Is Chivalry Dead?

In another forum, there is a debate doing on about chivalry. The question is "Whatever happened to chivalry?" which presupposes it's death.

When I was a little girl, I used to bite my nails. One day, as I was gnawing away, my grandmother (who had grown tired of simply telling me to stop) said "Honey, I'm going to tell you a story:

One day, when you're all grown up, your prince will come. He will ride by on a fine white horse; handsome, strong, proud. He will see you and be smitten by you. He'll stop, leap off his horse, come up to you and fall on one knee..." (here my grandmother dramatically fell to one knee and took my hand in hers). "He'll say 'YOU are the one for me', and then he'll go to kiss your hand, take one look at those nails, and say 'Uh... never mind!' and ride away."

I continued to bite my nails with the secure knowledge that no such man existed. And, I liked biting my nails.

Chivalry originated in the medieval times, and was encourage by royalty because it instilled a code of ethics in potentially unruly courtiers and fellow royalty. Chivalry forced strict accountability to others and encouraged loyalty to the reigning powers. Simply put, it made sense and created civilization where little existed before.

Today, chivalry has evolved into what we call "manners". And, just as it was in the middle ages, those who practice good manners have a better chance at getting what they want, than those who choose to behave rudely.

Manners still belong in our society. Because women are now treated equally, we have equal responsibilities when it comes to societal manners. Although I do not expect men to open doors for me, I thank them when they do because that is polite on MY part. When I get out of a car, I wait a discreet amount of time to see if the man will open it for me. If he does, I thank him. If he doesn't, I do not take offense because this has become a "gray area" in our society and it is not the fault of the man if he does not participate in this archaic, but sweet, custom.

If I am walking down the street, I do not expect the man to stop me before I get to a puddle and, with a flourish, place his coat over the puddle so that I don't have to soil my dainty feet. I would also think he was daft if he wanted to drink champagne out of my slipper. Goodness knows, I don't want to drink anything from ANYone's footwear and unless you have a foot fetish, there is no need to.

Some "chivalrous" behaviors are still welcome, and are still in practice. Sending flowers, writing love notes and poems, and even serenades are wonderfully romantic and sweet. However, I believe that women should do the same: Why should the man do all the work?

And EVERYone should observe common courtesies. "Please" and "thank you" are never out of style. And if you're a woman and you see a man struggling with bags of groceries, it's time for YOU to open the door for HIM.

Chivalry is not dead, and we would be unwise to begin the eulogies just yet. Instead, we need to continue to encourage the little niceties that we do for each other: Simple thank-yous go a long way.

A man once told me that he opened the door for a woman who turned around and reamed him out for being "sexist". As my grandmother would have said, the woman had "poor breeding". Never the less, the man told me that he will still continue to open doors for others. THAT is the essence of true chivalry.