I didn't always appreciate my incredible father. How many kids always do? But, I believe him to be an example of What A Father Should Be. And I am worried for our own children, because I don't see many men who are like that any more.Although I was divorced from SaurKid's father many years ago, I think he's a very good father. Not great, but very good. And "very good" is more than most children have, from what I see.
Of course we have the usual deadbeat dads. These guys rob their children of both money and love. But even worse are the fathers who are nominally in their children's lives; just enough to screw them up for life. These are the fathers who are verbally or physically abusive, or treat their children as a mild inconvenience to be endured until visitation is over.
It's a shame that men can't be court-ordered to be good fathers. They can't be forced to put their children's needs before their own. They can't be told that they must interract with their children, and be supportive of their hopes and dreams. Instead, these men are allowed to willfully continue to selfishly put themselves first, and their children become a distant second, at best.
If you have a good father, tell him so this Sunday, and tell him why he is so special. If you know of a bad one, give him a swift kick in his rear. If enough men were despised by society for what they choose to neglect, they would be shamed into making better choices. And sometimes all it takes is one small voice that stops enabling the harmful father and calls him to account for his actions.
13 comments:
Amen, and I thank everyday for having a good father. He was too sick to know this at the end of his life, but I knew well before he died that he knew how much I loved him.
Mr. Coffee, as I like to call me hubby, is the best dad on the planet. How many dads do you know take on their children in a plastic lightsaber battle in the front yard? Then four neighbor kids dove in and it looked like a Jedi reinactment. hehe.
You were blessed to have such a great father and Saurkid, too. Indeed it is rare.
Beautiful post! I have to say I am fortunate enough to have a father who was really good to us while growing up--not too huggy huggy---but he showed his love in many ways.
As well as 'bad fathers', there are a lot of women who don't know how to be a good mother either. So it works both ways. It's just sad to see children go through abuse, neglect and grow up in an unhealthy environment.
Enjoy your weekend sweetie!
like most children, my sibs and I have very mixed emotions about our Dad. One thing he does get from us is our respect and attention
I don't know what's worse, bad dads or bad mums...
Nice post, Saur. It almost made me cry.
Some good words, Saur. My dad flew the coop when I was a lad so I can relate to those who grew up without one.
Well I think you are right, but how can a dad know if he's a good dad until after he sees how his kids turn out? I think some dads can be living in the same house and supporting the family financially and still be deadbeats.
I'm hoping I don't get the kick in the pants. A simple card and a hug is all I need.
I am fortunate, I have a good dad and I plan to tell him so.
This was a nice read.
My dad is wonderful. I cna't wait to see my husband be a daddy! I'm so excited. I catch myself looking at him a lot of times and wondering what kind of a father he'll be, how he'll interact with our son, and what our relationship will be like.
My dad was the best. He taught me so much and gave me the confidence to do anything I wanted.
Cranky is also a great dad -- more hands on due to my crazy schedule. He's doing a great job not being like his own father...
I couldn't agree more. For the life of me, I don't understand how these "sperm donors" can be so callous to another human being, let alone their own child. There are, however, lots of things I don't understand.
I wrote a tribute to my father on my blog last Thursday. It was one of the most carefully written pieces I have ever done. And the fact that I made it available for the world to read served to authenticate it.
~Mike
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