Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Today the St. Pete Times is covering a jerk who didn't pay his restaurant bill. Because he didn't think there was enough seafood in his pasta, he initially offered to pay for half of his meal and his girlfriend's dinner. He...wait a minute. He had a girlfriend? And he pulled that stunt while she was there?

What a creep.

If you're going to be a cheapskate, don't pull a stunt like that when you're on a date. That's equivalent to a Coupon-Clipper. Don't produce a coupon or try to stiff a restaurant on a date! Sure, he may have known her for a while, but this still sends all the wrong signals: "You're just not worth a full-priced meal."

This reminds me of "Jerry", an older guy that I dated for about a month, roughly 6 years ago. He was an ex-band member of a very famous band, so I figured he'd be really cool. Retired Band Member Cool, that is, which is different than Burned-Out Band Member Drooling on Himself. But he wasn't Retired Band Member Cool. He acted less retired, and more retiree, even though he was only 12 years older than I was (he's the only guy I've ever went out with that was that much older than I).

For instance, the guy had gout. I'm sorry to be so insensitive, but gout? Here I'm in my early thirties and I'm going out with a guy with foot mung. So wherever we went, he hobbled about, wincing. Romantic...? Uh, lemme think about that. No.

He had other weirdness, nothing serious, but just enough to make me go "hmmmm."

The straw that broke the camel's back was the morning we met for breakfast at a little diner near where he lived. The meals were very inexpensive. We're talking $3-$4 for a complete eggs-hashbrowns -toast-bacon meal.

Just before we ordered, Jerry leaned over and whispered conspiratorially "try to stick with the cheaper stuff on the menu. Let's not go over $4 here."

Jerry. Last of the Big Spenders.

That was the final date. If I'm not worth a measly $5 to a guy, I think I might be with the wrong guy.

Let's hope that Seafood Pasta Girl figures that out, too.


uncle joe said...

What a jerk!
I easily had you pegged as a $6 date.
Just kidding.
Those coupons can get a guy in trouble.

Miss Cellania said...

Daggum! A guy can be cheap and still find his match, but there's no need to be rude about it.

But then again, I haven't had a man (with the exception of my father and brother) pay for a meal for me since, oh, 1984. So what do I know?

jsull said...

I am truely hurt!!!!!!
I am 35
I get the goddang gout!
The first time I ever got it i was 32!
At that time I was in good shape too, crazy I know.
The doc asked these questions:
Do you eat wild game?
do you eat shell fish?
well today I ate 2 dozen oyesters and boiled shrimp.
Do you drink beer?
ummmm yes
Then you deserve the friggin gout!
thats what he said.
I can assure you anyone who has had it will attest to the pain involved.
I know an old man that has had it and has also had kidney stones he said he'd take kidney stones 5 times before he'd take the gout again.
But I'm no damn cheapskate!

Saur♥Kraut said...

JSull, ;o) You know, I was really getting to like you, too. Kidding! OK, you get a free Gout Pass. There are always exceptions. I'll bet you're still cute as a button.

Miss C, I try to go "dutch" as much as possible. It saves any feelings of obligation, later. Hey... I wonder if "dutch" is a slur now. Should I say that I try to go "North Korean" instead?

Uncle Joe, Heck no! I'm at least an $8 gal! :D

Mr. Fabulous said...

"try to stick with the cheaper stuff on the menu. Let's not go over $4 here."

Oh man, this made me HOWL with laughter! LOL

Ellen said...

We had a customer come into our restaurant years ago who wanted to use a coupon on a meal he ordered. It specifically said: "buy one, get one of equal or lesser value".... but he only ordered one entree, which he was splitting with his date for the night. Of course we didn't know about the coupon until it was time to pay for the meal, which was almost two hours after closing time. When the date realized what a cheapskate this guy was, she politely excused herself from the table, went into the bathroom and called herself a cab to go home.
The guy had no idea why we couldn't take off 50% of his one entree.... and I'm sure will never understand the meaning of being a cheapskate.

Good for you to dump Jerry. If he had a hard time keeping up with a $4.00 breakfast (which is very economical!), he's not being frugal, he's cheap.

ole funk feet said...

Ok Ok, thanks for the pass
I'll see if I can put my ego back together.
Maybe I can get my self-esteem back up to normal levels!
the gout suxxxx
I actually told the doc to either fix it or amputate I didn't care which.
The damn meds they give you for it are damn near as bad as the gout itself.
Any further gout questions send to

Anonymous said...

That is cheap! Maybe his girlfriend is just like him.

EmmaSometimes said...

wow. What was the icing on the proverbial cake was leaving that 10% tip.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I was out with a group of people once. We went to a Friday's or Chili's or something like that.

Anyhow, fat dude and his fat girlfriend each ordered a burger. When the food arrived, her burger was "too rare" and all the pinkish/red juice made her sick. His burger was too cooked.

Now I know what you are thinking. Swap plates!

Or you can bitch up a storm. Which is what they did. The bitching was sooo firece that my tab was less than $10. That INCLUDED whatever it was I drank that night and my dinner.

So I leave $25 on the table. This was about what my tab should have been minus a tip.

So you think the server got $15+ from me? Nope. The fat duo decided that was too much to leave for the "bad service" and applied my money to cover the main tab.

The point is that cheap people are all over the place. The dude's cheapness may have made his date all hot and wet. It is not so much "you are not worth a dinner" it is more like "look at how smart I is! I done got us free food".

United We Lay said...

I defend the right to refuse payment if an establishment has been given every chance to correct a mistake and the meal really was awful. One fo the problems people have is that they feel if they have been given some type of service, they are REQUIRED to pay for it, even if it was sub-par. If your maid (for example)didn;'t do half of the work she was supposed to do, would you pay her the full amount for the job? When you order a meal, you are expecting a certain level of quality. If it doesn't meet reasonable expectations for the type of restaurant, you have the right to complain to a manager and give them the opportunity to correct the problem. If they refuse, you have the right to refuse to pay for services that did not live up to those expectations. This is not to say tha you should do so if you simply didn't like the dish or it wasn't what you expected. My hubby and I went on our first date this weekend since the kid was born and dinner was a little interesting. The description of my meal was not at all like the one I was served, the waitress didn;t bring the bread, then when she did, she didn't bring butter with it. When I asked for butter, she brought me a dish of clarified butter (melted with the fat skimmed off the top). The only thng she got right was the drinks, which helped us through the rest of the meal. We tipped her, though only 10%, and we did not send back my meal, though it wasn't great. Just because it wasn;t wha I expected doesn't mean it wasn't what was on the menu. I just pictured it differently. Anyway, the point is tha we need to start demanding the goods and services we pay for, not only in food, but in all aspects of our lives. Americans have become lazy. They don't focus on quality, and for that, we all lose.

R2K said...

I Plane just crashed near me. Scary.

Senor Caiman said...


This post was actually funny.

The Lazy Iguana said...

United - if I do not like a place I simply never go back! You can bitch and try to get something removed from the bill - but I do not do this. I just pay and leave.

If you reserve the right to not pay for something because it was not what you expected - consider this.

Your boss asks you to do something. You do something. He/She then says it was not what he/she expected, and that you could expect to find $200 missing from your next paycheck.

Would you agree and accept the $200 pay cut?

Nihilistic said...

Ooo...Can I have Jerry?

Old Man Rich said...

a pill a day for life & your gout is cured.

And I recommend refusing to pay in kebab-ye if your donners not up to scratch. After all, hospital food is free.

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Incredible! What a wank.


Aunt Jo said...

That poor waitress probably had to make up the difference from Mr. CheapDate.

Sounds like you were already "sticking to the cheap stuff" if you were with Mr Retired Band Member Who Can't Remember How to Treat a Woman.

Badoozie said...

oh lord.....i think i would have ordered something just a tad over 4 bux to piss him off....
hey, you guys could have went on dates shopping for canes and lil rascal scooters....he could have got a two seater scooter...or you could have scored on all the senior citizen parking spots at walmart.

slopmaster said...

Restaurants are very giving when it comes to comping meals, so the guy must have been a real asshole for the restaurant not to want to comp him. And his tip was ridiculous. crazy.

United We Lay said...

I don't go back either, but I'm not going to pay for something that was done wrong or badly and there's nothing wrong with that, not that you were suggesting there is.

United We Lay said...

By the way - I pay for things that aren't what I expected. I do not pay for things that were done badly or wrong, and I don't expect my boss to pay me for a job done completely wrong or very badly.

Eddo said...

That is too funny. I am not a fan of anyone that is CHEAP. It is something I despise in men and women alike. I don't mine people being wise stewards of their money, but tip at least 15% and pay your part if there are parts to be paid. For the girls, I never expect them to pay, but if I go out to dinner with the guys then just because I make more money than them doesn't mean I should pick up the entire bill or even all of the appetizers. I don't mind some of the time, but people often become expectant, especially if you are too generous.