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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Hysterically Funny or Awkwardly Painful

Here in Tampa we have an enclave named Ybor City (it's not a true city - just a part of Tampa). At one time, it was crime-ridden and crawling with the scum of the earth (sorry, Madonna: I tell it like it is. OK, ok, I'm just kidding. Even Madonna wouldn't hang out there).

In an effort to clean up the area, Tampa offered great incentives to lure businesses in. It succeeded, and Ybor City became one of the hottest nightspots we had in the entire Tampa Bay Area (which includes roughly 8-10 cities).

Over 5 years ago, I had just started dating someone who wanted to take me out to Ybor on a particular Saturday night that I had my son with me. At first I told the guy that I couldn't do it, but he pointed out that we could go eat dinner there, visit the shops, and wander about before the nightclubs began to crank up.

So, I agreed; and took my son aside to tell him that we were going out to dinner and we would sightsee a little bit. Since this was at the height of the Goth movement, I warned him that there were people that he might see that could appear scary, but they weren't dangerous. "Look at it this way, baby," I said, "they're playing dress up. It's just like Halloween! So don't get scared." He agreed, and we left for a very nice dinner.

After our dinner, we wandered the streets a little, and decided to stop in a coffee shop for some dessert and coffee. It was both elegant and eclectic, with overstuffed sofas positioned to look out over the teeming masses. We selected our desserts and had just settled into one of the sofas by the front doors when the first Goths of the night strolled by. My son stood up on the sofa, and (excitedly pointing) hollered loud enough for everyone to hear, "Look, mommy! Just like Halloween!"

...We beat a hasty retreat...

Share some of your hysterical stories or awkward moments.

18 comments:

bananarama said...

Suar, funny! I was one of those moms that can't stand to cut her little boy's hair even though everyone kept at me to do it and told me that he looked like a girl. Once we were at the mall where there was a beauty contest and there were lines of people waiting to sign there daughters up and we were passing by. One of the dads thought he could flirt with me by talking to me about my kid I guess. Or maybe he was just trying to be helpful? So when we were walking by him he called out "Hey, YOU should register YOUR daughter. She's beautiful!" I was so embarrased. I couldn't say anything with everyone looking at me so I just kept on walking. And I took him to the salon that night to get his hair cut!

Anonymous said...

One time when my three kids were vary small, my oldest was 4, we were at one of those outside ice cream places. There was a mentally handicapped man at the counter with someone else getting his ice cream cone. I was waiting for a comment from my daughter but was so proud when she said, "Look Mommy, he likes chocolate just like me".

When my kids were small they loved listening to the Beach Boys. One day we were at the checkout line in the grocery store when my son broke out singing, "My little loose poops, you don't know what I like".

It's funny because it seems like as people get older they revert back to saying funny things. Here are a few of my mother-in-laws - acid reflex, stalk for stock, immaculant degeneration.

Ajay Shroff said...

That was cute..lol..one of friends had heard her dad use the F word when she was like 4 and when some guests came home and held her saying she was so cute, she said 'f*** off'..true story. I still tease her about it today.
Ajay
ajayshroff.blogspot.com

Saur♥Kraut said...

Anonymous,

Wonderful posting! I *LOL* at the revised Beach Boys song!!! I'm still chuckling. Which is awkward in an office environment.

Ajay,

That reminds me of the time I was cut off in traffic and said "d*mn!" Then, suddenly realizing my son was in the back seat, I added "Now don't say, that, baby. There are some words that aren't right to say and that's one of them."

"I know, mommy," he said nonchalantly, "words like 'sh*t'"

Ajay Shroff said...

Hi Saur, I would like to link your blog from mine. Do email me at ajshroff@rediffmail.com and let me know if its ok.
Thanks,
Ajay
ajayshroff.blogspot.com

Tabasamu said...

OK, Saur, here's my awkward moment.

I'm normally average height/ weight. But when I was 8-9 months pregnant...there I was in Kmart - waddling down the aisles. A little black boy (for those of you who don't know me-I'm black too) walked up to me and out of the blue he said "Yo sho' is FAT" and then bounced off to go mess with someone else.

I was left with a can of peaches in one hand... aiming to bean the kid on the back of his pointy head... while my other hand was holding it back. It was a real struggle, I'll tell ya.

Anonymous said...

I was just sitting down at the table with the life insurance salesman when my son who was 4 at the time pulled out a photo album. In it was a picture of him when he was first born in all his glory. He flips to that particular picture, turns to the salesman and says "look at my balls". I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

Tabasamu said...

*LOL* I want to know what the insurance salesman said!

Hey Saur, interesting post in your Saur kids blog. I'll be thinking of something to say in there.

Anonymous said...

My son had a speech problem when he was three. Standing outside the Mall one day with what seemed to be elderly folks from a home waiting for the bus, my son saw a huge semi-- "Look mommie, look at that big fw*ck, and look at that big fw*cker driving it"

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add he screamed this at the top of his lungs.

Saur♥Kraut said...

I am reading these out loud to a friend of mine, and we are laughing ourselves sick. Thanks for sharing, everyone!

Here's another:

My friend owns a hair salon. She has a really nice guy (let's call him Nicky) who works for her there. He's not too bright, but he's got a good heart and he's very good looking, so he's getting a lot of repeat business now - including referrals for clients he hasn't met before.

So Nicky was standing around in the salon, waiting for his 4 o'clock appointment with a guy named "Tye" (a first-time client).

In comes someone who walks up to the counter, and Nicky goes running up there to ask (in his friendly, puppy dog way) "Are you Tye?"

"No," answered the client, confused. "I'm Korean."

I swear that this is a true story. Everyone in the salon was hysterical. Poor Nicky was mortified.

back-to-basics said...
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back-to-basics said...
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Anonymous said...

My son has a bad night. Crawls into bed with me cause he has a bad dream. I also wake up to find he had had an accident while sleeping with me and I'm drenched. I said nothing to him. That day we had a family gathering and in come the in-laws. Grandpa ask "How ya doing little Tommy?" my son replies "Okay PaPa, but last night I had really bad dreams, and Mommie peed all over me"

Saur♥Kraut said...

Anonymous,

*ROFL*

Michelle,

Baby boy sounds charming! My son learned the sh*t word from preschool, too. :p

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. I could fill up this blog.

My son, who was five at the time, goes into a convenient store with his Daddy. They walk up to the clerk to make the purchase. My son pulls on his Daddy's shirt and says, "Daddy, better be good...better not steal" then points his little finger behind him. My husband looks back and there is a cop directly behind them in line just giving my husband a curious look.

Saur♥Kraut said...

*LOL*

Red Spice said...

This has got to be your best post. I loved what you posted, and the contributions are great.