Friday, June 30, 2006

A Moment in the Life of Esme & John

"Do you think I'm fat?" John asked, unexpectedly.

Startled by the question, Esme stopped stretching her legs and rolled over on the bed, still clutching the phone. "What? Are you kidding?" she asked incredulously. This sort of question only came from her girlfriends. "Of course not! You're muscular! For crying out loud, you're a soccer player!" she added.

He remained silent on the other end of the phone.

"John?" she said. "You there?"

"Yes, I'm just thinking," he answered.

"Well that was a weird question," she said. "OK, if you want to know the truth, I think you're..." she swallowed for a moment. They were just friends, and when someone is of the opposite sex, it's sometimes difficult to treat them exactly as you would treat a girlfriend. "I think you're... er... I think you could be described as sexy," she finished lamely.

"Hmmm," said John, which was not exactly encouraging. Esme winced to herself. She had flubbed it up somehow. This strange tightrope which they were walking between "relationship" and "friendship" was difficult to navigate at times.

Esme rolled back over and started stretching her legs again, pointing her toes to the ceiling as they talked.

"What are you doing right now?" asked John.

"I'm stretching my legs," she answered truthfully. "I wonder how many women do that? Lay in bed and talk and point their toes to the ceiling? Hey, do your legs get a little dent in them in the front when you do that? Do it now, and tell me if you get a dent that runs from your ankle to your knee!"

John dutifully did it. "Nope," he reported. "It's just you."

"Leave it to me to be different again," sighed Esme.

"I'm scared," he said unexpectedly.

Esme stopped pointing her toes. "What?" she asked, uncertain if she'd heard right.

"I'm scared," he repeated. "There are some days I don't even want to speak with you again. Did you know that?"

"What?!" she said, in surprise. "Why?! Is it my B.O.?"

"Oh be serious for once," he snapped. "I'm scared because there are times that I don't want to know you any better than I know you now. I might start feeling more, and I'm not sure that I want to. We've been friends for so long, it could be disastrous. What if we lost even that? Our families know each other. Perhaps someday we'll meet again at a family function and you'll say "Oh hello, John," and I'll say "Hello, Esme," and you'll ask me how I'm doing and then you'll drift off again. I don't think I... nevermind."

"Go on," said Esme, who was now completely drawn in.

"No, nevermind," said John truculently.

"You know, you sure have a hard time finishing your sentences," Esme said waspishly.

They both were quiet for a moment.

"You know, you have a very nice bellybutton," he said. "On a scale of one to ten, I'd say it was an 8.5."

"My bellybutton is only an 8.5?" asked Esme, incredulously. "What would it take to be a 10? Who's got a 10?"

"No, no," said John hastily. "An 8.5 is good!"

"A 10 is better," Esme pointed out.

They were silent again for a short while. She concentrated on pointing her toes to the ceiling again while she turned things over in her head.

"What are you wearing?" he suddenly asked.

"Wrinkled pink silk yoga pants and a lavender spaghetti strap top," she answered. "Hey, I'm no fashion plate at night. What are you wearing?"

"Grey... wait a minute... Grey Calvin Klein boxers," he said. There was another moment of silence.

"Do you think I'm fat?" asked John.

"You're sure you don't get a dent in your legs when you do that?" asked Esme.

Esme & John, Part 1
Esme & John, Part 2


Senor Caiman said...

She needs to let him lick the lint out, then 10.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Mr. Gator, *LOL* I'll try to remember that in the next installment.

Ed Abbey said...

Ah... I see you also have a creative post today. To answer your statement, yeah, babies are a piece of cake when they are asleep and I'm asleep. However, last night neither of us got to sleep at the same time. The wife and I haven't had a conversation like Esme and John in a long time other than saying, "here you take her."

Miss Cellania said...

Oh! I'm so glad you are writing about those two again!

Fred said...

Interesting pair, these two. I wonder if they'll wind up together?

I'm off to Disney for the holiday today, so have a good one, Saur.

michelle said...

Esme needs to go date about 3 differnt guys and have the time of her life.

Eddo said...

What is up with John? Guys don't ask questions like that... and if they do... well... then... let me just say I am worried about Esme ever being with John.

Esme also needs to realize... He's just not that into you. When I am really into someone, even if they are my best friend in the whole wide world, I tell them how I feel because love conquers all... or at least it is supposed to.

Eddo said...

oh, I like these by the way and I think you need to maybe put them all together and then maybe publish it on when you are done... just a thought!

Saur♥Kraut said...

Eddo, I dunno. I may never be done. This could be an endless saga? ;o) I love your writing style, too. What's this I hear about your being engaged?

Michelle, bossy! :D Maybe she doesn't want to!

Fred, who knows? I haven't made my mind up yet. Have fun at Disney!

Miss C, good!

Ed, Yeah, and "Honey did you buy the earplugs?"

michelle said...

Me bossy? Oh yeah I am aren't I?

Well it can be fun you know AND it just may help Esme determine if John or Joe, or Jack is the right person (or not).

The Juice said...

Glad I stumbled onto your blog. Very interesting :)

~Deb said...

Okay I seriously thought these two were gonna start phone bonin' one another... but you reassured me that this was a clean post today.

I love when you write about these two. I feel locked in. I feel almost as if I'm in a similar situation at times. I can totally relate to your creative writing!

Enjoy your weekend!

Reverberate58 said...

Love the story Saur! It gets better as you add to it! I will keep my toe pointed for the next installment! Do you think I am fat?

KristieD said...

i was surprised to see more of this couple. keep it coming. i enjoy reading this little saga. ;) Maybe its b/c i have walked that line b/t friends & lovers and have had it end both good & bad in the past.

Beaver said...

Oh I'm so glad Esme and John are back ! I love them very much - actually, this long courtship reminds me of CQFD and I. You know, we were best friends for 9 years before we got together !

The Lazy Iguana said...

Belly button lint?

I think she should let him do some tequila body shots from that 8.5 belly button. THAT will make it a 10+ in three shots or less!

Senor Caiman said...

Dear Mr. Lazy Iguana,

I like to pass on lessons learned to younger men when I see the potential for trouble brewing. When I was just 45 years old I had a lint ball the size of a grapefruit surgically removed from my stomach, ever since I’ve given my secretary second skin satin. I still have a scar.

Anonymous said...

i have a friend whose a guy. he used to do that to me, ask me where i was and what i was doing when he called late at night. it was sorta sexy. but then, i'm too far away and he found someone close by. and now? i'm just a "friend". or not. not sure. wish it could be more. but how do you broach that chasm? i find that he is always trying to get me to cough up or admit to things, that i feel, but he won't say how he feels. so its like a stand off. i'm sick of it. i want it to be over. i don't want anymore games. i just want to live


Badoozie said...

i find the rivalry between the two reptiles to be titillating. now, i'm missing the point aren't i? sorry about that. i wish that esme and john would realize that life is too short to be coy, or play stupid games. just spill it. spill their guts, what do they have to lose?

EmmaSometimes said...

I'm with Suz, SPILL IT!!

body shots would make it a 10.

I like reading about John and Esme.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I keep myself lint free.

Except for my pants pockets. But between the toes there is no lint to be found.

NOTHING changes a friendship like tequila body shots.

michelle said...

Spill their guts, I asked when they were going to "Get it on".

Badoozie said...

michelle, they can't get it on , if they won't even admit their feelings for each other. they're being stubborn, and ridiculous. i mean heck, they're both almost 40. this is not a time for games. they need to just get naked. while sharing their feelings. hows that. i think its a good compromise.

i have some suggestions for getting johns clothes off
esme could offer to put some aromatherapy oils on his back and massage him cause he looks tense.

or she could just get him drunk and have him write it on paper, then in the morning there would be no denying the feelings.

or, maybe she could just do a sneak attack and lip lock the hell out of him. pretend she is trying to pick some lint off his face, and just go for it. i think she's being a little to unaggressive. tell esme to call me

Kathleen said...

Esme is too smart to "get it on" until she has time to distance herself from her former relationship mess. She understands that she has to do the work to move on and John would not see or get the best of her until that is done. ;o)

Saur♥Kraut said...

Kathleen, ;o)

Susie, OMG, I laughed so hard! I'm very grateful I wasn't drinking anything when I read your comments.

Michelle, p'raps they never will! And yeah, you're bossy. But that's why I love you (among other wonderful things about you).

Lazy Iguana, I'll keep the body-shots-tip in mind. Thanks! :D

Emma, one day at a time. ;o) Who knows? Maybe John's gay!

QZ, there's no hope when they're that coy, usually.

Lazy & Gator, *LOL*

Beav, 9 years???

KristieD, 'zactly! And it's based on so many interractions that I (and all of us) have had over the years.

Reverb, ;o) No, you're not fat. But your toes look good all pointy like that!

Deb, Nope. This is a PG-13 blog. If they get it on, it'll be via innuendo. ;o)

The Juice, yours is quite interesting!