Tough Decision

The reason I haven't been writing is that I've been consumed by a tough decision that I have had to make. A friend is always in a tough situation. She had never been able to hold down a job, until I finally found her one with a fellow businessman. I couldn't afford to risk my reputation, but she promised she'd not let me down.

However, she calls in sick constantly, and is unreliable. Thankfully, they allow her to get away with it. Privately, I've told them not to hold me to what she does or doesn't do. If I'd known this was going to happen, of course, I would never have recommended her. Still, she hasn't been a complete disgrace, thankfully.

Then there was the problem of her housing. She was living in a hotel room with her son for years. This would be interspersed with brief times of living with friends or family until someone got good and sick of her and they would angrily part ways. Being somewhat gullible, I always felt badly for her, believing that she simply never made enough money to make ends meet, and there will always be tension between people if someone stays in another person's house for an extended period of time.

Finally, I purchased a small mobile home, fixed it up, and told her that she could rent from ME. Then I knew they'd have at least one bedroom, it would be vastly cheaper for her, and I wouldn't have to worry about her being out in the cold.

But she didn't pay me for the first three months.

Later, after I had to get firm, she began to pay me on a weekly basis, but by then it was too late. Because she hadn't been paying me, I didn't have the money I needed to have to pay the IRS and they began to assess me huge fines. I ended up losing over $2,000 in fines alone. I told her about this, but she was miraculously unaffected by it. In other words, she couldn't care less.

Then she began whining: It wasn't good enough. She needed another bedroom (as opposed to the no-bedroom hotel rooms she'd lived in for years). She didn't like the fact that it wasn't electrically rigged to withstand high loads of amperage when her spoiled teenage son plugged all his expensive guitar, amps, computer, airconditioner, and other equipment in at the same time. She felt it was somehow my fault that she would blow a fuse each time, and disdainfully declared the trailer a fire hazard (even though everyone told her otherwise).

This brings us to the next question: Where did her son get all the expensive equipment?

I found out only after she moved in that she'd won $9,000 in a settlement last November, and blew it all in a month and a half. Much of what she threw away was on toys for her son, though she also spent it on trips and gifts and non-essentials.

She didn't save a dime.

When she needed a new car, it took a number of us to beg her to reconsider getting further into debt. We steered her to a car that was reliable which she could afford. She finally agreed, then declared herself to be very happy with the car.

But then her behavior became bizarre. A relative of hers has privately told me that this is what happens each time. This is why she never stays anywhere for long. This is why she can't stay in a relationship.

Apparently at first, she is thrilled with whatever 'new toy' she has been given. But as time goes by, she grows increasingly discontented. She goes from wanting to marry the guy in the first week of their relationship to hating him by the sixth month. And she went from loving her little home and car to declaring that they were all crap, she hated living there and driving that car, and it is suddenly my fault that she has to pay me rent.

However, she is making good money! So where is it all going?

Well, I've discovered she smokes pot. In addition, she continues to desperately try to buy off her son by getting him whatever he wants. In turn, he is almost 18, does drugs, steals from her, and has brought his girlfriend into the house to live with them. Neither of the kids work, they only sponge off her, and he is mentally abusive to both of the women.

A week and a half ago, her spoiled son blew another fuse. Not knowing what was happening, my friend and I drove over to see what was wrong. Again, it was merely a fuse blown due to his excessive use. We tried to explain this to her, but she became increasingly irrational, declaring that she wanted out, hated living there, and even a hotel room was preferable.

She had done this once before. At that time, I was alarmed and had tried to persuade her to stay, pointing out all the benefits for her (even though I had lost a vast amount of money on the deal). She reluctantly capitulated then. Now I was facing the same thing, but even worse than before. She railed, she ranted, and she insisted that she wanted to leave.

I finally left.

And I thought about it.

And then I sent her a letter detailing everything, and asking her for a move-out date.

She didn't respond for a week, until she finally dropped off a payment in my mailbox. On the envelope, she'd written " I guess I'm still not ready to address your email but I will." No, I decided, I am NOT going to continue to wait upon her pleasure. I had enough, and this was going nowhere.

On Monday, I served her with an eviction notice. Following the eviction notice, she sent me an increasing amount of angry emails. I attempted to handle each one truthfully and logically. But what it all boils down to is...

I am done.