I hate Starbucks. Their coffee is OK, but everything else is so passe yuppie. I admit it. And although I can afford a $1,329.95 cup of double-mocha-pericarditis-frappucino-sasquatch-grande, it still seems a little expensive for the common man.
But what really deters me from going into another Starbucks is the service. Perhaps you've experienced better? Allow me to share:
The first time I was put off by a Starbucks employee was about a year ago. I was in the mall, shopping with my family, and we all stopped there for a warm drink. When it was my turn, I said "I'll have some chai tea, please." I pronounced it "kie", since the man from India (where it originates from) who introduced me to it pronounced it that way. (I've been drinking the stuff years before Starbucks had heard of it).
"You mean chie," corrected the fat boy behind the counter, superciliously (using the soft 'ch' sound).
At that point I should've said "No, I mean kie, and you'll be wise to pronounce it that way too, or I'm walking outta here - capeesh?" but instead I said "Uh, well there are two different ways to pronounce it and I have always pronounced it this way."
He nodded disinterestedly at my weak attempt at self-justification and waited for me to tell him if I wanted it grande, grande elegante, or grande grande grande. I privately fantasized that he was my employee so that I could hire him, fire him, then hire him once more just so that I could fire him again.
Cut to yesterday morning.
I was waiting in line with a group of people, and Starbucks had only 2 employees during rush hour. That's right, only 2. And the line had about 10 customers, each wanting something that had at least 6 words in it.
Anyway, I waited (at the front of the line) while a fat man took orders at the drive-thru (what is it with fat guys at Starbucks?) and a harried-looking woman was frantically mixing up combinations.
Finally, the man came up to me. "Has she gotten your order yet?" he asked, as if he hadn't seen her moving about as distractedly as someone in the throes of a seizure.
"No," I said, flatly, staring at him. Oblivious to my disapproval, he asked what we wanted, and the 3 of us that were together ordered 3 different things. That was terribly confusing and so it delayed everything for a time, as he carefully rang it all up.
Then we stepped aside for the others in line to place their orders. And what do you know, some were getting their drinks before we were. We walked back up to the fat man, and told him (politely) that although we were first in line, there were others that were receiving their orders before we were.
He got rather snappish at this point, and asked us to step back over to the waiting part, and that we would be getting our order in no time flat. He implied that they were terribly busy and it was rather petty of us to want to receive our orders in a timely manner.
How uppity of us.
So, we meekly waited for them to get around to us, which they eventually did.
As we walked out, another group was walking in. I looked the leader firmly in the eye and said ominously, "You don't wanna go in there." It made no difference. They joined the ever-expanding line in quest of the ultimate cup of cinnamon-sashimi-doublet-syphilitic-grande-supreme.
I hate Starbucks.
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25 comments:
You know, Joe and I made our first venture into Starbucks a few weeks ago and we were not that impressed. It was a small shop but stayed busy the whole time we were there, about 15 minutes, with seasoned Starbucks patrons who knew how to order. We just stood there with a dumb look on our face, "Duh....this is our first time here, what is a ventemucholattefrappalinochino?" The coffee I ended up with was Yukon and it was ok, but not what I had built it up to be in my mind. We bought some coffee for home and it is much better to have a cuppajoe with my Joe in our home. :o)
For me they started going downhill when they opened shops in rest areas all along the highway. Before that it seemed like such a cool new place. We have one now that's a drive-through. I have sat in there and had a coffee... that is a mistake. The seating area is a long hallway where people are continually coming and going.
I like their plain coffee best, small, i.e., tall.
That is just plain stupid for a worker to correct a customer's pronunciation.
Oh forgedaboudit!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding? The only Starbuck's that is 'okay' are the ones located in butf*ck Egypt! I swear! I go to the one that is located in a Barnes & Nobles, and the line is down to the sci-fi section of the bookstore. It's total choas!
You had me laughing with the 'fat man'. Haha! Too much cafe mochas! Mmmmm....but don't forget, they have those yummy goodies there too... I have to admit, when I'm in there and I see those delicious fudge brownies, I get so excited! (I know...I need a life...~LOSER~) ....
Great story! So I guess asking you out for coffee is a 'no no'? I hope our wine doesn't take as long.
That's the way we get treated at our local post office.
Hey, there's and idea. Let's combine the post office with Starbucks. I'm a genius. Isn't I?
Fortunately we don't have any starbucks around. I would probably have to drive a couple states away to find the nearest one.
Suzie, I loved your post! I especially liked I told her very politely that I am a frequent flyer, and does she have monkeys working there this week? I rolled...
Ed, what, no 6-word beverages in your state???
Uncle Joe, well, it'll make going postal a lot easier.
Deb, you just gave me a great idea! They need to open up a WineStar or something. You know, for a quick glass of chablis in the evening. I mean, I know they have bars and cocktail hour but I'll bet you could package up a place like that and make it a big hit!
Jenn, yeah... I guess the manager wasn't around or didn't care, but talk about rude (as well as uninformed!)
Auntie and Uncle Joe, well, you've already GOT plenty of joe...
I have had similar experiences with Starbucks waaaay over here on the left coast. Admittedly, they are rare compared with the excellent or (more often) average service I've recieved, but it only takes one smug, incompetent, smarmy, pimply face kid (who, by the way, was just promoted to shift leader) to wipe out 100 visits where the service was good. Kinda leaves a bad taste in your mouth (nooo, I'm not sorry!).
Customer service ain't what it used to be. I used to run a cellular retail store (it sounds like a big affair, but although I was the boss, I was also the janitor and eveything in between. I was the only employee). The point is that cellulr services among the major carriers is pretty much awful across the board and their customer service is for the birds. I had record sales not only due to my efforts in the store, but also as a liaison between the carrier and (my) customer. Cingular didn't sell them the phone, I did... and I stood behind it. Eventually, word spread and, although every other mall had a cellular retail kiosk every ten feet, they went out of their way to me to purchase the exact same service and not always at the lowest price.
I have thought for some time now that the next huge American success story won't be one of the latest new must have widget or the latest new cheese doodle, but by someone who has entered into business, any business, where the customer is always right.
~Mike
Mike, that is exactly why I went into my other business yesterday morning to chew out a couple employees. I cannot believe that there are people are living and breathing today that don't realize that if you don't treat a customer well, they won't come back and if they do they'll make your life a living hell.
I work in retail automobile sales and people come from all over the state to buy from us, for one reason and one reason only.....we have trained our people in EXCEPTIONAL customer service. Period. Stop. THey pay a little more to buy their cars from us, but we bend over backwards the entire time they own them, to take care of every one of their needs. We don't sell high line cars, we sell Chevys and Fords and Chrylser-Jeep products. We are continually hailed in automotvie publications for our service record and our customers even come back to bring us presents, brownies, or just to say hi. I know we make an impression and that's important to me. As for Starbucks, I may never enter another one, I've found someplace that has far more interesting coffee and a much nicer atmosphere, Caribou Coffee and running a close second are the Moondance Coffee shops. I am sick to death of the pompous Starbucks attitude, along with the pompous prices.
Saur, I especially like the one with sashimi-syphilitic flavors! I laughed myself sick. Great post.
I can't stand going into those stores. Crowded, uncomfortable and expensive. The coffee is just ok in my book. I have seen the financial advisor on the Today Show add up the annual cost of what a latte-a-day costs! I say by a machine for home and save a bunch! IT'S COFFEE. ;o)
I am fortunate to be surrounded by many Starbucks and Caribous in my neck of the woods. Since I can't drink coffee, I always order the super ultra mega grande green tea at $1.65. Best part is that I get to cart off the wasted coffee grounds that they bag up, and use it to fertilize my garden beds.
Since there is at least 20 locations in a five mile area, they know best to keep their attitudes in check, and we've had nothing but friendly service each time. But I find that an exception, and not always the rule when I talk to other people about them.
I agree with Deb.... they do have some wonderful goodies to snack on.... mmmmm, chocolate criossants!
I hate piss poor customer service. It drives me nuts!
I had an annoying experience at Starbucks back in January.
I have purchased few Charbucks coffees in my life. The first one was so rancid that I asked for my money back (only 1.70 at the time). Another time in a different location, "timely manner" wasn't all that timely. One New Years Night, My First Wife and I took some Chinese friends and they all ordered tea which they thought was "...a little too American, but it's ok."
At home I drink my daughter's coffee. She and her husband own a cool coffee roastery here in The Big City. No charring. Outside the home, it's Denney's, Bob Evans, the convenience store/gas mart and those kind of places.
At Charbucks you DO NOT pay for coffee. You pay for all the crap they want you to put in it, and you pay for expensive rent. (I happen to know whereof I speak.) Notice that prices are different in different locations.
Interesting post, Saur. Kinda grumpy, like yesterday's. But fun.
They must have a 'code of poor customer service'. Its the same deal in Canada.
I really can't complain, I've never had a bad cup of coffee from Starbucks, and my girl friends and I occasionally go there to hype ourselves up with caffeine and exchange stories over those little private tables. I guess I'm one of those people who like the classier places every now and then?
However, as with all stores/resturaunts, it depends on which you happen to go to, and we have a few good ones around here. It's too bad about the poor service - you'd think they would have more people working behind the counter if it's known to get busy. I know what it's like to work under pressure like this, when people's tempers (not neccessarily yours) get short. Not a fun time for anyone!
I join in your rant. I am not a fan of Starbucks either. In fact, I find their coffee to be a bit on the bitter side.
Coffee Bean or Peets is so much better.
Most of the people who work there are college students, so I try to cut them some slack. And there is a huge turn-over.
I make my own coffee at home!
It's a good thing I don't drink coffee. I do like steamed milk with vanilla though.
I always get a grande moccha java frappucino(sp?) before I leave on trips from JFK. It's just a yummy, caffeine-laden milkshake with whipped cream on top.
But nothing beats the 2 cappuccinos I get at the airport before leaving Rome. Italians sure know how to make a great coffee!
In Canada - Two Words - Tim Hortons. Coffee is served by older, hair-netted bovine beauties instead of the pole-up-me-bum staff at Starbucks.
Saur,
I don't drink coffee but I hate Starbucks. I also hate Capogna's Dugout. Sometimes I get mad at the service at Steak & Shake but I love shakes.
I like their name. And the idea of building franchises into Barnes & Noble--genius. (Topped only by this public library's version of the same thing.)
ah, the economy must be on the upswing. i heard some economist on npr say that when starbucks service goes down, that's because all the talented barristas are getting better jobs elsewhere.
I hate the place too. Like the employees think they are better than you becuase they work at a coffee shop that sells fancy-shmancy coffees. Hello- you are a coffee shop worker. Bottom of the totem poll. I just dont go there. ever.
Fortunately for us, we have a very good home grown alternative with Caribou Coffee....they outdo Starbucks at their own game
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