Dancing Away from Good Taste

I have a friend whose stepdaughter attends the Expressions Academy of Dance in the small suburb of Seminole in the Tampa Bay area. She has been disturbed for a while, because for two recitals in a row they have had the older girls do a dance routine out of the Broadway play "Chicago", which is hardly suitable material for young girls.

The last two times they had a recital, the girls dressed like sluts and danced very suggestively. The first year, the tableau was in a jail cell, where they danced to a number about the different ways they had murdered the men in their lives. They did this while performing a campy dance number which included spreading their legs apart a great deal. I actually attended that one, myself, and can attest to this from first-hand experience.

The second time, they sang about how expendable boys were, and that they were only to be used and thrown away. This was again accompanied by dress that would make a hooker blush. There were a couple additional routines that were just a boy short of a Paris Hilton sex tape.

Today my friend called me, quite angry, to tell me that she tried to talk to the owner. My friend (let's call her Samantha) is known to be very straightforward. That can sometimes be taken as rude, but anyone who is intelligent can tell the difference. Sam doesn't swear, she doesn't try to pick fights, but she does want answers and she digs for them. She holds a juris doctorate and she's no dummy.

Sam called Lara, the owner, to ask her if there was going to be another offensive number this year. She was blunt enough to even state that she found it offensive during the last two years. At this, Lara bridled and told her that she wasn't going to discuss any upcoming routines.

Sam persisted in trying to get an answer. As she told me later, if the material was offensive again, only her husband would go (to show support of his daughter). If the material wasn't offensive this year, the entire family could go. That includes Sam, her husband, their two sons, and her mother.

Lara told Sam that they repeatedly got rave reviews for those particular routines, and again stated to Sam that she wouldn't tell her the details and wouldn't tell her what was going to be on stage this year. Finally, as Sam persisted, Lara hung up on her.

Sam then called one of the main sponsors of the dance studio, in hopes of getting an answer. As she told me later, she figured that a sponsor was tacitly sanctioning the material and might be close enough to know what was on the programme. The sponsor started out a little friendlier, but ultimately refused to help Sam pursue the matter any further, telling her that if Lara refused to help Sam and her family, then she would too.

Upon a little investigation, I found out why the sponsor was so defensive of Lara. This 'sponsor' is actually an employee of Lara's.

Sam had called both anonymously, as she was afraid of getting her stepdaughter into any trouble. As Sam says, their family has classic morals and they're born-again Christians, and most people find such beliefs to be more offensive than a proctologist at a hemorrhoid convention. Sam now tells me that she is exceedingly glad she stayed anonymous.

But Sam is in a quandary: What should she do?

I told her that I think it's time for Sam's husband to talk to his ex-wife about the 'quality' of this dance studio, when there are so many dance studios they can choose from! But Sam's husband doesn't want to rock the boat.

So, I see no way out of the situation and I happen to agree with Sam. Why should she expose her entire family to such garbage?

As for the owners of the Expressions Academy of Dance, they should be ashamed of themselves. This is exactly the sort of thing that encourages child exploitation.

Has no one there heard of JonBenet Ramsey?

The Messages Our Kids Receive

Paris Hilton checks into jail today, and deservedly so. I only wish that she would stay there, because she is, apparently, a role model for our daughters. Ah, what a role model: A walking petri dish in designer fashions.

I am not perfect, and never claimed to be. I am not always a good role model for my child. However, I am also brutally honest with him about it, and do my best to admit to my shortcomings. I hate the parents who pass on the message "Do as I say, not as I do," and yet I am occasionally guilty of it myself. Still, I try to live a life that is an example. But these PopTarts do not care about you OR your children, and do not feel the need to behave themselves in order to be a positive influence on the next generation.

It is sad to say that our childrens' true role models are vacuous, self-indulgent creatures like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. This fact was recently disclosed in a study, which also informed us that girls as young as first graders are carrying about purses with stuffed dogs in emulation of Paris.

THIS is why we need to be concerned about the Hollywood elitists.

It is very easy to lean back and speak disdainfully of such showy airheads. "Oh Britney and Paris! I won't give them the time of day," you might sneer. But... your kids certainly DO. The older ones snap up magazines with articles about them, and the younger ones roleplay.

What can be done about it?

Well, firstly it is obvious that only a poor excuse for a parent would allow their first grader to prance about, sporting Paris-like gear. When a parent is this egregiously stupid, it's rather difficult to reason with them. But a caring friend might point out to such a parent that surely THEIR children cannot possibly hope to grow up to acquire Paris' wealth and money, or Britney's talented stageparents who rocketed her to fame. This means that little Megan will develop her idol's lack of morals and laissez-faire attitude without the funds or means to back up or excuse her woeful behavior. From society's viewpoint, you can get away with much as long as you have beauty and money. It is very unlikely that Megan will inherit both or perhaps either, and thus she will find herself in a losing situation.

What Megan will inherit, instead, is a lack of morality that will contribute to her continued failure in life. She will not be a good team player, she will be focused solely on herself. When her aging parents, friends or family members need help, Megan will be too busy pursuing her next self-indulgent obsession.

Since Megan's examples choose themselves over others (even their own children) she will be a lonely young woman, putting herself both first AND second with everyone else a distant third. She has no reason NOT to do so, because she has never been taught that such characters are despicable. Because of this, she will also be a failure in the workplace.

Megan may get pregnant at an early age with such sexualized examples. She may choose to have an abortion or she may not: Either choice is a dangerous one for a young girl to make, and can be a psychologically scarring experience. Megan may also become a walking petri dish, herself, full of sexually transmitted disease or the possibility of them.

What can a caring parent do? For one thing, turn off the TV. Give up such paparazzi shows as Entertainment Tonight. When YOU re-prioritize, so will your children.

Parents also need to communicate. When you see such creatures as Paris or Britney, tell your kids what is wrong with their lifestyle, although you should do it carefully. While it might be tempting to completely damn them, you don't wish to alienate your children if they have already mistakenly chosen such women to be their role models

Instead, say things that invite participation and make your kids think, such as "Yes, Britney is very pretty, isn't she? What if someone isn't as pretty as Britney? Could she behave the same way? Is it bad to be only average or even ugly? How should Britney behave? Is it right to get into cars, deliberately flashing your privates in order to get attention? Is it right to neglect your children so that you can go out and get drunk and party? How do you think her children feel? What could her parents be thinking: Are they sad? Happy?"

Reasoning and communication are our only weapons in the battle for our childrens' lives. That, and the OFF button on our TVs.