Monday, October 12, 2009

Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth

I would love to keep this post up, but my attorney has advised me to remove it (at least for now). Thank you again for all your support in this matter.


Ed said...

My heart goes out to you Saur.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

It's odd, you've not been over at mine in an age and neither I at yours and then I come over and read that terrible post.

Terrible because your son and in turn his father are behaving in a disgusting way, a way that reflects so badly on them.

You are best washing your hands of the pair for a spell and hope that the boy comes to his senses and realises that such crimes as he is commiting against you cause only pain to the woman that brought him into the world.

Thoughts are with you.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Ed, Thank you.

Daniel, I am so appreciative of your kind words of comfort, my friend. I am taking your advice. And please give Eva my love and save some for yourself.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

I have six wonderful kids. One of my daughter's left our home at sixteen, and one son at eighteen (I helped him find a place, it seemed better than killing him.) We are all good friends and they are good kids, but it took awhile.

Do try to keep out of the hand of Defac. What you say about them in Florida is true (My daughter who now believes in what goes around comes around) had a terrible experience with them.

Angela said...

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am positive that given some time your son will come around, you have spent 16 years raising him, that will overcome the hormones and bad influence of his father.


Kathleen said...

Saur, no matter how it hurts, you have done the best thing. I believe that he will eventually return as a more humble and respectful son. Going at it now could be the worst move. Sometimes people need to steep awhile before the light comes on. As for the father, I strongly suggest you stay as far from him as possible.

krok07 said...

Saur, I knew this would happen. You brought it all on yourself.

Go Gators.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Krok, You are such a pain in the butt. Thanks for the laugh. ;o) Nice to know you're still lurking, you old stalker.

Kathleen, Thank you. Although I had dropped off my son all weekend, the first I heard from his father was on Monday after he received my reply in a letter he had to sign for. Then he was all imperious, demanding "Call me ASAP!" Thanks, no.

Ange, I wish I could be as certain, but there's nothing I can do but hope. Thanks for the encouragement, hon.

3 Score & 10, I didn't know your family had been through it too. Thanks for the validation - the horror stories are plentiful. I even "met" one of the investigators in a car accident and she lied through her teeth, which certainly did nothing to alleviate my impression of Defac.

Jungle Mom said...

Oh my dear! I feel your pain and will pray for you, your son and his father.
This may be one of those difficult times when the best one can do is to walk away and let time teach your son what he needs to learn.
At all costs, try to avoid the child care services becoming involved. But I know your heart must be hurting intolerably!

Eshuneutics said...

Hi, Saur, this sounds like something from an episode of "Desperate Housewives". Of course, it is not, and I do not suggest that this is in anyway funny. The fact that it sounds like a fiction shows, to me, how far the real world has gone beyond common sense. The rights of the child are important, but society has strengthened them to a point where the rights of parents have become eroded. I have just been reading new inspection legislation for UK schools: pupils are being invited to criticise teachers, methods have to be in place to allow children to have "grievance procedures" against teachers. I can see what floodgates this will open...your floodgates. It is wrong that a child can say anything and be believed and a parent is assumed to be in the wrong. It is, as you suggest, guilty until proven innocent. I send supportive best wishes to you.
Unfortunately, Jungle Mum is right: all you can do, as a parent, is walk away...though that goes against a mother's wish to nurture and to experience justice.

daveawayfromhome said...

"all you can do, as a parent, is walk away"

... and hope the lessons you tried to instill stick.
Maybe if he's threatening you, and mimicking his dad, then he needs to go and live with his dad. It'll be bad for him short term, and maybe long term, too, but at this point I dont know if there's much else you can do for him, short of putting him in a barrel (and that's really a short-term solution also).
People argue about nature vs. nurture, but I think that both apply and that there's a time when both parts are taken by hormones and jumbled up like a kid was a paint-can shaker.
Right now Saurkid is shaking. Ever see one of those machines in action? It'll break your hand if you're not careful.
This has got to be a painful, awful time for you, and I wish I could give you a clever answer to make it all better, but I cant. Hopefully, when the machine stops, you'll have a nice summer green, rather than a baby-poop yellow.

Just hold together, and be there if he comes to his senses.

Uncle Joe said...

hide a camera in your house.
or digital recorder.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Uncle Joe, I'd have to have one in every room, and in my car, and everywhere we go. Anyway, there's a law prohibiting taping someone w/o their knowledge. Well, that is tape recording someone. I don't know if videotaping falls under the same law. But it's just not practical (I think?)

Dave, Good analogy and thank you. One of my girlfriends said of my ex: "He made the monster, now let it eat him." I'm just hoping this is a temporary aberration and not a permanent one. I have faith that my son's sense of right and wrong will eventually win through.

Esh, So good to hear from you, my friend. The UK is more liberal than the USA (often) but we are facing the same rot in our own schools here. It's frightening, really.

Jungle Mom, Thank you. Your prayers mean a great deal to me.

daveawayfromhome said...

He's trying to be an adult, and, for most of history, at 16 he would be one, too, except in the last 100 years or so. And the problem with being an adult is that you have to live with your decisions. He is choosing to grow up, so now it's time for him to pay for his own mistakes. It'll be hard to watch. Hopefully he'll come out in one piece. Maybe this is why people used to have lots of kids (other than birth control, of course), because then they wouldnt be so devastated when a kid failed to be decent a grown up.

This is probably not helping, huh? If it makes you feel any better, I've got a thirteen year old who, I can tell, is going to be trouble soon. Hopefully I've built her on stone rather than sand, but I wont know for another decade, probably. Waiting sucks.

Gary Baker said...

Madame Kraut,

In my fervor at the other post, I have neglected adding my best wishes. I have been greatly blessed in my own marriage and children, but have many family and friends with similar stories. I can offer you nothing but prayers and my hopes that things improve soon.

mckay said...

hey, saur
i didn't get to read the post, but i can tell from the comments that you're going through some tough times. i kind of see this as my possible future with my (now little 7 yr old) son and my ex. just pray for your son every day and keep yourself happy and healthy. sure wish we lived on the same coast - it'd be fun to have a girl's night out :0)