Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Interviews From Hell Part 2

(This is a relatively short post)

The other interview I recently suffered through was with a man who was looking for someone to head up his fundraising division. I could go on and on about this interview forever, but suffice it to say that I realized I wasn't interested when:

1. The interview took place in a condo, which was supposedly a "temporary" office.

2. He informed me that the two offices they had been in previously had been summarily closed when the landlord went belly-up (both times) and they were evicted (both times) and as a result their credit was now frozen by the bank. Go figure that one out: I know a pile of crap when I smell it.

3. I know accents better than most, having been raised by multi-lingual parents. This guy had a thick African accent (Johannesburg area) and when I asked him where he was from, he said "New York".

I said "No, I mean originally." He informed me that he was born in Brooklyn, and the accent was oh yeah, Jamaican.

I guess I look like a dumb white woman.

4. They were supposedly text book publishers. I looked up their books on Amazon and they were nowhere to be found. They're self-publishing, and the books look craptastic.

5. He told me that the IRS had called them and asked them why they weren't doing more fundraising. Oh yeah, that was believable. The IRS just oozes with brotherly love and is concerned about each and every one of us. The last time I had an IRS cheerleader call me was... never.

6. We got into a prolonged argument, with this African guy telling me that fundraising, public relations, marketing and selling weren't at all related. He also told me that he was an expert on this subject, as he taught Marketing at the University of California in the 1980s. If so, there are some very dazed and confused MacDonald's employees out there who gave up all hopes of breaking into the marketing field: Would you like fries with that?

7. He proudly showed me a Power Point presentation someone had cooked up which could be accessed on their site. It was very simplistic, but he told me with all solemnity that it should be ready within two weeks. Two weeks? For a Power Point presentation? At least he didn't have high expectations!

Obviously the guy was a few Fruit Loops short of a bowl. I got outta there as quickly as I could extricate myself.

So what was the gig?

I'm not sure, but they were obviously doing something illegal. He had told me that he and his "colleague" travel the world quite a bit, he's from Africa (and denying it), so my guess is that it's a smuggling operation of some type and they want a legit person as their front man.

Count me out.


The Lazy Iguana said...

Have you tried Real jobs are posted there you know.

Where are you finding these job leads at? Craigslist?

You really need to start smuggling a video camera in with you. These posts really need to be video posts.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Lazy, You know, you have a point. Video would be entertaining at the very least. Maybe a concealed camera in a pin worn on my lapel?

I've tried USAJOBS, WorkNet, Career Builder, Monster, the local paper, Craig's List (briefly - only wackos), The Ladders, and more. :P

The Lazy Iguana said...

I got something cooking up now. I just have to see what OPM says.

If OPM sends my name off to the job posting I put in for - I know the people working in the office already.

This always helps :)

Uncle Joe said...

no kidding.
you could work for Dateline or something.
good buck$$$$$$$$

The Doozie said...

They are NOT smuggling books with pages made of crack. However, they DO get up early in the morning to read the Bible and sew patches on jeans for the poor. In their free time, they read books to kindergarten classes and later on volunteer at the local soup kitchen as personal moist toilette applicators.

They support world peace, and usually check for Microsoft Power Point updates every 3 hours. They were recently shocked and horrified when their "Boss's" 10 year old daughter was gunned down in the drug district on "Annual Take Your Daughter to Work Day".

I have a pulse on them..totally

The Lazy Iguana said...

And the book read to the kindergarten class is probably about a happy goat....

Mr. Grey Ghost said...

"few Fruit Loops short of a bowl"

- lol!