Today I found a silly little article listing what the author thinks shouldn't be said on a first date. She says: Don't talk about being an ex-felon, your romantic past, wanting to have kids, don't use a silly pet name on your date, don't mention your pets, and don't talk about sexual experiences.
First of all, I always believe in being up-front about who I am, and I definately want my date to be up-front also. If we're all so busy not talking about ourselves, then we're setting ourselves up for wasted time when we eventually do get around to discovering that we're not compatible.
For instance, I certainly would appreciate a man immediately telling me if he's an ex-felon or that he wears women's underwear. Sorry, soooo sorry... not compatible. Thanks for your time, have a nice life.
However, I want to hear about everything else! What if he loves cats and I'm deathly allergic to them? Much depends on if he has 1 cat or 20. This is something I'd like to know right away.
What if he's been married 3 times? I'd like to be clued in on that. Granted, we all "live and learn" and grow along the way, but someone who's been married 3 times may be a little slow on the uptake. If I'm dealing with the Relationally Challenged, I want to know.
And as for me, I have habits and issues that simply won't go away. I crack my knuckles, I leave dishes in the sink overnight, I've got allergies, and I'm very spontaneous. These things aren't going to change, and everyone had better know that up front.
I believe in being diplomatically honest on that first date, so that there are no unpleasant surprises on the third.
Incidentally, one of my best friends is Dr. Paul. We've known each other for years, and he is in agreement with me, I'm sure. Pop on over to his site to say hello. He has a new blog here. Tell him that I sent you, and weigh in on his latest relationship post. He'd love to hear from you!
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11 comments:
A former coworker of mine, a member of the NRA, advised me that he avoids mentioning guns until at least the third date.
As for me, this hottie kept looking at me once while she was attending to her business and I was waiting to attend to mine.
It wasn't the right place to meet, however, given that we were in a court room and the judge had just yelled at me. Oh well.
AH HA! I knew I was doing something wrong. Don't mention your pets. That would probably include Max the Lizard huh? But Max is cool! He never makes any noise and does not need to be fed every day. He lives in the yard and so is stink free. How could anyone NOT think Max is cool?
...Or you could just have interview terror for seven weeks over internet before having the first date, so you already know everything that is to know before you even have met each other....
Then when finally meeting you are drawn to each other like magnets and never leaves each other for the rest of your life.
Like me and Mr Lifecruiser :-)
Saur,
You'd better be a sex machine if you're going to leave dishes in the sink overnight.
Excellent post.
Dr. phil?
Hi,
Loved this post what a unique way to define this!
"I always believe in being up-front about who I am"
I agree 200%.
Hate cats, never been convicted or married. (but may be relationally challenged).
So whats wrong with a guy ocasionally wearing womens underwear?
I though my third wife was spontaneous until two years later I found she had Tourettes.
just kidding
Great post, Saur, and the responses are a hoot. I have a question for the Lazy Iguana and a tip for Old Man Rich.
1. Is Max a REAL lizard? See, we don’t understand why you guys have to name that part of your anatomy.
2. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing ladies undies…as long as you’re wearing them on your head.
I agree. Tell me soon so I can stop wasting our time. I mean really? The last few girls I have dated had a few things that were red flags, but they weren't deal breakers. Honesty I can live with, phonies I cannot.
My rule for first date is never get my penis out and wave it in the air like I just don't care...
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