Happy Mothers Day

"To Dear Mom" from Saur, about age 5
I don't know what my earliest recollection of my mother was. Apparently here I was having early blond fantasies, because neither one of us is naturally blond.

My mother was always conservatively fashionable and extraordinarly beautiful. She turned heads although she didn't realize it for the most part. She still does, I'm sure, because she posesses great genetics and looks about 15 years younger than she is. The only thing which frustrated her was her black, naturally curly hair. Curls weren't "in" for most of her life, and she fought them.

During the history of her hair, Mom tried a relaxing perm made for black women in the 70s. Unfortunately, her hair is caucasian and the perm damaged it a great deal. Hairdressers weren't that good then (neither were their products) and no one else had any other ideas.

Mom tried roller sets to tame it, with little luck. When blow dryers came around, she would try blowing the curls out of it (with her hairdresser's encouragement). She would end up with large, fluffy mounds which she tamed into leonine hairdos.

Mom's finally resigned to her hair (which I always envied). People assume she perms it, which she thinks is pretty funny.

Mom is the most complex, complicated person I've ever known. She shares that in common with her own mother (which she might not like to hear). I believe she'd admit that part of her life has been spent in the arduous attempt to be unlike her mother as much as possible. They shared a difficult relationship, and I know it was hard on Mom at times.

Her mother was a "clutterbug" (this horrible trait apparently skips a generation, I have to admit). Mom's house is as neat as a pin and very minimalist (I have no earthly idea how she does it). Her mother was a "social drinker" which Mom believed bordered on alcoholic. Mom's a teetotaller. Her mother was agnostic. Mom's a Christian Fundamentalist and her mother despised her for that for many years, until she finally became a born-again Christian months before she died.

Mom has a strength of will that surpasses anyone's. You can't say it's stubborn, because "stubborn" implies a wrong intent and most of the time Mom has the will to do the right thing, even when it would be infinitely easier to do the wrong one.

Mom is highly organized in all ways. Her mind and her checkbook are as organized as her house. She was the first woman I knew that carried an organizer with her, everywhere.

Mom has never stopped learning. She was intelligent when intelligent females weren't fashionable. She fought to get her college degree while raising me (with Dad's complete approval and encouragement). Through the years, she has learned Greek, Hebrew, and a smattering of Aramaic. She was already fluent in French. She studies the Bible like a fiend, and is familiar with all the commentaries and opinions of every theologian known to mankind. Although she has to fight her natural shyness, she is a famous speaker and writer in this field. People who think I'm brilliant in this area have never spoken with her. She leaves me in the dust.

Mom wouldn't let me play with Barbies because they send the message to girls that it's what you look like that counts. She wouldn't let me wear makeup before I was 15. She wouldn't let us watch more than an hour of TV a week, so I was forced to read and enrich my mind. She made us do book reports over the summer. She forced me to throw out something for everything I bought. She made us clean our rooms and clean our plates. She taught us about nutrition and insisted that we eat healthy. She dragged us on walks and through exercise. She insisted that I read Letitia Baldridge and Miss Manners so that I would shine in any social setting.

Because of Mom, I never "thought like a girl" and I have a work ethic and social skills that have caused me to be successful and stand out over my peers.

Thanks, Mom, for being a real mom and not simply my friend. You and Dad have made it possible for me to have a better life than I ever dreamed of. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day!