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Monday, April 16, 2007

Saur's Exclusive Peek at Anna Nicole Smith's Diaries!

In one of the greatest coups of journalism, I have been exclusively granted a peek at both of the Anna Nicole Smith diaries up for auction here. Some fascinating quotes include (as you will see): "Someone ran over my cat yesterday I was real sad", "Clay came over last nite to give me some sleeping pills", and "I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway".

However, there are entries that are NOT shown. I am about to share them with you now. Please: Do not ask me how I got these. I must protect my sources.

June 6, 1992

Dear Diary: I think MC Hammer is cute. Shh! Don't tell anybody! ...Guess what? I met this guy named Bill Clinton today. he is running for president! I hope he gets it. His wife sure is an awful sourpuss! she kept staring at my boobys. I wanted to ask her What? you can't aford plastic surgery? I told Bill that I always wanted to sing that Happy Birthday song to a president, just like Marilyn did for JFK. that wife of his REALLY looked pissed off, then! I don't get it? Maybe its cuz I got the cover of Playboy this year. lots of girls are pissed off about that.

August 22, 1994


Dear Diary: Last nite I tried a new sleeping pill. it was good! so I took 5 more. I couldn't sleep becuz I was very mad. I found out that I am on the cover of New york magazine with a picture of me squatting in a white cowboy skirt eating potato chips. the title is White Trash Nation! I am going to sue them! I NEVER really eat potato chips. It was just for the photo shoot! well - maybe I eat them sometimes. but I didn't look good in that skirt, either. hey! guess what? the president's birthday was a couple of days ago and I STILL didnt get called to come sing for him. Must be that wife of his. I never liked her. she reminds me of my third grade teacher - the one that was always trying to teach me to read and write and other stuff I never needed.

There are many more titilating entries like this. I recommend you check out the site so that you, too, can be privy to Anna Nicole's deepest and most scintillating thoughts.

14 comments:

Hans said...

I really don't "no" what to say.

mckay said...

this is exakly why i dohn't kep a diary.

just a blog'll do.

p.s. my date(s) went fab ;0)

Jenn said...

If CNN gets a hold of these secret entries, they will be the first to interrupt their current broadcast and report it.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I have my network of spies too, but I ordered them to ignore all this garbage and concentrate on things more important. Like "is corn a tracer food for dogs like it is for humans".

I hope the maximum offer for those diaries is no more than $1.

Jungle Mom said...

Hello from Venezuela. Found you through CMB. OT, I love the palm tree back gound, how can I get it?

The Lazy Iguana said...

Steal it!

It is fun and easy.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Lazy, oh hardee har hee har. :P And yeah, I hope the diaries don't sell at all.

Jungle Mom, Thanks so much! I'm glad you like it. However, it's my own design and it's copyrighted. I'm sorry... :o( But, there are lots of good places to find wallpaper. You shouldn't have a hard time finding it.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Jenn, Isn't that the truth?!

McKay, did it? I'll have to stop by and get the details. ;o)

Hans, apparently, neither did Anna Nicole. :D

NspiredByFaith said...

I stumbled across your blog from your comment on jungle mom. Let me just say, the Anna Nicole diary entries are just about as deep as I expected them to be! Thank you so much for sharing!I really enjoyed visiting your blog!

Ba Doozie said...

this is off topic, but I just read all the comments at Jamie Dawns about Imus, and it is really pissing me off. If I were to go into journalism, I'd be shot in one week. What fun is the world going to be when no one but sharpton and jackson are allowed ot be bigmouths? those antichrists

Lee Ann said...

Amazingly, I imagined it would be just like that!
Thanks for the insight Saur!

Miss Cellania said...

Those entries are hoot! From the looks of her handwriting, I don't doubt that's exactly the kind of thing written... with little smileys.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Miss C, she actually did use lots of smiley and frowny faces. She could've been Katie Couric!

Lee Ann, that's what I'm here for!

BaDoozie, ahh, but you're one of the rare ones with common sense. Don't judge others by your high standards. They can't measure up.

nspiredbyfaith, thanks for dropping by! It's been a pleasure to see you here! I like your blog, BTW.

green said...

sadly those diaries probably will sell for a lot of money...

one thing I have to say just by reading those two entries...

"the lights were on but nobody was home"

still, RIP Anna.