Missionaries & Proselytizing

A close friend of ours is a famous hairdresser. He's bold, outspoken, witty, interesting...and straight. His book is always full and his referrals are word of mouth. He is continually on the move, juggling color, foils, trims, and perms. One day, a new client arrived that had been referred to him by another client. She sat in his chair and began to ask some prying questions. Was he married? No, but he's in a very committed relationship. Did he have kids? Yes, he said he did... Etc., etc., etc.

Now, these are the types of prying questions some people ask. The reasons they ask vary, but it's usually because they're either interested in trying to pursue a relationship with their 'victim', because they're simply nosy about something that isn't any of their business, or because they have a hidden agenda.

Knowing this, but choosing to not ask why she was prying (so he could stay removed from whatever angle she was coming from), he went off to the back room to mix the formula needed for her hair. When he came back, there was a Christian tract sitting on his work station.

Immediately seeing it, he smiled slightly but said nothing. He now understood that she had been trying to establish a commonality... reasons why he should become a born-again Christian. Noticing that he wasn't speaking, the client asked "Well are you?"

"Well is it?" asked my friend.

Confused, but unwilling to reliquish her pursuit, the client asked again, "Well are you?"

"Well is it?" my friend repeated.

"Is it what?" asked the slightly exasperated client.

"Is it any of your business?" asked my friend, calmly.

The client gasped "Well, I'm insulted!"

"And I'm offended," my friend said (honestly). "Do you really think that my personal beliefs have anything to do with you, or how well I can do your hair?"

"But you're so talented," she said, implying "you would be such an asset to our faith!"

"Look," began my friend. "Don't you think that I know all about Jesus? Don't you realize that when I drive to and from work every day I pass many, many churches? Don't you think that if I wanted to, I could stop in and ask them about what they believe? If I want to, then I will pursue it. When you sat down in my chair, I didn't ask you what you believe, did I? So how is that at all relevant to the relationship that we have as client and hairdressser?"

In the end, they agreed to part ways. He told her that obviously their business relationship wasn't going to be mutually satisfactory and she hasn't returned. The woman who had conspired with this 'missionary' also declared herself to be 'offended', and didn't return either.

Now, if I had to quantify what I believed, then I would say that I'm a born-again Christian. That means different things to different people, and none of us are exactly alike. But for all intensive purposes, let's use that term here. So, most people would think that I'd be on the side of the proselytizing women. But I'd like to tell those nosy people something that they may not have considered. My friend has a valid point. Do you really think that anyone in the United States of America (and most of the world, too!) hasn't heard the gospel? Do you truly think that inflicting your beliefs on others will 'save' anyone except the most needy and gullible?

As my friend points out, it is that type of person that keeps him away from religion. He feels that this type of rabid Christianity is mentally unhealthy. "Obviously," he says, "these types feel fulfilled only by the number of converts they are able to make." He also points out that they probably don't evaluate all their business relationships that way. "Do they walk into restaurants and refuse to eat there if the waitress or owners aren't of their religion?" he asks. "Do they only buy clothes from Christian proprietors?"

If you want quality converts, then you need to use quality means. Sometimes you don't need a battering ram to get in an open door. And sometimes, you need to keep your mouth shut.