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Wednesday, April 03, 2019

Adventures with The Sprinkler Guy

Two years ago, my sprinkler system kicked the bucket. In Florida, it's really mandatory to have a functional sprinkler. So naturally, I called the sprinkler repair guy.

He came out, told me what repairs needed to be made, and told me that one of the valves was very dicey and could explode at any time. Exploding valves are not on my list of Fun Things to Consider and as his schedule was booked for months, he simply turned the water off to the entire sprinkler system.

Time went by, and I forgot about the sprinkler guy.

But recently my brother, Seth, has been doing yard work and as he raked up oak tree leaves I was startled to realize that the only thing under those leaves in the back yard was dirt. Where had the grass gone? Oh yeah. I'd forgotten all about that sprinkler system.

So I called the sprinkler guy once more.

He came out today.

He walked around the property, turned the water back on, did an assessment and then called me out to chat about the logistics. I walked into the backyard, holding my little dog, Zach, so he wouldn't try to escape through the gate.

We stood near the valves as we talked about what had to be done, and he turned on the various zones and explained what was going wrong.

Suddenly, one of the valves exploded with the sound of a cork firing from a champagne bottle, the sound magnified ten times over.

In a split second I jumped, barged in one direction, clinging desperately to Zach so I wouldn't drop him and trample over him. The hapless sprinkler guy reached to help me, then I stumbled and reeled into the opposite direction, careening into a palm bush. I broke through the palm bush, staggered into the clearing, and stood there panting and disheveled.

Only Zach looked as if nothing had happened. He remained serene as I took stock of my scraped and bruised leg while the sprinkler guy anxiously asked if I was OK.

He was already quite bemused by my rather sarcastic sense of humor (and let's face it - what kind of weirdo forgets about her sprinkler system for almost two years)... and I think he couldn't quite figure out if I was insane or merely eccentric. Certainly my startling like a newborn colt and tearing into a nearby palm didn't help him.

He ended up apologizing profusely for what he had no control over.

Maybe he'll give me a discount.