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Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Idiotnapping

There's a weird new service for rich Frenchmen who are jaded with the everyday thrills. It is no longer enough to take the chance of becoming another Sonny Bono (death by skiing) or a John Denver (death by plane).

No!

They now have the option to pay to be kidnapped.

Perhaps the Mexicans who are kidnapping Americans* just over the border and holding them for ransom have got it all wrong. They merely need to run an ad in the wealthiest parts of America:

Are you bored with your daily routine? Is paragliding or swimming with sharks no longer enough for you? Well, have we got the solution for you!

We guarantee a kidnapping by one (1) Mexican gang, run by at least one (1) certified drug lord. This kidnapping will involve a minimum of two (2) semi-automatic rifles, assorted handguns, and some showy "grenades" which will add to the thrill of it all as we grab you off Wall Street and transport you to a sunny bordertown in Mexico.


But that's just the beginning! Thrill to see what your loved ones will do for your release. Will your wife put up that $5 million? Will your parents appear on CNN, tearfully pleading for your safe return?


Call 1-800-IDIOT-NAP today!


Seriously: How exciting can it be to sign up for your own kidnapping? How can you get worked up about it when you already have your exit strategy planned? These morons can sign up for a helicopter "rescue", for crying out loud.

As if we didn't already think the French were beyond freakish...

* (and their own wealthy citizens)

8 comments:

Kathleen said...

Very funny post. Thanks!

Gary Baker said...

Actually, this really doesn't bother me. Do I think it is silly? Absolutely. But as a freedom loving individual I am all in favor of people being able to do stupid things that don't affect other people's rights or cost them money. On the other hand, if Msr. Stupido gets killed in a helicopter rescue gone bad, and the relatives try to sue I don't think they should have a leg to stand on.

The basic setup kind of reminds me of the Michael Douglas / Sean Penn thriller "The Game." Except in this case they are designing the danger themselves and there is no chance for moral redemption. Yeah. Aside from that, they are very similar...

Hair Guru said...

Kathleen, ;o)

Gary, In America, this can be filed under "Shouting fire in a crowded theatre." This isn't something that falls under free speech because of the panic and other situations that could ensue.

Saur♥Kraut said...

You know, this is why I can't stand FireFox. My best friend, Pov, was signed in and I didn't realize it, so I jumped on and ended up commenting under his pseudonym (Hair Guru).

Uncle Joe said...

Strangely reminiscent of the movie The Game, with Michael Douglas.

The Lazy Iguana said...

Hell that is NOTHING compared to the crazy shit the Japanese are into!

For example, try to figure out this show. Go on - I dare you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clmgM0Dc__U

Drama Momma said...

yep, i thought of the movie THE GAME, too. i also don't understand a lot of things that turn people on, and they probably think i'm wacko for watching cooking shows on tv. to each his own.

mck.

...who's now Drama Momma over at OC Family magazine. i may start up a new personal blog, but for now i thought i'd let you know where i'm hanging out and posting stuff about Orange County, CA theater.

Uncle Joe said...

I want to be kidnapped by Playboy Bunnies...