Friday, June 05, 2009

What I've (Re)Learned This Week

1. Summer = Sunburn.

I was out of commission on Wednesday (when I usually post) due to a severe sunburn. I hadn't realized how much my eye surgeries had kept me isolated and I hadn't been in the sun that much over the last couple of months.

I learned my lesson and can strongly recommend some stuff we always call "Blue Goo". It's a hard-to-find product by South Beach Sun but it's the most effective treatment I've found. It really helps diminish peeling.

2. Dogs Like Trash.

No matter how civilized you think your dogs are, they are waiting for an opportunity to root through your trash like mangy dingoes.

After we had a nice dinner of a chef's salad and boiled artichokes last night, I threw the shrapnel from the artichokes in the trash. I never in a million years thought my dogs would revel in discarded artichoke leaves and I came across them, looking guilty, with the trash on the floor and artichoke leaves hanging from their mouths.

Everyone went into lockdown and I became the Prison Warden.

3. Teenagers Love Sleep.

Waking up my kid is like trying to raise the dead. This is the kid that used to be up at the crack of dawn, peeling back my eyelids and staring into my pupils for any sign of life. I never thought I'd miss those years, but I am now chained to a Sasquatch that I cannot roust out of bed.

4. When You Stop Looking, You Find It.

This is a horrifically annoying phenomenon. It applies to missing thoughts, keys, and important paperwork. You are at the mercy of the universe, and must either wait for magical intervention or the help of someone with a better attuned GPS system than your own.

I am one of those odd people that can never find anything when I'm looking for it. My dad is the same way. When we were children, Dad could open the refrigerator, stare at the gallon of milk on the shelf, and finally irritably call out to my Mom "Hon? I think we're out of milk!"

I take after my father.


Angela said...

I got quite the sunburn last weekend as well, so I can commiserate with you.

My dogs still like the garbage no matter what, so it is always placed facing the cabinets so the little mongrels can't get into it.

I am the person that finds everything in my house, I am very good at remembering where I put things and of course finding them when my husband loses them. He has gotten to the point where he expects me to find his lost items for him. Some days I like to just sit around and watch him get angry though. :-)


Paul Nichols said...

Dogs and trash; teenagers and morning beds. Nature's way of driving us nuts.

Pray that your eyesight gets 100% normal. Or at least extremely average.

Ed Abbey said...

I find something that I've misplaced by buying a new one. Works everytime!

michelle said...

Yep, teenagers know how to sleep. Ours just turned 16. PRAY

The Lazy Iguana said...

1. BULLFROG! You can find it at this place called "almost anywhere". I get my supply from Publix - which I am sure there are none of in your area. The "surfer formula gel" is the shit. Fully boat tested by myself. It has also been Yamaha Waverunner tested.

2. This is why I have cats. Cats are smart enough to know they do not like green stuff.

3. The secret to waking up people is ice water. Yank off the covers, apply ice water, and that is all it takes. 15 seconds max.

4. So by your theory what everyone needs to do is just stop looking for work? Interesting......

Saur♥Kraut said...

Lazy, YES!!! I stopped looking for work (due to my eyes) and was given a great job offer yesterday - which I took!

As for the rest of your comments: Duly noted. I used to use Bullfrog a lot (I was a champion sandcastle builder) but it's rather expensive, isn't it? The other company used to sponsor our sandcastles so I got used to using it and really like the product.

Michelle, Yeah, mine's about to. *groan*

Ed, That's my method too, and as a result, the local charities really profit from it.

Paul, Yeah - they say insanity's hereditary. You get it from your kids. Thanks for the prayers!

Ange, I had no idea you'd gotten married! When was this?!

Fred said...

No sun for me. Even when I go to Hawaii, I hang out under the nearest thatched roof covereing. With a purple, blue, or orange drink, of course.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Fred, Partial to the color or the contents? ;o)

Fred said...

Contents, of course. Sorry for the typo up there.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

I think Ed has the solution with this corrolary. As soon as you buy the new one, you find the old one so you end up living in multiples. ( I have been known to be unable to find either of the two I have, so I buy another and end up with three.) Congratulations on the job.