Recently Megan Meier, a disturbed girl in Missouri, killed herself after a situation of 'cyber bullying' that occurred in
MySpace.
I do have a profile in MySpace, but I do not believe that children should be allowed to have one. Overall, children are immature (no matter
how mature they may seem to be at times) and they are not well-equipped to deal with life on such a large scale.
A friend of mine was very concerned about his 12 year old daughter spending time on MySpace. One day when she had spent some time on MySpace, he went in afterwards and found some things that shocked and surprised him. He came to me about the situation, and asked me to tell him how to set up a fake account to monitor her (as her profile was closed to adults). He had heard that sexual predators did this, and he wanted to prove to her that it was a dangerous environment.
So I told my friend how to set up the account. He posed as a boy only a couple of years older, and was extremely careful about what he said: In fact, he said very little. But what he sent to her were the standard surveys that kids like to send each other asking innocent questions (such as "what's your favorite food?") along with not-so-innocent ones (such as "are your parents still married?" and "where do you sleep?")
Over a matter of months, she inadvertently revealed that she was 12, that she had her own room without a telephone in it, that she was often at home by herself, that her parents were divorced, who was in her family unit, what school she went to, and what her first name was. She also had pictures of herself posted. At one point, another child revealed her last name in a public post.
Eventually, when he had enough information to give him a stroke, all hell broke loose and she was confronted by the evidence. As a result, she has behaved more decorously on the internet, but due to her mom's intervention, she has not removed her profile altogether.
Obviously MySpace presents a great deal of dangers to children.
Megan Meier is a classic case of how things can go wrong without proper parenting and supervision. If her parents had been on top of the situation, they would have known what was going on before it was too late.
Most of you know what happened.
Apparently Megan had a friend who quickly became an enemy. This friend (in conjunction with another friend and possibly her mother) created a MySpace account posing as a boy. She flirted with Megan and became her 'cyber boyfriend'. After a couple months of that, she turned on Megan and began harassing her and encouraging other friends to do so, too.
Megan hung herself one day.
Although my heart goes out to her parents, and the situation is indeed tragic and the result of malicious intent, it is ultimately
Megan who made the decision to kill herself when
other children in similar circumstances have not made such a choice.
Megan's parents admitted that she was mentally ill. And, it is also obvious that they weren't monitoring her properly.
However, suddenly free speech is being blamed for Megan's suicide.
I am very concerned.
I will grant you that the internet makes free speech a little more than a simple conversation at the drug store: On the internet you can be nameless and faceless. Many of us are very grateful for that, as we would not be able to speak frankly on a wide variety of issues without that protection. We have become a politically correct nation, where your beliefs and views can damn you utterly, even though we technically prize free speech.
But now, Missouri lawmakers have passed a law in a knee-jerk reaction to Megan's suicide. It's an anti-cyber harassment law, which sounds good on paper and looks good at election time. But how do you define harassment?
And, is it necessary?
After all, most of us hardier and older adults grew up before it was politically incorrect to make fun of fat kids, nerds, unpopular kids, and handicapped kids. Those of us who can spell are most likely the ones that were a target for bullying and teasing at one time or another.
*I* certainly was!
But we cried about it, we ranted about it, we were angry about it, and
we learned to deal with it. We are now taking away that possibility from our young people, who are bound to face such things at some point in life. Do we really want to raise a nation of pansies who are ill-equipped to live in the Big World?
And, on a bigger scale, do we really wish to begin to make rules about what can be said and should not be said on the internet?
There is an additional legal concern rising from this case, which is discussed
here. The author points out that MySpace's prosecution of the bullying mom in Missouri could also put most of
us in jail if it's succesful.
This case bears watching. And unlike the lawmakers in Missouri, we need to think this over very carefully as any decisions made will affect each of us on a much larger scale than these small-minded legislators and prosecutors can imagine.