Thursday, December 18, 2014

Happy Holidays!

I stood in line behind a woman at The Dollar Tree. The girl who was ringing her up finished, and said "Happy Holidays!"  "Merry CHRISTMAS," snarled the woman in the true spirit of Christmas. "Er, Merry Christmas," the salesgirl agreed.

I know it's trendy to denounce "Happy Holidays" but I love saying it, even though I celebrate Christmas. Why? Because I have dear friends who also celebrate Hannukah. In fact, right now it's more appropriate to wish everyone a Happy Hannukah because it's currently happening, and goes through December 24th. Christmas doesn't happen until AFTER that.

I understand the "Keep Christ in Christmas" mantra and I completely agree. But this is not Santa vs. Christ, it's Christmas vs. all the other celebrations that happen this time of year and I think it's perfectly fair to say "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" to all of you!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Dash it All

Then there's my colleague who called La-a and asked hesitantly "Is La Ah there?" The mother said "Yes, but her name is Ladasha. The dash isn't silent." 

I can't make this stuff up.

Add This to Reasons to Pick up Coffee on the Way Into Work

Yesterday I walked into the break room to see our beautiful young secretary angrily mopping the counter and muttering to herself. "What's up, hon?" I asked.
"People are SUCH SLOBS," she growled. "Some idiot made coffee and took out the pot and let it spill all over the counter and the floor, too." "That's awful," I agreed, as I reached for a coffee cup. She then bent over and wiped up the floor before she stood up once more and began to wipe down the coffee pots with the same rag.
I think I'll pick up Starbucks on my way in from now on.

Zoolander: Eat Your Heart Out

The guy who answered the phone snapped "We're not interested." "Whoa, whoa," I said. "You don't even know what I'm calling about! I'm not a telmarketer!"
"Modeling and acting, right?" the guy answered. "Er, yes," I said, startled. "We don't want it," he said and hung up.
Finally someone who really understands our subtle plans for world domination one runway model at a time.