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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Weird Massage Therapist

As you know, I had neck surgery almost a year ago. The doctor recently gave me the not-so-good news that I will always be in pain and will always need to treat it. Surgery helped, but the condition had been allowed to go too far due to continued medical misdiagnosis. So, I try to alleviate the pain through massage, over the counter pain medications, ice, and (rarely) muscle relaxants.

My neck has been bad lately due to a lot of rain these last couple of weeks. It makes me tired, and I am unable to socialize or spend time with anyone when it's like this. I have other health problems which combine with this to wear me out.

Yesterday, I decided to run down to a local massage group and get a chair massage. The therapists are usually pretty good even if it's not a full-blown massage.

The guy I got this time was a guy I'd never met before. He was odd to begin with. From his mannerisms, I had the initial impression that he was gay. However, he started dropping hints and flirting with me as he worked on my neck. Come to find out, he was married with three boys. I despise married men who flirt, and will usually never give them business if I can help it. I wouldn't want my husband to do it.

I need deep tissue work. So, as he was working on my neck, he would say things like "am I hurting you?" When I said no, he would say "Would you like me to?" and then laugh in a high pitched giggle. These S&M references continued throughout the whole session and included him saying "hurt me baby, hurt me," and "oh yeah, I love being able to do this for you!"

Oh sure, one could construe him as just being an especially enthusiastic masseuse but I'm not buying it. I'm expecting to see him in the paper one day, holding an axe, screaming "Heeeeere's Johnny!"

When the session was over, I thanked him politely, paid him, and beat a hasty retreat. As I left, he was mopping the sweat off his brow with a handkerchief. I have to admit, he really pours himself into his work! Of course, so did Ted Bundy.

17 comments:

Ed Abbey said...

Creepy. I don't think I could let someone else other than my wife massage me. I would just get too tense instead of relaxing.

FruitfulSpirit said...

I have yet been able to get a massage from a man. Of course I still can't deal with male doctors! And I really don't need idle chit chat while I am being massaged! Sounds very creepy to me! Eww!

Grant said...

I wonder if it would do any good to let his supervisor know how scary he is.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

Iiick!!

~Deb said...

Oooooweeeee.... TED BUNDY! This guy sounds way too turned on for a normal message therapy session. That would totally creep me out. Unt-uhhh... No happy endings!

The Lazy Iguana said...

Imagine that. Crazy / creepy people in Florida. I would never have guessed this was possible.

By the way, did you catch my squirrel story?

Badoozie said...

thats just sick. if a womans intuition tells her something is amiss, then it usually is. i'd have told him to shut his fat yap, unless he wanted me to shut if for him

Kathleen said...

EWWW! Nasty! The whole thing creeps me out. He should have paid you from the sounds of it! Handsomely I might add.

Sorry about the bad news about the neck. Hope you find something that works to calm it down.

Nihilistic said...

Ew!

notsocranky said...

What a creepy dude! Next time you go you should make it a point that you do not want that guy again.

Hope your neck feels better soon!

Saur♥Kraut said...

Nihilistic, yep. Icky poo.

Kathleen, Ice is still the best solution. And benadryl. That helps with the swelling. The muscle relaxants will work as a last resort, but I have to be almost crawling on the floor to take them. I hate being "out of it".

Susie, it was weird. Of course, I was wondering "is it me? Is he weird or am I just overreacting?" By the end of it, I figured out it was him.

Lazy Iguana, no! But I'll go over and check it out! I'm sorry I've been missing so much of your blog lately. It's worth the read, and I hate giving it up.

Deb, yeah. It made me want to take a shower afterwards. Bleah.

3 Score & 10, yeah! You said it.

Grant, I thought of it briefly. But I won't let his supervisor touch me because he's just as yucky. Usually there's a couple women there that are excellent, and I think I'll just stick to the women from now on.

Fruitful, I don't have probs with a guy working on me, because I see it as a professional thing (like a dr or nurse).

...more in a min...

Saur♥Kraut said...

Ed, as I told Fruitful, I don't have probs with a guy working on me, because I see it as a professional thing (like a dr or nurse). However, if I were happily married, I would definately prefer my spouse to give me a massage! ;o) How's the baby?

Saur♥Kraut said...

Notsocranky, yeah, I will avoid him at all costs. From now on, women (who've always been OK) will be all I'll see in that practice.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. I always end up analyzing married men who hit on me and sending them back to their wives. I could use the massage though. :o)

Ed Abbey said...

Little Abbey is doing great. A more lengthy update will be on my blog Friday.

Lucy Stern said...

It's too bad he didn't show more professionalism. He's going to lose many customers doing that kind of thing.

Freudian Slip said...

Ech! Tell his supervisor about this. I am really sorry to hear you had such a creepy experience, but if you don't speak up then others will have this happen as well. Creepy!
Kimberly