Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mothers Day

"To Dear Mom" from Saur, about age 5

I don't know what my earliest recollection of my mother was. Apparently here I was having early blond fantasies, because neither one of us is naturally blond.

My mother was always conservatively fashionable and extraordinarly beautiful. She turned heads although she didn't realize it for the most part. She still does, I'm sure, because she posesses great genetics and looks about 15 years younger than she is. The only thing which frustrated her was her black, naturally curly hair. Curls weren't "in" for most of her life, and she fought them.

During the history of her hair, Mom tried a relaxing perm made for black women in the 70s. Unfortunately, her hair is caucasian and the perm damaged it a great deal. Hairdressers weren't that good then (neither were their products) and no one else had any other ideas.

Mom tried roller sets to tame it, with little luck. When blow dryers came around, she would try blowing the curls out of it (with her hairdresser's encouragement). She would end up with large, fluffy mounds which she tamed into leonine hairdos.

Mom's finally resigned to her hair (which I always envied). People assume she perms it, which she thinks is pretty funny.

Mom is the most complex, complicated person I've ever known. She shares that in common with her own mother (which she might not like to hear). I believe she'd admit that part of her life has been spent in the arduous attempt to be unlike her mother as much as possible. They shared a difficult relationship, and I know it was hard on Mom at times.

Her mother was a "clutterbug" (this horrible trait apparently skips a generation, I have to admit). Mom's house is as neat as a pin and very minimalist (I have no earthly idea how she does it). Her mother was a "social drinker" which Mom believed bordered on alcoholic. Mom's a teetotaller. Her mother was agnostic. Mom's a Christian Fundamentalist and her mother despised her for that for many years, until she finally became a born-again Christian months before she died.

Mom has a strength of will that surpasses anyone's. You can't say it's stubborn, because "stubborn" implies a wrong intent and most of the time Mom has the will to do the right thing, even when it would be infinitely easier to do the wrong one.

Mom is highly organized in all ways. Her mind and her checkbook are as organized as her house. She was the first woman I knew that carried an organizer with her, everywhere.

Mom has never stopped learning. She was intelligent when intelligent females weren't fashionable. She fought to get her college degree while raising me (with Dad's complete approval and encouragement). Through the years, she has learned Greek, Hebrew, and a smattering of Aramaic. She was already fluent in French. She studies the Bible like a fiend, and is familiar with all the commentaries and opinions of every theologian known to mankind. Although she has to fight her natural shyness, she is a famous speaker and writer in this field. People who think I'm brilliant in this area have never spoken with her. She leaves me in the dust.

Mom wouldn't let me play with Barbies because they send the message to girls that it's what you look like that counts. She wouldn't let me wear makeup before I was 15. She wouldn't let us watch more than an hour of TV a week, so I was forced to read and enrich my mind. She made us do book reports over the summer. She forced me to throw out something for everything I bought. She made us clean our rooms and clean our plates. She taught us about nutrition and insisted that we eat healthy. She dragged us on walks and through exercise. She insisted that I read Letitia Baldridge and Miss Manners so that I would shine in any social setting.

Because of Mom, I never "thought like a girl" and I have a work ethic and social skills that have caused me to be successful and stand out over my peers.

Thanks, Mom, for being a real mom and not simply my friend. You and Dad have made it possible for me to have a better life than I ever dreamed of. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!


KristieD said...

That was a lovely post. I said something similar to my mom about being a real mom and not simply a friend. I find that to be what i cherish most about my relationship with her. Sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with your mom.

Happy Mother's Day to You & your mom!

michelle said...

I have a Happy Valentines Muders Day card. It says "To my mom you r the best like son's name".

He also made me a purple flower with a yellow center out of a paper plate. I love it!

(Thanks for the Sweet N'Saur mother's day blog. I knew I wanted something different, but was clueless. That was a Mother's Day present to wake up an see it ALL done. Hope you have a great day!!)

Eddo said...

Wow. She sounds incredible. She needs to write a book, "How to be an AMAZING mom."

Happy Mother's Day Saur. Thanks for all the love...

Kathleen said...

This is the first Mother's Day in my life that I don't have my mother to fawn over. In July she will have been dead for a year.

My mother brought light to darkness and lived and loved well. To me and all her children she was priceless.

For those of you who still have your mothers around, I envy you.

Happy Mother's Day Saur.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Very lovely thoughts for your mother (and father) today.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Saur!

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Nice drawing Saur!

My mother's hair is red and very curly. She likes to keep it short, but my dad liked it long, so she kept it longer than she wanted when I was growing up. She passed on the curls to me and my sisters, and told us never to straighten or perm our hair. My staightens up a bit when blown dry, but if I let it air-dry, people think it's been permed.

Anyway...Happy Mother's Day!

michelle said...

I just got back from our mother's day tradition. My two sisters and I (all mother's) take my mom and grandma out to lunch at Olive Garden. My grandma will be 87 in July and we are very appriciative that she is with us each year.

I hope everyone has an equally relaxing and fun tradition

mal said...

wow! great post. My Mom had the wisdom to let me find my own way rather than force me into her mold and I am grateful for it

Saur♥Kraut said...

Mallory, Your mom is wonderful, indeed. My mom tried to mold me for a while (with good intentions) but also encouraged me to do well in whatever I chose.

Michelle, how fun! I didn't realize one of your grandmas is still alive. I miss my grandparents constantly; all 4 were like extra parents to me and very close. Give the boys a hug from me! Glad you like the entry in your blog. ;o)

Notsocranky, curly hair can be a blessing! Mine is bone straight, fine and mousy if I don't bleach it!

Barbara, and to you, too! Great post in your blog, as well.

Kathleen, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't know. Happily, you have your kids and grandkids. *hugs*

Eddo, cuz you're easy to love! Give my love to your family today.

KristieD, I do. There were times I wished she'd let up on me more, but I'm glad of it now. ;o)

Reverberate58 said...

Wonderful posting. Your mom sounds like she has found the special keep it together dust. I sure could use some of it.

This has been a tough day. My mom died just before Mothers Day in 2001 and I miss her deeply. Reading all the wonderful postings has been such a blessing. Mom all moms are to be loved.

Happy Mother's Day to you and your mom.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Wow, that was a great post and a fantastic tribute to an obviously very special lady.

Happy Mother's Day to you both!

Senor Caiman said...


Happy Mother's Day.

You had very nice hair as a child.

Jayleigh said...

What an awesome tribute to your mom. She sounds simply amazing.

Ellen said...

What a wonderful tribute to your Mom, and I'm sure she is as proud of you as you are of her. Isn't it amazing that we need to grow up ourselves to realize what saints our Moms are? I lost my Mom over 27 years ago (when she was the age I am now) to a stroke.... there isn't a day that passes that I don't miss her.

I hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day. You have been a good friend and mother to us all.

Badoozie said...

ahhh, you are a sweet heart and i'm sure your mom is extremely proud of you!! I'm happy for you to have such a wonderful person raise you. happy mothers day to you too!!

R2K said...

So cute : )

Jamie Dawn said...

Your mother sounds amazing. I hope she had a wonderful Mom's Day, and I hope you did too!!
I am blessed with good, loving parents. I think that those who have this can never know what a true treasure having supportive parents is. We grew up with this blessing and have not lived without it.
Those who don't have this, desperately wish they did.
I am glad you were raised by an outstanding mother.
It truly did shape you into who you are today.
Thank God for great moms!

divine oasis said...

yes. yes. the duties of a wonderful mother affect their young so much. you were fortunate to grow up in a household with a mom like that.

ah. the cycle of life.

peace love and respect!

Miss Cellania said...

I've read tons of posts about mothers, and I'm surprised at how many are lame. Meaning mothers, not posts. You are lucky to have a great one (so am I).

Meow said...

Great post, thanks for sharing.
Hope you had a brilliant Mothers Day.
Take care, Meow

Grant said...

It looks like it says "To der mom", and we all know that "der" is German for "that", so the card actually reads "To that mom", meaning somebody other than you. I recommend a lengthy grounding for your cheeky kid. :p

Three Score and Ten or more said...

I envy you still having a mom to react to. My mom was about as opposite to yours as possible, and she was still a great mom. I'm glad that there is not an absolute rubric for great mom. You made me sniffle a little (real men don't bawl-- Yeah right)

Jenn said...

Your drawing is very cool... sort of a cross between Kandinsky and Klimt, or maybe Paul Klee.

Your mom sounds awesome.

Beaver said...

Grrrr I was posting a comment here last night when the 21th electricity cut abruptly ended my elegy to your talent. So here it is:

Thanks for the post. My mum and I had a falling out recently and being on the other side of the world made it difficult to take the appropriate steps to make up. Your post inspired me to call her up and we are now doing much better.

Thanks for all you do, oh great mother of the web, and happy mother's day! (though belated.)

Much love,