Friday, February 22, 2008

Ask Me About My Monkey

Today I decided to go grocery shopping at Sweetbay, which is the newest supermarket chain to pop up in this market. I only had a couple of things to buy, so I quickly ended up at the cash register.

The girl who was waiting on me was a slender blond girl who was complaining to everyone that she was on a diet and her stomach hurt. When it was my turn to be rung up, I cast about for a different conversational topic and was startled to find that she was wearing a pin above her right breast that read "Ask me about my monkey."

I did a double take! Yup, sure enough: That's what it said.

"Er, your pin says to... ask you about your monkey...?" I said hesitantly.

"Oh yeah, that," she said in the latest perky Popular Girl accent (which always sounds vaguely nasal to me). "Ya know, I've been getting a lot of funny looks about this pin! I guess it does sound rather salacious."

Yup, she said salacious: I was surprised! Give the girl some brownie points for using the word and a bonus for knowing what it meant!

"We all have to say something for that badge," she continued.

I looked a little more carefully and could see that the badge was a pre-printed one which has "Ask me about" printed above, and then you have to fill in the blank below with something you like to talk about. Since all of the writing on the badge is mechanically printed, I am guessing they must do it using a printer in the back office. I'm sure this is management's attempt to make the experience a little more personal.

"OK," I said. "And... your monkey?"

"Oh, I have a ring-tailed lemur," she answered. "Now of course I realize that I should've had them put "Ask me about my pet monkey." Oh well." She shrugged a little bashfully.

And I wondered what sort of manager would let a young blond girl leave his office with a tag like that.

A salacious one, I'll bet.


krok34 said...


I was in there last week and this young Indian girl was wearing a badge that read "Ask me about my beaver". I didn't because I was irritated that I had accidently picked up organic bananas.

daveawayfromhome said...

somebodies either not paying attention, or trying to get intot he pants of his female staff.

Anonymous said...

I bet the manager will let you pet his monkey.


The Lazy Iguana said...

I would look for the hot chick working at the store with the "ask me about my beaver" pin.

I do not want a pet that can throw poop at me.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

okay. You have one that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Old coots are exempt.

R2K said...

Touch my monkey!

United We Lay said...

I probably would have let the monkey thing go, too, but as an English teacher, I'm glad that she has a good vocabulary to say the least.

Saur♥Kraut said...

UWL, Yes, I was quite impressed - she was actually much smarter than I would have initially assumed. Perhaps Florida public schools aren't creating complete idiots... but then, who knows? She might've been private schooled or homeschooled, which would account for the vocabulary.

r2k, ;o)

3 Score & 10, I cannot imagine what kind of man would attempt to strike up a conversation based on that badge...

Lazy, *LOL* Especially one that has to be perpetually in diapers and bites.

Edge, I bet he would!

Daveawayfromhome, yes.

Krok, *LOL*