know anymore.
But I know my life is crazy wonderful.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Slamming the Ebay Scammer
I thought I'd share an amusing piece of Ebay drama that I went through a couple of days ago with a deadbeat buyer we'll call Pinkie.
Pinkie had purchased two high-end items and then didn't pay. I sent her repeated invoices for 7 days and reported her to Eaby as a dead-beat bidder on the 8th day. 7 more days went by, with me invoicing her daily. On the 16th day, I reported her again, the sale was voided, and she was given two 'strikes' (which means it goes on her record and an accumulation of strikes can stop her from participation in Ebay).
That night, when Pinkie found out that she couldn't continue to ignore me forever, she thought she'd be clever and shoot me a PayPal payment for the items. She then wrote to me and told me that she had paid for them and still wanted them. I wrote back and politely told her that once a customer has chosen to not pay for an item and I've had to go to the trouble of waiting for two weeks and reporting her, constant invoicing, etc., I'd prefer to not do business with her.
What Pinkie didn't know is that I contacted another seller who had left her negative feedback for being a dead-beat buyer. Pinkie had pulled the same trick on her, and when the seller left truthful feedback, Pinkie left retributive feedback claiming that the seller simply hadn't seen her payment. So, I knew Pinkie was a liar and manipulative as well.
And so the fun began.
Pinkie wrote back to me:
If you have no intention of having the Unpaid Item Strike removed and of completing the transaction (which would be the PROFESSIONAL way of handling this matter, since you have several of these watches) then please refund my Paypal payment immediately. Otherwise I will have no choice but to file fraud reports with Paypal, Ebay, and law enforcement (by the way - my father is a sitting Judge and my brother is an attorney and senior partner in a law firm.) Your choice.
I replied:
Ah, that's what I like: A buyer with complete unprofessionalism, lack of conscience, lack of social graces, and the belief that everyone needs to kowtow to them. Please give your scary relatives a friendly hello from us, and wish them a Happy New Year. Unlike you, on New Year's Eve we have places to go and don't have time to babysit our business 24/7. I have a feeling His Honor might understand that. Oh, and congratulations to your most-impressive brother. Perhaps you might want to follow in his footsteps and make something of yourself as well. Don't think we'll make the same mistake that [other seller] made: We play only as nice as YOU do.
Pinkie then wrote:
No, I'm just a lowly department head in city administration with 2 university degrees, not an Ebay peddler. A formal complaint will be filed by fax on Wednesday morning, 2 January, to: Pinellas County Department of Consumer Protection 14250 49th ST. N. 2nd Floor, Clearwater, FL 33762. From there it will be processed for criminal prosecution for internet fraud, since you have obviously stolen funds with no intention of delivering the items. Full reports will be submitted to both Ebay and Paypal so that they will be aware of the criminal actions being taken against you. You have obvously made your choice, Ms PROFESSIONAL. Enjoy.
I replied:
Do threats and bullying normally work for you? I suppose there are many sheeples who fall for it. With so many relatives in law, I'd think you'd realise how well that looks with law-enforcement and what Ebay's rules are concerning bullying. Of course you've put it all in writing (thank you). As I said previously, when we get the chance, we will delve into the matter and if you paid us (in an obvious attempt to manipulate the situation) then we'll refund you the money. After we were forced to report you as a deadbeat bidder, the deal is no longer valid - as you know: We see this is a habit with you. Dropping names and addresses doesn't impress me in the least - I could certainly do the same, but I have more class than you (apparently). Perhaps you might consider Charm School or, at the very least, anger management. Surely you could excel at both, right? After all, you already have 2 degrees, so you're a quick learner.
Pinkie chewed this one over for about 15 minutes. Then she decided to let loose. At this point, her manic obsessive-compulsive side started to take over and she sent me THREE emails (one of them being a copy of her PayPal payment which I won't bother to share with you here):
Pinkie's First Response:
You're the one who's stated in writing that you have no intention of delivering items, although you've been paid. Check your email and you'll see. Also check your paypal account rather than harassing me. Best wishes to you - why didn't you simply have the Unpaid Item Strikes removed and complete the transaction, as I cordially requested that you do, rather than becoming so vicious and lying about receiving a Paypal payment? Does it give you a thrill?
Pinkie's Second Note:
No threats or bullying, [my real name here]. Simply a statement of what WILL happen.
Ahhh... So here she is using my REAL name in an attempt to show me that I'm vulnerable and she knows who I am and where I live. This type of neurotic individual is rather easy to read. So, I shot her my reply:
[Pinkie's Real Name], I am growing increasingly concerned about your mental health and well-being due to your peculiar allegations and obsessiveness. I strongly suggest you see a doctor and get a complete psychiatric work-up. Simply because you're educated doesn't mean that you can't be afflicted with mental illness and perhaps you should consider this to be a possibility. Either that, or you are poor at the game of lying and manipulations. Lying and accusing me of things that didn't happen won't make a difference to Ebay, PayPal, or any judge or jury in the land when they can see the email trail.
TO SUM IT UP: Our policy is clear - pay within three days of winning the item(s). 8 days after the auction closed, after repeated attempts to get you to pay or respond to the invoices (all documented), we reported you to Ebay. 8 days after THAT, again with repeated attempts to contact you, we finally were forced to ask Ebay to close both sales and issue us a credit. In order to issue us a credit, Ebay also gives a 'strike' to the buyer.
Tonight, when you finally discovered that ignoring your obligations wasn't working, you made the decision to pay us in the hopes that we would buy your excuses (which you've made to other sellers before).
We don't buy the excuses and we don't want business from buyers as unethical as YOU are. We didn't want your money after the sale was closed and we don't want it now. We didn't ask for it, this was YOUR decision, and we will kindly refund you anything you rashly decided to pay... WHEN we get the chance. We are busy with other things. Your repeated emails are actually delaying our chance to do anything ELSE, which will, in turn, delay your refund as well.
Pinkie didn't reply after that one. I thought she'd taken the hint. My plan was to fully refund her the following morning. However, in the belief that it's best to always know your enemies, I decided to do some research on her that night. I knew the little city in Arkansas which she lives in, and since she was kind enough to tell me about her family's pedigree, I knew to look for individuals with her same last name. I figured that with a neurotic personality like that, she couldn't be married, and it turned out that I was right!
By now I had brought the other seller into the fold and reported my findings to her:
Pinkie apparently works and lives in the little town of XXXXXX, Arkansas, population 52,000 (give or take). She suffers from, I venture to guess, big-fish-in-little-pond syndrome. She was the "Assistant to the Mayor of Community Development" there, but was (apparently) recently promoted to be Director of Community Development and works with HUD (low-income housing). She also has the dubious distinction of participation in [Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]. YES! I am not kidding. Here is the link:
[a link to the Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]
Since there are only 32 people who work in XXXXXX City Hall, I'm thinking she isn't half as important as she thinks she is. However, the [college name] is stationed there. They have 10,000 students there. Here at USF we have a student pop of 54,000. And, of course, we have many other colleges here as well. I'm beginning to get a picture of the size of this town.
Perhaps we can assume that XXXXXX is a suburb and give Pinkie the credit of being Queen of the Burbs. :D
Pinkie's father is (my best guess) Judge XXX XXXXX. Of course XXXXX might be her married name, but with her attitude, I somehow doubt it. So .... if Judge XXX is her dad, get a load of THIS article:
[a link to a story about his upholding the law that allows toddlers of the opposite sex to get married in Arkansas]
That would make her brother XXXX XXXXX:
[a link to the law firm her brother works for with a picture of his cherubic, smiling face]
Now, the other seller had been bullied into going along with Pinkie the last time. She had allowed Pinkie to complete the sale, and had sent her a solid gold gemstone ring. At this point, the seller discovered that Pinkie had just opened a PayPal complaint against her for non-receipt of goods. However, this seller had sent the ring with a delivery confirmation slip and when she looked it up on the USPS site, she found that Pinkie HAD received the ring.
This was getting better and better.
The next morning, I logged into PayPal to arrange the refund to Pinkie. I was almost disappointed, because she hadn't sent me any more spittle-flecked rabid commentary. But lo and behold, I discovered that she had reported me to PayPal! Here's what she wrote in her opening complaint:
Seller was paid, and after receiving payment has blatantly refused to deliver the items or refund payment. This matter will be referred to the Pinellas County Office of Consumer Affairs for criminal fraud prosecution should a full refund not be received immediately.
Now this was really to good to be true, because I knew something that Pinkie didn't know. I knew that I have the last word if I refund her the money, because at that point the case is closed and there are no new notes added to the file. So I wrote:
[Pinkie's Real Name], as you know, I have a series of your emails and everything is documented via Ebay. Lying to PayPal (an extension of Ebay) will get you nowhere and could result in a suspension of your account. You purchased two items and never paid for them despite repeated invoices from us. After 8 days, we reported you to Ebay. We continued to send daily invoices. After 8 more days, we closed the transaction, and you received two strikes against you via Ebay.
That night you realized you couldn't shirk your obligations without consequences, and you discovered the two strikes. In an attempt to manipulate the situation, you made the payment THEN, after the sale was null and void.
We told you we'd refund you when we had the opportunity. We also told you that this was unacceptable behavior on your part. You tried this same ploy on [other seller who is currently laughing hysterically over the whole scenario] and on at least one other seller (according to your feedback). How long do you think such unprofessional and scummy behavior will be tolerated?
I'll bet Judge XXX and brother XXXXX would be disappointed. Surely the board of commissioners for the tiny City of XXXXXX would be shocked, and if you behave this way all the time you undoubtedly won't be asked to continue to volunteer for the prestigious ...er, what is it called? Is this possibly correct: [Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]? Strange hobbies you have up there in XXXXXX, Arkansas.
Then I refunded her the monies with a final parting shot:
Here's the money back, which you sent after the sales were voided. Again, we would never welcome the monies from such an unethical buyer. Of course with all the crazed emails you sent to us, we will be happy to forward them to anyone who is interested.
During this time, I was urging the other seller to contact Ebay or PayPal (which are sister companies) with both of our stories so that Pinkie could be dealt with effectively. The other seller couldn't figure out how to get through so I finally called and spoke to a PayPal representative. He reviewed both files and refunded the other seller the money so that she wouldn't have to continue to be, as he put it, 'harassed' by Pinkie.
I have yet to hear from Pinkie, who serves on the very prestigious committee overseeing the famous celebration in her small town, which seems to advocate a sexual act on a reptile.
Pinkie had purchased two high-end items and then didn't pay. I sent her repeated invoices for 7 days and reported her to Eaby as a dead-beat bidder on the 8th day. 7 more days went by, with me invoicing her daily. On the 16th day, I reported her again, the sale was voided, and she was given two 'strikes' (which means it goes on her record and an accumulation of strikes can stop her from participation in Ebay).
That night, when Pinkie found out that she couldn't continue to ignore me forever, she thought she'd be clever and shoot me a PayPal payment for the items. She then wrote to me and told me that she had paid for them and still wanted them. I wrote back and politely told her that once a customer has chosen to not pay for an item and I've had to go to the trouble of waiting for two weeks and reporting her, constant invoicing, etc., I'd prefer to not do business with her.
What Pinkie didn't know is that I contacted another seller who had left her negative feedback for being a dead-beat buyer. Pinkie had pulled the same trick on her, and when the seller left truthful feedback, Pinkie left retributive feedback claiming that the seller simply hadn't seen her payment. So, I knew Pinkie was a liar and manipulative as well.
And so the fun began.
Pinkie wrote back to me:
If you have no intention of having the Unpaid Item Strike removed and of completing the transaction (which would be the PROFESSIONAL way of handling this matter, since you have several of these watches) then please refund my Paypal payment immediately. Otherwise I will have no choice but to file fraud reports with Paypal, Ebay, and law enforcement (by the way - my father is a sitting Judge and my brother is an attorney and senior partner in a law firm.) Your choice.
I replied:
Ah, that's what I like: A buyer with complete unprofessionalism, lack of conscience, lack of social graces, and the belief that everyone needs to kowtow to them. Please give your scary relatives a friendly hello from us, and wish them a Happy New Year. Unlike you, on New Year's Eve we have places to go and don't have time to babysit our business 24/7. I have a feeling His Honor might understand that. Oh, and congratulations to your most-impressive brother. Perhaps you might want to follow in his footsteps and make something of yourself as well. Don't think we'll make the same mistake that [other seller] made: We play only as nice as YOU do.
Pinkie then wrote:
No, I'm just a lowly department head in city administration with 2 university degrees, not an Ebay peddler. A formal complaint will be filed by fax on Wednesday morning, 2 January, to: Pinellas County Department of Consumer Protection 14250 49th ST. N. 2nd Floor, Clearwater, FL 33762. From there it will be processed for criminal prosecution for internet fraud, since you have obviously stolen funds with no intention of delivering the items. Full reports will be submitted to both Ebay and Paypal so that they will be aware of the criminal actions being taken against you. You have obvously made your choice, Ms PROFESSIONAL. Enjoy.
I replied:
Do threats and bullying normally work for you? I suppose there are many sheeples who fall for it. With so many relatives in law, I'd think you'd realise how well that looks with law-enforcement and what Ebay's rules are concerning bullying. Of course you've put it all in writing (thank you). As I said previously, when we get the chance, we will delve into the matter and if you paid us (in an obvious attempt to manipulate the situation) then we'll refund you the money. After we were forced to report you as a deadbeat bidder, the deal is no longer valid - as you know: We see this is a habit with you. Dropping names and addresses doesn't impress me in the least - I could certainly do the same, but I have more class than you (apparently). Perhaps you might consider Charm School or, at the very least, anger management. Surely you could excel at both, right? After all, you already have 2 degrees, so you're a quick learner.
Pinkie chewed this one over for about 15 minutes. Then she decided to let loose. At this point, her manic obsessive-compulsive side started to take over and she sent me THREE emails (one of them being a copy of her PayPal payment which I won't bother to share with you here):
Pinkie's First Response:
You're the one who's stated in writing that you have no intention of delivering items, although you've been paid. Check your email and you'll see. Also check your paypal account rather than harassing me. Best wishes to you - why didn't you simply have the Unpaid Item Strikes removed and complete the transaction, as I cordially requested that you do, rather than becoming so vicious and lying about receiving a Paypal payment? Does it give you a thrill?
Pinkie's Second Note:
No threats or bullying, [my real name here]. Simply a statement of what WILL happen.
Ahhh... So here she is using my REAL name in an attempt to show me that I'm vulnerable and she knows who I am and where I live. This type of neurotic individual is rather easy to read. So, I shot her my reply:
[Pinkie's Real Name], I am growing increasingly concerned about your mental health and well-being due to your peculiar allegations and obsessiveness. I strongly suggest you see a doctor and get a complete psychiatric work-up. Simply because you're educated doesn't mean that you can't be afflicted with mental illness and perhaps you should consider this to be a possibility. Either that, or you are poor at the game of lying and manipulations. Lying and accusing me of things that didn't happen won't make a difference to Ebay, PayPal, or any judge or jury in the land when they can see the email trail.
TO SUM IT UP: Our policy is clear - pay within three days of winning the item(s). 8 days after the auction closed, after repeated attempts to get you to pay or respond to the invoices (all documented), we reported you to Ebay. 8 days after THAT, again with repeated attempts to contact you, we finally were forced to ask Ebay to close both sales and issue us a credit. In order to issue us a credit, Ebay also gives a 'strike' to the buyer.
Tonight, when you finally discovered that ignoring your obligations wasn't working, you made the decision to pay us in the hopes that we would buy your excuses (which you've made to other sellers before).
We don't buy the excuses and we don't want business from buyers as unethical as YOU are. We didn't want your money after the sale was closed and we don't want it now. We didn't ask for it, this was YOUR decision, and we will kindly refund you anything you rashly decided to pay... WHEN we get the chance. We are busy with other things. Your repeated emails are actually delaying our chance to do anything ELSE, which will, in turn, delay your refund as well.
Pinkie didn't reply after that one. I thought she'd taken the hint. My plan was to fully refund her the following morning. However, in the belief that it's best to always know your enemies, I decided to do some research on her that night. I knew the little city in Arkansas which she lives in, and since she was kind enough to tell me about her family's pedigree, I knew to look for individuals with her same last name. I figured that with a neurotic personality like that, she couldn't be married, and it turned out that I was right!
By now I had brought the other seller into the fold and reported my findings to her:
Pinkie apparently works and lives in the little town of XXXXXX, Arkansas, population 52,000 (give or take). She suffers from, I venture to guess, big-fish-in-little-pond syndrome. She was the "Assistant to the Mayor of Community Development" there, but was (apparently) recently promoted to be Director of Community Development and works with HUD (low-income housing). She also has the dubious distinction of participation in [Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]. YES! I am not kidding. Here is the link:
[a link to the Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]
Since there are only 32 people who work in XXXXXX City Hall, I'm thinking she isn't half as important as she thinks she is. However, the [college name] is stationed there. They have 10,000 students there. Here at USF we have a student pop of 54,000. And, of course, we have many other colleges here as well. I'm beginning to get a picture of the size of this town.
Perhaps we can assume that XXXXXX is a suburb and give Pinkie the credit of being Queen of the Burbs. :D
Pinkie's father is (my best guess) Judge XXX XXXXX. Of course XXXXX might be her married name, but with her attitude, I somehow doubt it. So .... if Judge XXX is her dad, get a load of THIS article:
[a link to a story about his upholding the law that allows toddlers of the opposite sex to get married in Arkansas]
That would make her brother XXXX XXXXX:
[a link to the law firm her brother works for with a picture of his cherubic, smiling face]
Now, the other seller had been bullied into going along with Pinkie the last time. She had allowed Pinkie to complete the sale, and had sent her a solid gold gemstone ring. At this point, the seller discovered that Pinkie had just opened a PayPal complaint against her for non-receipt of goods. However, this seller had sent the ring with a delivery confirmation slip and when she looked it up on the USPS site, she found that Pinkie HAD received the ring.
This was getting better and better.
The next morning, I logged into PayPal to arrange the refund to Pinkie. I was almost disappointed, because she hadn't sent me any more spittle-flecked rabid commentary. But lo and behold, I discovered that she had reported me to PayPal! Here's what she wrote in her opening complaint:
Seller was paid, and after receiving payment has blatantly refused to deliver the items or refund payment. This matter will be referred to the Pinellas County Office of Consumer Affairs for criminal fraud prosecution should a full refund not be received immediately.
Now this was really to good to be true, because I knew something that Pinkie didn't know. I knew that I have the last word if I refund her the money, because at that point the case is closed and there are no new notes added to the file. So I wrote:
[Pinkie's Real Name], as you know, I have a series of your emails and everything is documented via Ebay. Lying to PayPal (an extension of Ebay) will get you nowhere and could result in a suspension of your account. You purchased two items and never paid for them despite repeated invoices from us. After 8 days, we reported you to Ebay. We continued to send daily invoices. After 8 more days, we closed the transaction, and you received two strikes against you via Ebay.
That night you realized you couldn't shirk your obligations without consequences, and you discovered the two strikes. In an attempt to manipulate the situation, you made the payment THEN, after the sale was null and void.
We told you we'd refund you when we had the opportunity. We also told you that this was unacceptable behavior on your part. You tried this same ploy on [other seller who is currently laughing hysterically over the whole scenario] and on at least one other seller (according to your feedback). How long do you think such unprofessional and scummy behavior will be tolerated?
I'll bet Judge XXX and brother XXXXX would be disappointed. Surely the board of commissioners for the tiny City of XXXXXX would be shocked, and if you behave this way all the time you undoubtedly won't be asked to continue to volunteer for the prestigious ...er, what is it called? Is this possibly correct: [Amazingly Ridiculous Sounding Celebration of Some Kind]? Strange hobbies you have up there in XXXXXX, Arkansas.
Then I refunded her the monies with a final parting shot:
Here's the money back, which you sent after the sales were voided. Again, we would never welcome the monies from such an unethical buyer. Of course with all the crazed emails you sent to us, we will be happy to forward them to anyone who is interested.
During this time, I was urging the other seller to contact Ebay or PayPal (which are sister companies) with both of our stories so that Pinkie could be dealt with effectively. The other seller couldn't figure out how to get through so I finally called and spoke to a PayPal representative. He reviewed both files and refunded the other seller the money so that she wouldn't have to continue to be, as he put it, 'harassed' by Pinkie.
I have yet to hear from Pinkie, who serves on the very prestigious committee overseeing the famous celebration in her small town, which seems to advocate a sexual act on a reptile.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Peace?
Peace at last.
For any of us in any form of retail, we feel a certain wryness when we sing about peace during the holidays.
We also wonder how the concept of peace applies to our everyday lives. I recently gave a mortal business enemy a Christmas Card with the word "Peace" engraved in gilded script across the front of it, thinking "...if only!" I wonder if he got the message: I can only hope it works subliminally.
And now that it's the first day of the year, it's eerily quiet. All emails have stopped. All Ebay transactions and last minute running about is over.
In many ways, however, peace is our enemy. This year ushers in an economic recession at best, which may turn into a depression at worst. My primary business is being heavily affected, and many other businesses are suffering, too.
By nature, I am not a peaceful person. Oh, I believe in peace with my fellow man! But to sit about quietly? I need to be busy and I am frightened that this January will be a little too peaceful for my taste.
One interruption I don't welcome is the lawsuit I must enact against my former friend and tenant, who owes me a little over $4,000. But I am at peace knowing that the home she and her drugged-out son destroyed is completely fixed up and beautiful inside: It looks like a model home of what mobile homes should look like.
The home is completely drywalled, clean, neat, and has a new tenant who can't believe her good fortune. She has fixed up the home so beautifully that not only does it feel warm and cozy, but even *I* would happily move in immediately - no questions asked.
And unlike my former and ungrateful friend, this new tenant delights in the fact that she has a new hot water heater, two new airconditioners, and a washer and dryer. In fact, she has become rather entrepreneurial and is charging her fellow neighbors $5 a load if they wish to use her laundry facilities!
My little ebay business sped up drastically around Christmas time, but I fear it will be flatlining for the next couple of weeks. And my primary business is limping along fitfully.
However, this is the time to get back to writing my book, exercising, designing a belated Christmas gift for my mother, projects for my house, and perhaps polishing up my resume. A friend and I are currently working on creating a surprise for my son: A massive re-haul of his bedroom while he's away for a week.
What will you be doing to start out the New Year? And what are your feelings about it? Will 2008 be better or worse than 2007?
Happy New Year to every one of you (as long as you're one of the good guys). May this year surprise us with success and startle us with a profitable workload!
For any of us in any form of retail, we feel a certain wryness when we sing about peace during the holidays.
We also wonder how the concept of peace applies to our everyday lives. I recently gave a mortal business enemy a Christmas Card with the word "Peace" engraved in gilded script across the front of it, thinking "...if only!" I wonder if he got the message: I can only hope it works subliminally.
And now that it's the first day of the year, it's eerily quiet. All emails have stopped. All Ebay transactions and last minute running about is over.
In many ways, however, peace is our enemy. This year ushers in an economic recession at best, which may turn into a depression at worst. My primary business is being heavily affected, and many other businesses are suffering, too.
By nature, I am not a peaceful person. Oh, I believe in peace with my fellow man! But to sit about quietly? I need to be busy and I am frightened that this January will be a little too peaceful for my taste.
One interruption I don't welcome is the lawsuit I must enact against my former friend and tenant, who owes me a little over $4,000. But I am at peace knowing that the home she and her drugged-out son destroyed is completely fixed up and beautiful inside: It looks like a model home of what mobile homes should look like.
The home is completely drywalled, clean, neat, and has a new tenant who can't believe her good fortune. She has fixed up the home so beautifully that not only does it feel warm and cozy, but even *I* would happily move in immediately - no questions asked.
And unlike my former and ungrateful friend, this new tenant delights in the fact that she has a new hot water heater, two new airconditioners, and a washer and dryer. In fact, she has become rather entrepreneurial and is charging her fellow neighbors $5 a load if they wish to use her laundry facilities!
My little ebay business sped up drastically around Christmas time, but I fear it will be flatlining for the next couple of weeks. And my primary business is limping along fitfully.
However, this is the time to get back to writing my book, exercising, designing a belated Christmas gift for my mother, projects for my house, and perhaps polishing up my resume. A friend and I are currently working on creating a surprise for my son: A massive re-haul of his bedroom while he's away for a week.
What will you be doing to start out the New Year? And what are your feelings about it? Will 2008 be better or worse than 2007?
Happy New Year to every one of you (as long as you're one of the good guys). May this year surprise us with success and startle us with a profitable workload!
Friday, December 07, 2007
Why Some Men are Threatened by Hillary
As a conservative woman, I dislike some of Hillary Clinton's policies. I was also disappointed when she chose to "put up and shut up" when it came to her husband's peccadillos. I saw this as a sign of weakness, and I dislike weakness. She is also pro-abortion (I am not) and tends to favor more social programs than I do.
These are my reservations about Hillary Clinton, and I am always happy to discuss them with anyone.
However, there are many men who are self-styled 'conservatives' who are hardly conservative in their approach to Hillary. Such men speak about and refer to Hillary as they never would about her male counterparts. Instead of behaving as intelligent gentlemen, they are instantly reduced to white trash when Hillary's name is mentioned.
Why is this?
I've seen the t-shirts that say "Hillary, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich." I haven't seen any that tell Barack Obama "Barack, go back to Africa" or ask Mitt Romney "Mitt: Where are your other wives?" And even if such t-shirts existed, those sayings wouldn't be attacking the candidates from a sexual perspective, as Hillary is being attacked.
On the internet, the name Hillary Clinton is often associated with such sexist put-downs as bitch, c***, whore, etc. However, you'd be hard-pressed to hear any of the male candidates called a prick, a dick, or even an asshole. Their beliefs are attacked, their sex is not.
I've heard Glenn Beck (who I otherwise respect for the most part) do an imitation of Hillary in a shrill fishwife voice. I've heard Rush snidely refer to her repeatedly as Mrs. Clinton, as if she has no claim to the throne based on her own merits.
Of course Rush makes other less oblique references to her, as well. Today, as I was radio-surfing, I heard him state that the only reason Hillary (and all women of her generation) went to college was to find a husband! And yet, I remember reading that Hillary was a brilliant scholar. I also remember that she graduated: Why graduate if your only goal is to catch a man? And what of the women who went to college after they married? Was their goal to find two husbands?
As the snot-nosed bully on the playground would say, "You're just a girl!"
What about Elizabeth Dole and Margaret Thatcher? What about Ann Coulter, darling of the right? Are they only girls, too?
This conservative male attitude is serving as a real eye-opener to many of us conservative females. If the worst that can be said of Hillary is a sexist put-down, obviously being female is a greater sin than being liberal. And this places many conservative males only slightly higher than the Muslim fundamentalists who believe in subjugating women through severe restrictions, female genital mutilation, and societal pressures.
How many women can remain quiet, knowing what their sons, husbands, and fathers are saying about Hillary? Do they not realize that such disdain is also levelled at them? For surely a man who believes that being a woman is a greater sin than liberalism will also see the women in his family as being a little less-than-human.
My mother is only a little older than Hillary. She and many other women of her generation didn't go to college to find a husband. They went to learn, better themselves, and come out as richer human beings. Having questing minds, these women worked their way into the workplace, sometimes doing the job better than their male predecessors. Many stayed at home, where the work was even harder.
These women enriched our lives due to the concepts they learned and the experiences they had in college and in the business world. It may shock some men to hear that many of these women became successful not simply because of the men they slept with, but due to their own merits instead. In fact, my mother just became a published author whose book can be found on Amazon and in bookstores.
Oh, but that's right: She's just a girl.
So why are some men so bent on attacking Hillary's sex? I had thought such barbarism went out in the 1970s. However, apparently such disdain runs deep in the psyche of less-intelligent males.
Do you remember the schoolyard bully that I mentioned earlier? Of course you do: Every school had at least one. Well, what do you remember of that bully? You probably remember he was pretty stupid and no one really liked him.
As we grow older, we realize bullies picked on others because they felt so terribly inadequate. In order to feel better about themselves, bullies need to view all others as lesser-beings.
Obviously the men attacking Hillary in this way feel threatened. And they're not threatened by her ideas, or they'd be attacking the ideas instead. No, they're merely threatened by her sex: "The Little Woman has arisen and she's uppity! Doesn't she know her place? Her place is beneath and behind us, or we will find ourselves last in line!"
The bully's solution is to attempt to denigrate Hillary in any way he can. And if Hillary can be treated this way, what will happen to the rest of us women who dare to state our sometimes unpopular views? Are we destined to be bullied, too?
As Margaret Thatcher once said "If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."
Oh, but that's right: She was just a girl.
These are my reservations about Hillary Clinton, and I am always happy to discuss them with anyone.
However, there are many men who are self-styled 'conservatives' who are hardly conservative in their approach to Hillary. Such men speak about and refer to Hillary as they never would about her male counterparts. Instead of behaving as intelligent gentlemen, they are instantly reduced to white trash when Hillary's name is mentioned.
Why is this?
I've seen the t-shirts that say "Hillary, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich." I haven't seen any that tell Barack Obama "Barack, go back to Africa" or ask Mitt Romney "Mitt: Where are your other wives?" And even if such t-shirts existed, those sayings wouldn't be attacking the candidates from a sexual perspective, as Hillary is being attacked.
On the internet, the name Hillary Clinton is often associated with such sexist put-downs as bitch, c***, whore, etc. However, you'd be hard-pressed to hear any of the male candidates called a prick, a dick, or even an asshole. Their beliefs are attacked, their sex is not.
I've heard Glenn Beck (who I otherwise respect for the most part) do an imitation of Hillary in a shrill fishwife voice. I've heard Rush snidely refer to her repeatedly as Mrs. Clinton, as if she has no claim to the throne based on her own merits.
Of course Rush makes other less oblique references to her, as well. Today, as I was radio-surfing, I heard him state that the only reason Hillary (and all women of her generation) went to college was to find a husband! And yet, I remember reading that Hillary was a brilliant scholar. I also remember that she graduated: Why graduate if your only goal is to catch a man? And what of the women who went to college after they married? Was their goal to find two husbands?
As the snot-nosed bully on the playground would say, "You're just a girl!"
What about Elizabeth Dole and Margaret Thatcher? What about Ann Coulter, darling of the right? Are they only girls, too?
This conservative male attitude is serving as a real eye-opener to many of us conservative females. If the worst that can be said of Hillary is a sexist put-down, obviously being female is a greater sin than being liberal. And this places many conservative males only slightly higher than the Muslim fundamentalists who believe in subjugating women through severe restrictions, female genital mutilation, and societal pressures.
How many women can remain quiet, knowing what their sons, husbands, and fathers are saying about Hillary? Do they not realize that such disdain is also levelled at them? For surely a man who believes that being a woman is a greater sin than liberalism will also see the women in his family as being a little less-than-human.
My mother is only a little older than Hillary. She and many other women of her generation didn't go to college to find a husband. They went to learn, better themselves, and come out as richer human beings. Having questing minds, these women worked their way into the workplace, sometimes doing the job better than their male predecessors. Many stayed at home, where the work was even harder.
These women enriched our lives due to the concepts they learned and the experiences they had in college and in the business world. It may shock some men to hear that many of these women became successful not simply because of the men they slept with, but due to their own merits instead. In fact, my mother just became a published author whose book can be found on Amazon and in bookstores.
Oh, but that's right: She's just a girl.
So why are some men so bent on attacking Hillary's sex? I had thought such barbarism went out in the 1970s. However, apparently such disdain runs deep in the psyche of less-intelligent males.
Do you remember the schoolyard bully that I mentioned earlier? Of course you do: Every school had at least one. Well, what do you remember of that bully? You probably remember he was pretty stupid and no one really liked him.
As we grow older, we realize bullies picked on others because they felt so terribly inadequate. In order to feel better about themselves, bullies need to view all others as lesser-beings.
Obviously the men attacking Hillary in this way feel threatened. And they're not threatened by her ideas, or they'd be attacking the ideas instead. No, they're merely threatened by her sex: "The Little Woman has arisen and she's uppity! Doesn't she know her place? Her place is beneath and behind us, or we will find ourselves last in line!"
The bully's solution is to attempt to denigrate Hillary in any way he can. And if Hillary can be treated this way, what will happen to the rest of us women who dare to state our sometimes unpopular views? Are we destined to be bullied, too?
As Margaret Thatcher once said "If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman."
Oh, but that's right: She was just a girl.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
The Lack of Shopping This Season
Today I'm not going to bemoan the commercialization of Christmas, or how we have to use the word 'holiday' in substitution of the various holy days we celebrate this time of year.
But, I do a lot of shopping at discount outlets for goodies to sell on Ebay and I have to say I've been shocked to see how few people are shopping at this time of year. And, those who are shopping are carrying far less parcels than they did last year.
And yet, as the government cheerfully tells us, employment is at an all-time low! What they neglect to mention is that people who used to have high-end high-paying jobs are now employed at McDonald's.
Yup! Unemployment's at an all-time low: So are our salaries.
So it's no wonder that when you walk through Macy's you can hear your footsteps echoing throughout the vast cavern of glittering holiday-themed outerwear and assorted tchochkes. However, try to elbow your way through a Dollar Tree to get a simple pack of tissue paper, and you'll find out where everyone is buying stocking stuffers this year.
Even our local outlet stores are offering additional discounts off their already low prices and many people are agreeing to forgo gifts this season. In fact, my parents, Sonosaur and I have an agreement to go out for a very elegant meal at a 5-star restaurant, instead. It makes sense for us, since we all have what we already want and need: What's the use in receiving one more sweater, one more necktie, one more Christmas ornament?
The shoppers look different, too. They have an almost haggard look about them, as if they are worn out from pinching pennies too fiercely. There are few smiling faces, no carefree swinging of bags, and a look of intense concentration as they carefully compare merchandise: "Should I spend the extra $20 for this sweater? Is it really worth the extra money?"
Perhaps as we near Christmas, we'll see a difference. But for now, there is a dearth of happy Holiday shoppers.
But, I do a lot of shopping at discount outlets for goodies to sell on Ebay and I have to say I've been shocked to see how few people are shopping at this time of year. And, those who are shopping are carrying far less parcels than they did last year.
And yet, as the government cheerfully tells us, employment is at an all-time low! What they neglect to mention is that people who used to have high-end high-paying jobs are now employed at McDonald's.
Yup! Unemployment's at an all-time low: So are our salaries.
So it's no wonder that when you walk through Macy's you can hear your footsteps echoing throughout the vast cavern of glittering holiday-themed outerwear and assorted tchochkes. However, try to elbow your way through a Dollar Tree to get a simple pack of tissue paper, and you'll find out where everyone is buying stocking stuffers this year.
Even our local outlet stores are offering additional discounts off their already low prices and many people are agreeing to forgo gifts this season. In fact, my parents, Sonosaur and I have an agreement to go out for a very elegant meal at a 5-star restaurant, instead. It makes sense for us, since we all have what we already want and need: What's the use in receiving one more sweater, one more necktie, one more Christmas ornament?
The shoppers look different, too. They have an almost haggard look about them, as if they are worn out from pinching pennies too fiercely. There are few smiling faces, no carefree swinging of bags, and a look of intense concentration as they carefully compare merchandise: "Should I spend the extra $20 for this sweater? Is it really worth the extra money?"
Perhaps as we near Christmas, we'll see a difference. But for now, there is a dearth of happy Holiday shoppers.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Why I Didn't Write Last Week: The Mobile Home
As most of you recall, I had a nightmare tenant who had been a former friend. When she was evicted (read more about that decision here), she left destruction behind. I've had to hire two people and the three of us have been working on fixing the entire wreck.
Here are some pictures of what she and her son did (I'll be posting the 'after' photos when we're finished). I made them to document her destruction for court, but the notes are specifically addressed to her. This is the Augean Stables, trust me.
The funny thing is that I had never wanted to be a landlord. This was supposed to be only temporary, and I was helping a friend out. As my grandmother always said, no good deed goes unpunished.
The mobile home park management says they’ve brought this repeatedly to her attention. From the way the glass lies, it is apparent that it was broken from within the home. Shards are laying about outside.
Here are a couple shots of the brand-new carpet which had been installed for her. Please note that these pictures are easily enlarged and do illustrate what she already knows to be true: This is a true mess that will need to be steam-cleaned. Potentially, the carpet may be ruined because we cannot be sure if that long black stain can be cleaned, as we don’t know what it consists of. Due to the state of the carport, I’m sure it’s possible that it’s motor oil.
Here an entire kitchen cabinet door has been ripped off and is nowhere to be found. I have been forced to go buy 4 doors to replace these doors, as it is impossible to find another door that will match the original three.
These holes are not due to termites, as my pest control experts could testify. They’re due to someone having applied tape to the ceiling in places. In other places, it’s just obviously been picked at. Because both Mom and son were on drugs, it was probably done while they were high and sketchy.
Now we come to the new closet which had been installed for her in the living room (she 'needed' more storage space). Apparently someone had gone inside the closet and exerted a great amount of force outwards, resulting in the entire wall being pulled away. Seams were ripped open, and cracks were evident. A hole was punched into the base of the closet.
Now we come to the satanic (and just strange) drawings which occupy one of the panels in the bedroom. Again, this was freshly painted before she moved in and we had a discussion about her son drawing on the walls. This discussion didn’t prevent him from sticking up rock bands, sexually explicit lyrics, and satanic pictures on another panel in there, however, as the next picture shows.
Incidentally, many of the brand new knobs were ripped off, and one was dented and mangled beyond use. I will now have to purchase new knobs and hardware to replace what has been lost.
Here’s a shot of some of the garbage which she left behind. This is only what was between the refrigerator and kitchen counter…
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So what does this filthy refrigerator say? The lady who is cleaning the place gagged over this one.
As I told her... thanks for the used toilet paper wadded up on the toilet paper dispenser. That was a particularly nasty surprise.
Here are some pictures of what she and her son did (I'll be posting the 'after' photos when we're finished). I made them to document her destruction for court, but the notes are specifically addressed to her. This is the Augean Stables, trust me.
The funny thing is that I had never wanted to be a landlord. This was supposed to be only temporary, and I was helping a friend out. As my grandmother always said, no good deed goes unpunished.
The mobile home park management says they’ve brought this repeatedly to her attention. From the way the glass lies, it is apparent that it was broken from within the home. Shards are laying about outside.
Here are a couple shots of the brand-new carpet which had been installed for her. Please note that these pictures are easily enlarged and do illustrate what she already knows to be true: This is a true mess that will need to be steam-cleaned. Potentially, the carpet may be ruined because we cannot be sure if that long black stain can be cleaned, as we don’t know what it consists of. Due to the state of the carport, I’m sure it’s possible that it’s motor oil.
Here an entire kitchen cabinet door has been ripped off and is nowhere to be found. I have been forced to go buy 4 doors to replace these doors, as it is impossible to find another door that will match the original three.
These holes are not due to termites, as my pest control experts could testify. They’re due to someone having applied tape to the ceiling in places. In other places, it’s just obviously been picked at. Because both Mom and son were on drugs, it was probably done while they were high and sketchy.
Now we come to the new closet which had been installed for her in the living room (she 'needed' more storage space). Apparently someone had gone inside the closet and exerted a great amount of force outwards, resulting in the entire wall being pulled away. Seams were ripped open, and cracks were evident. A hole was punched into the base of the closet.
Now we come to the satanic (and just strange) drawings which occupy one of the panels in the bedroom. Again, this was freshly painted before she moved in and we had a discussion about her son drawing on the walls. This discussion didn’t prevent him from sticking up rock bands, sexually explicit lyrics, and satanic pictures on another panel in there, however, as the next picture shows.
Incidentally, many of the brand new knobs were ripped off, and one was dented and mangled beyond use. I will now have to purchase new knobs and hardware to replace what has been lost.
Here’s a shot of some of the garbage which she left behind. This is only what was between the refrigerator and kitchen counter…
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So what does this filthy refrigerator say? The lady who is cleaning the place gagged over this one.
As I told her... thanks for the used toilet paper wadded up on the toilet paper dispenser. That was a particularly nasty surprise.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Out of the Mouths of Babes
Logan is a 13 year old boy who lives on a ranch in a very small town in Nebraska. He called a Christian Radio station to share his story - he was distraught because he had to kill a beloved calf.
What I hear repeatedly echoed by everyone who's heard this is "his words have wisdom beyond his years." I think you'll agree. Even those of you who are die-hard atheists will probably find this touching.
Listen to what Logan had to say here
I will write more tomorrow! See you then!
What I hear repeatedly echoed by everyone who's heard this is "his words have wisdom beyond his years." I think you'll agree. Even those of you who are die-hard atheists will probably find this touching.
Listen to what Logan had to say here
I will write more tomorrow! See you then!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
I'm Not Dead Yet!
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not dead yet! More on what's been tying me up tomorrow...
Monday, November 19, 2007
Deader n' a Doornail
My next door neighbor died Friday night. It's really affected so many of us who loved "Sam" and yet had mixed feelings at the same time.
Sam was an energetic 64-year-old who had an exciting and weird life, and was dynamic with a funny, sarcastic sense of humor. His failings were his alcoholism, smoking, and addiction to anything that would get him high. His tall tales were never guaranteed to be true, but they were always entertaining. He had a long-suffering wife who alternated between adoration and exasperation.
When Sam began to have intense back pain in the early part of this year, everyone initially assumed it was just an old problem that had resurrected itself (he had had back surgery previously). Incompetant doctors misdiagnosed him until it was finally discovered that he had bone cancer.
It was downhill from there.
Sam himself had been part of my personal chaos, as well as the chaos he caused with others. However, I would never have termed his motives as malignant. No, he was removed from such an emotion.
Sam wished everyone well, but wished himself even better. He was a people pleaser when he wasn't pursuing his latest fix. Puzzlingly, he was a hard worker, and quick to help me when repairs or light construction work were needed. He could work harder than a 20-year-old, and he could party harder, too. Because of this, he eventually went into collusion with an ex-boyfriend of mine, and they both grew their addictions together for a while, conspiring to deceive me throughout the process.
However, Sam was also genuinely shocked and remorseful when he saw how devastated I was once the truth was revealed. And when he saw my ex-boyfriend on the road to recovery a year later, he couldn't have been happier.
Coming from a large American Indian family, Sam had some wonderful stories to tell, and would talk about the log cabin he lived in as a boy. He once told us of the time that there was a death in the family when he was only a young boy. Family came from all over to attend the funeral, and the senior members got the beds, so Sam found himself stretched out on a mat for the night, with the corpse in the coffin on the porch just outside. What particularly frightened Sam was the fact that the corpse was just on the other side of the wall, and he had a very difficult time sleeping through the night. He never forgot that particular terror and, perhaps because of this, he always had a fear of death.
Sam was also a handsome devil who had had at least three wives, four children, and three stepchildren. He was rugged, with a marvellous, full mustache that he was inordinately proud of. Because his four children had little to say or do with him, it's fair to say that he brought chaos into their lives as well and that as they grew up, they did their best to minimize it by distancing themselves.
As Sam would have said, he's now deader n' a doornail. I only hope it has brought him peace from the pain and the chaos. And perhaps now his children will be able to remember his strengths with appreciation, and remember less of his weaknesses.
I think that I speak for many when I say that he will be missed.
Sam was an energetic 64-year-old who had an exciting and weird life, and was dynamic with a funny, sarcastic sense of humor. His failings were his alcoholism, smoking, and addiction to anything that would get him high. His tall tales were never guaranteed to be true, but they were always entertaining. He had a long-suffering wife who alternated between adoration and exasperation.
When Sam began to have intense back pain in the early part of this year, everyone initially assumed it was just an old problem that had resurrected itself (he had had back surgery previously). Incompetant doctors misdiagnosed him until it was finally discovered that he had bone cancer.
It was downhill from there.
Sam himself had been part of my personal chaos, as well as the chaos he caused with others. However, I would never have termed his motives as malignant. No, he was removed from such an emotion.
Sam wished everyone well, but wished himself even better. He was a people pleaser when he wasn't pursuing his latest fix. Puzzlingly, he was a hard worker, and quick to help me when repairs or light construction work were needed. He could work harder than a 20-year-old, and he could party harder, too. Because of this, he eventually went into collusion with an ex-boyfriend of mine, and they both grew their addictions together for a while, conspiring to deceive me throughout the process.
However, Sam was also genuinely shocked and remorseful when he saw how devastated I was once the truth was revealed. And when he saw my ex-boyfriend on the road to recovery a year later, he couldn't have been happier.
Coming from a large American Indian family, Sam had some wonderful stories to tell, and would talk about the log cabin he lived in as a boy. He once told us of the time that there was a death in the family when he was only a young boy. Family came from all over to attend the funeral, and the senior members got the beds, so Sam found himself stretched out on a mat for the night, with the corpse in the coffin on the porch just outside. What particularly frightened Sam was the fact that the corpse was just on the other side of the wall, and he had a very difficult time sleeping through the night. He never forgot that particular terror and, perhaps because of this, he always had a fear of death.
Sam was also a handsome devil who had had at least three wives, four children, and three stepchildren. He was rugged, with a marvellous, full mustache that he was inordinately proud of. Because his four children had little to say or do with him, it's fair to say that he brought chaos into their lives as well and that as they grew up, they did their best to minimize it by distancing themselves.
As Sam would have said, he's now deader n' a doornail. I only hope it has brought him peace from the pain and the chaos. And perhaps now his children will be able to remember his strengths with appreciation, and remember less of his weaknesses.
I think that I speak for many when I say that he will be missed.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
No Growth Checking
I just took this picture when I was at my bank yesterday (the bank just changed it's name to Grow Financial). They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I'm going to try to sum it up in eight. This means "We Need to Fire Our Marketing Department Immediately":
Monday, November 12, 2007
Oscar
Remember the poor little abused dog ("Oscar") I got last Christmas? Now here he is, part of the gang and happy as he could ever hope to be:
Here's BoBo, The Top Dog, after we all went to the dog beach nearby. He is a gentle leader, who allows the other two to act like puppies and play together until he thinks they're getting too wild: Then he breaks it up by calmly walking into the middle of it and nosing them apart. During their day at the beach, they had a wonderful time, and everyone got a bath afterwards:
Here they are, always together. This time, laundry was freshly done and dumped on the couch. There is, apparently, nothing better than fresh, warm laundry to snuggle down on (yes, they're clean dogs):
Here's BoBo, The Top Dog, after we all went to the dog beach nearby. He is a gentle leader, who allows the other two to act like puppies and play together until he thinks they're getting too wild: Then he breaks it up by calmly walking into the middle of it and nosing them apart. During their day at the beach, they had a wonderful time, and everyone got a bath afterwards:
Here they are, always together. This time, laundry was freshly done and dumped on the couch. There is, apparently, nothing better than fresh, warm laundry to snuggle down on (yes, they're clean dogs):
Friday, November 09, 2007
The OTHER Ringling Mansion in Sarasota
(NOTE: Please forgive the poor photographs. I hadn't brought my camera when we stumbled across this and I only had my cell phone with me)
A couple of months ago, my parents, myself, and Sonosaur went to the beautiful and fascinating Ringling Museum in Sarasota, FL. I have plenty of pictures from the trip, and I will eventually share them with you. We've been going there on pilgrimages at least once a year for my entire life.
But on this last trip, we discovered something that none of us had known before. Apparently John Ringling's brother lived in a mansion on a piece of property next door to the Ringling Mansion and although it's been kept up by the local university, it is not part of the tour. Remember that they all got their money from the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus, so there were many brothers who did quite well, although it was John who 'discovered' Sarasota in the early 1900s and attempted to entice people to build vacation homes there.
During our exploration, we found that the front door was unlocked, and I am going to show you the pictures of THIS place first (they're not the greatest because I only had my cell phone with me at the time).
The home is built lavishly, according to Ringling standards, but is more of a true home than the schmaltzy John & Mabel Ringling home. Sadly, it's been converted to offices for the local college, so many rooms were inacessible or altered. Perhaps some day they'll refurbish this mansion, and include it in the tour.
I'll start out by telling you about the marvellous wrought iron entrance, concealing massive wooden doors:
Here are the doors as seen from the inside of the mansion:
This is an exterior shot of the mansion, showing the color of the stone:
These are pictures of the backside of the mansion. Note there are actually two homes. We now know that John Ringling housed family on his grounds, but I'm not certain as to who owned the mansion on the right. Both mansions are conjoined by a covered walkway that is original to the structures:
This is what you see when you first enter the front doors of the rosy mansion on the left:
Here is a close-up of the fireplace in the front entryway:
This is a view to the left of the front doors:
This is a view from the mansion, looking out the front doors:
If you have just entered the doors, and you look to your right, here is what you'll see:
And if you keep going to the back of the room, there is an entryway on each side that leads to a back porch. This is what you see:
If you're standing in the entryway again, and you go to your left, you will walk through some massive mahogany doors and down a couple of steps into the ballroom, which is made of polished mahogany.
If you look up, this is what you'll see:
Look at the handpainted ceiling details (I truly regret that I didn't have my camera with me that day).
On the side adjoining the house is a built-in pipe organ (below). Interestingly, there was a side door open as we went down the steps, and we peered in to see a pit that descends below the house, with a ladder. It's apparently there so that the pipe organ can be easily maintained from behind the scenes. However, we didn't venture down into the pit so we have no way of knowing. What's odd is that in Florida, we have a high water table, so I'm not sure how it could stay dry down there.
The room takes up the entire side of the house, from front to back. Here is a shot of the other side of the ballroom:
We did go upstairs, but rooms are locked and as I said before, they are all now being used as office space. There were some marvellous views over the water, and it seems such a shame to waste all this on a handful of faculty members and the occasional janitor. They include the family bedrooms and servant's quarters, and I sincerely hope that the university there has not altered this mansion from it's original schemata.
I understand that not much of this mansion is truly used, and so perhaps there are plans to bring it back to it's original splendor with furnishings and paintings and the opulence that the Ringlings loved.
A couple of months ago, my parents, myself, and Sonosaur went to the beautiful and fascinating Ringling Museum in Sarasota, FL. I have plenty of pictures from the trip, and I will eventually share them with you. We've been going there on pilgrimages at least once a year for my entire life.
But on this last trip, we discovered something that none of us had known before. Apparently John Ringling's brother lived in a mansion on a piece of property next door to the Ringling Mansion and although it's been kept up by the local university, it is not part of the tour. Remember that they all got their money from the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus, so there were many brothers who did quite well, although it was John who 'discovered' Sarasota in the early 1900s and attempted to entice people to build vacation homes there.
During our exploration, we found that the front door was unlocked, and I am going to show you the pictures of THIS place first (they're not the greatest because I only had my cell phone with me at the time).
The home is built lavishly, according to Ringling standards, but is more of a true home than the schmaltzy John & Mabel Ringling home. Sadly, it's been converted to offices for the local college, so many rooms were inacessible or altered. Perhaps some day they'll refurbish this mansion, and include it in the tour.
I'll start out by telling you about the marvellous wrought iron entrance, concealing massive wooden doors:
Here are the doors as seen from the inside of the mansion:
This is an exterior shot of the mansion, showing the color of the stone:
These are pictures of the backside of the mansion. Note there are actually two homes. We now know that John Ringling housed family on his grounds, but I'm not certain as to who owned the mansion on the right. Both mansions are conjoined by a covered walkway that is original to the structures:
This is what you see when you first enter the front doors of the rosy mansion on the left:
Here is a close-up of the fireplace in the front entryway:
This is a view to the left of the front doors:
This is a view from the mansion, looking out the front doors:
If you have just entered the doors, and you look to your right, here is what you'll see:
And if you keep going to the back of the room, there is an entryway on each side that leads to a back porch. This is what you see:
If you're standing in the entryway again, and you go to your left, you will walk through some massive mahogany doors and down a couple of steps into the ballroom, which is made of polished mahogany.
If you look up, this is what you'll see:
Look at the handpainted ceiling details (I truly regret that I didn't have my camera with me that day).
On the side adjoining the house is a built-in pipe organ (below). Interestingly, there was a side door open as we went down the steps, and we peered in to see a pit that descends below the house, with a ladder. It's apparently there so that the pipe organ can be easily maintained from behind the scenes. However, we didn't venture down into the pit so we have no way of knowing. What's odd is that in Florida, we have a high water table, so I'm not sure how it could stay dry down there.
The room takes up the entire side of the house, from front to back. Here is a shot of the other side of the ballroom:
We did go upstairs, but rooms are locked and as I said before, they are all now being used as office space. There were some marvellous views over the water, and it seems such a shame to waste all this on a handful of faculty members and the occasional janitor. They include the family bedrooms and servant's quarters, and I sincerely hope that the university there has not altered this mansion from it's original schemata.
I understand that not much of this mansion is truly used, and so perhaps there are plans to bring it back to it's original splendor with furnishings and paintings and the opulence that the Ringlings loved.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Tough Decision
The reason I haven't been writing is that I've been consumed by a tough decision that I have had to make. A friend is always in a tough situation. She had never been able to hold down a job, until I finally found her one with a fellow businessman. I couldn't afford to risk my reputation, but she promised she'd not let me down.
However, she calls in sick constantly, and is unreliable. Thankfully, they allow her to get away with it. Privately, I've told them not to hold me to what she does or doesn't do. If I'd known this was going to happen, of course, I would never have recommended her. Still, she hasn't been a complete disgrace, thankfully.
Then there was the problem of her housing. She was living in a hotel room with her son for years. This would be interspersed with brief times of living with friends or family until someone got good and sick of her and they would angrily part ways. Being somewhat gullible, I always felt badly for her, believing that she simply never made enough money to make ends meet, and there will always be tension between people if someone stays in another person's house for an extended period of time.
Finally, I purchased a small mobile home, fixed it up, and told her that she could rent from ME. Then I knew they'd have at least one bedroom, it would be vastly cheaper for her, and I wouldn't have to worry about her being out in the cold.
But she didn't pay me for the first three months.
Later, after I had to get firm, she began to pay me on a weekly basis, but by then it was too late. Because she hadn't been paying me, I didn't have the money I needed to have to pay the IRS and they began to assess me huge fines. I ended up losing over $2,000 in fines alone. I told her about this, but she was miraculously unaffected by it. In other words, she couldn't care less.
Then she began whining: It wasn't good enough. She needed another bedroom (as opposed to the no-bedroom hotel rooms she'd lived in for years). She didn't like the fact that it wasn't electrically rigged to withstand high loads of amperage when her spoiled teenage son plugged all his expensive guitar, amps, computer, airconditioner, and other equipment in at the same time. She felt it was somehow my fault that she would blow a fuse each time, and disdainfully declared the trailer a fire hazard (even though everyone told her otherwise).
This brings us to the next question: Where did her son get all the expensive equipment?
I found out only after she moved in that she'd won $9,000 in a settlement last November, and blew it all in a month and a half. Much of what she threw away was on toys for her son, though she also spent it on trips and gifts and non-essentials.
She didn't save a dime.
When she needed a new car, it took a number of us to beg her to reconsider getting further into debt. We steered her to a car that was reliable which she could afford. She finally agreed, then declared herself to be very happy with the car.
But then her behavior became bizarre. A relative of hers has privately told me that this is what happens each time. This is why she never stays anywhere for long. This is why she can't stay in a relationship.
Apparently at first, she is thrilled with whatever 'new toy' she has been given. But as time goes by, she grows increasingly discontented. She goes from wanting to marry the guy in the first week of their relationship to hating him by the sixth month. And she went from loving her little home and car to declaring that they were all crap, she hated living there and driving that car, and it is suddenly my fault that she has to pay me rent.
However, she is making good money! So where is it all going?
Well, I've discovered she smokes pot. In addition, she continues to desperately try to buy off her son by getting him whatever he wants. In turn, he is almost 18, does drugs, steals from her, and has brought his girlfriend into the house to live with them. Neither of the kids work, they only sponge off her, and he is mentally abusive to both of the women.
A week and a half ago, her spoiled son blew another fuse. Not knowing what was happening, my friend and I drove over to see what was wrong. Again, it was merely a fuse blown due to his excessive use. We tried to explain this to her, but she became increasingly irrational, declaring that she wanted out, hated living there, and even a hotel room was preferable.
She had done this once before. At that time, I was alarmed and had tried to persuade her to stay, pointing out all the benefits for her (even though I had lost a vast amount of money on the deal). She reluctantly capitulated then. Now I was facing the same thing, but even worse than before. She railed, she ranted, and she insisted that she wanted to leave.
I finally left.
And I thought about it.
And then I sent her a letter detailing everything, and asking her for a move-out date.
She didn't respond for a week, until she finally dropped off a payment in my mailbox. On the envelope, she'd written " I guess I'm still not ready to address your email but I will." No, I decided, I am NOT going to continue to wait upon her pleasure. I had enough, and this was going nowhere.
On Monday, I served her with an eviction notice. Following the eviction notice, she sent me an increasing amount of angry emails. I attempted to handle each one truthfully and logically. But what it all boils down to is...
I am done.
However, she calls in sick constantly, and is unreliable. Thankfully, they allow her to get away with it. Privately, I've told them not to hold me to what she does or doesn't do. If I'd known this was going to happen, of course, I would never have recommended her. Still, she hasn't been a complete disgrace, thankfully.
Then there was the problem of her housing. She was living in a hotel room with her son for years. This would be interspersed with brief times of living with friends or family until someone got good and sick of her and they would angrily part ways. Being somewhat gullible, I always felt badly for her, believing that she simply never made enough money to make ends meet, and there will always be tension between people if someone stays in another person's house for an extended period of time.
Finally, I purchased a small mobile home, fixed it up, and told her that she could rent from ME. Then I knew they'd have at least one bedroom, it would be vastly cheaper for her, and I wouldn't have to worry about her being out in the cold.
But she didn't pay me for the first three months.
Later, after I had to get firm, she began to pay me on a weekly basis, but by then it was too late. Because she hadn't been paying me, I didn't have the money I needed to have to pay the IRS and they began to assess me huge fines. I ended up losing over $2,000 in fines alone. I told her about this, but she was miraculously unaffected by it. In other words, she couldn't care less.
Then she began whining: It wasn't good enough. She needed another bedroom (as opposed to the no-bedroom hotel rooms she'd lived in for years). She didn't like the fact that it wasn't electrically rigged to withstand high loads of amperage when her spoiled teenage son plugged all his expensive guitar, amps, computer, airconditioner, and other equipment in at the same time. She felt it was somehow my fault that she would blow a fuse each time, and disdainfully declared the trailer a fire hazard (even though everyone told her otherwise).
This brings us to the next question: Where did her son get all the expensive equipment?
I found out only after she moved in that she'd won $9,000 in a settlement last November, and blew it all in a month and a half. Much of what she threw away was on toys for her son, though she also spent it on trips and gifts and non-essentials.
She didn't save a dime.
When she needed a new car, it took a number of us to beg her to reconsider getting further into debt. We steered her to a car that was reliable which she could afford. She finally agreed, then declared herself to be very happy with the car.
But then her behavior became bizarre. A relative of hers has privately told me that this is what happens each time. This is why she never stays anywhere for long. This is why she can't stay in a relationship.
Apparently at first, she is thrilled with whatever 'new toy' she has been given. But as time goes by, she grows increasingly discontented. She goes from wanting to marry the guy in the first week of their relationship to hating him by the sixth month. And she went from loving her little home and car to declaring that they were all crap, she hated living there and driving that car, and it is suddenly my fault that she has to pay me rent.
However, she is making good money! So where is it all going?
Well, I've discovered she smokes pot. In addition, she continues to desperately try to buy off her son by getting him whatever he wants. In turn, he is almost 18, does drugs, steals from her, and has brought his girlfriend into the house to live with them. Neither of the kids work, they only sponge off her, and he is mentally abusive to both of the women.
A week and a half ago, her spoiled son blew another fuse. Not knowing what was happening, my friend and I drove over to see what was wrong. Again, it was merely a fuse blown due to his excessive use. We tried to explain this to her, but she became increasingly irrational, declaring that she wanted out, hated living there, and even a hotel room was preferable.
She had done this once before. At that time, I was alarmed and had tried to persuade her to stay, pointing out all the benefits for her (even though I had lost a vast amount of money on the deal). She reluctantly capitulated then. Now I was facing the same thing, but even worse than before. She railed, she ranted, and she insisted that she wanted to leave.
I finally left.
And I thought about it.
And then I sent her a letter detailing everything, and asking her for a move-out date.
She didn't respond for a week, until she finally dropped off a payment in my mailbox. On the envelope, she'd written " I guess I'm still not ready to address your email but I will." No, I decided, I am NOT going to continue to wait upon her pleasure. I had enough, and this was going nowhere.
On Monday, I served her with an eviction notice. Following the eviction notice, she sent me an increasing amount of angry emails. I attempted to handle each one truthfully and logically. But what it all boils down to is...
I am done.
Friday, November 02, 2007
When to Call 911
As many of you know, one of my best friends is dying from excruciatingly painful bone cancer. She was recently prescribed oxycontin, which will hopefully ease her pain yet allow her to be somewhat functional.
But Rosie continues to see the humor in situations, and there are many times that we find ourselves laughing hysterically over something. So when Rosie got off the phone with the pharmacist the other day, she had to call me.
"You know how I am," she began. "I just had to get out the literature and read all about the side effects."
"Oh NO," I exclaimed. "Don't you dare do that! Why, have you ever read the warnings on birth control pills? I know you! You will take the warnings way too seriously!"
"Stop interrupting!" said Rosie. "OK, so as I was saying, the side effects are frightening! It says I shouldn't take oxycontin if I have had head injuries, asthma or allergies (among other things). Well, I have all three! So, I called the pharmacist immediately."
Here we go, I thought. I will never get her to see the wisdom in taking the oxycontin now. She already has her resistance up because she doesn't want to take anything addictive like an opiate!
Rosie continued, "I got a lady whom I'd never spoken with before. I told her my concerns. She said it really wasn't a big deal, and I shouldn't worry about all the contraindications. I told her that I was especially worried about the part where it says you could suddenly stop breathing. I said "You know, ma'am, I'm ready to go, but not quite yet. Although these pills are supposed to stop the pain, this would be a rather drastic way to accomplish that.""
The pharmacist chuckled and assured her that this was highly unlikely. "And," she added helpfully, "If you do stop breathing, call 911 immediately."
But Rosie continues to see the humor in situations, and there are many times that we find ourselves laughing hysterically over something. So when Rosie got off the phone with the pharmacist the other day, she had to call me.
"You know how I am," she began. "I just had to get out the literature and read all about the side effects."
"Oh NO," I exclaimed. "Don't you dare do that! Why, have you ever read the warnings on birth control pills? I know you! You will take the warnings way too seriously!"
"Stop interrupting!" said Rosie. "OK, so as I was saying, the side effects are frightening! It says I shouldn't take oxycontin if I have had head injuries, asthma or allergies (among other things). Well, I have all three! So, I called the pharmacist immediately."
Here we go, I thought. I will never get her to see the wisdom in taking the oxycontin now. She already has her resistance up because she doesn't want to take anything addictive like an opiate!
Rosie continued, "I got a lady whom I'd never spoken with before. I told her my concerns. She said it really wasn't a big deal, and I shouldn't worry about all the contraindications. I told her that I was especially worried about the part where it says you could suddenly stop breathing. I said "You know, ma'am, I'm ready to go, but not quite yet. Although these pills are supposed to stop the pain, this would be a rather drastic way to accomplish that.""
The pharmacist chuckled and assured her that this was highly unlikely. "And," she added helpfully, "If you do stop breathing, call 911 immediately."
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