Monday, October 16, 2006

Virtual Kids

According to this article, there is a game called "Eccky" in the Netherlands where people can pick the parent of their virtual baby and then raise it together, online. Eccky? Sounds more like Icky to me!

This is a demanding virtual baby that text messages you throughout the day when it needs something, such as a diaper change. The only things that could be more fun would be surgery without anesthesia, or actual childbirth.

This is work with none of the benefits, such as the drooly kiss or the toothless grin when it's least expected. It's feeding the baby, but not holding it at night and rocking it to sleep.

It figures that it's popular in the Netherlands. My ancestors left there for a reason.

What young, adult American male wants to play Cyber House with a girl he's never met? And if you can have kids, why do the work again for none of the benefits? If you don't have kids, isn't this cruelly ironic?

I cheerfully recommend another concept, sure to please. Cyber Husband: He'll message you to nag you about the shopping spree you just had, or tell you to pick up the laundry. Maybe he can even be programmed for Cyber Sex. It will last for 5 minutes and then he turns off automatically.


Debbie said...

Ok I have my laugh for the day! LOL Cyber Husband! Cute!

I have never understood the virtual pets and things. My son drove me nuts with the pet on the chain thing. Always feeding and playing and when he wasn't home it chimed all the time! He finally realized having a kid was a lot of work and he did not want one! I told him he was lucky I did not feel that way! :)

mal said...

*L* 5 minute cyber sex? wow, such staying power.......

R2K said...

That could be a good way to meet women tho, very romantic.

Ed Abbey said...

Never could understand any of those cyber games. Mostly I never understood how people can have that much free time. If I could devote two hours a day to do anything, it certainly wouldn't be inside in front of a computer.

daveawayfromhome said...

Does that come with a virtual mother-in-law?

~Deb said...

I remember in high school that we had to take care of an egg as if it were our baby. You know how many people lost their yolk?

And, they had, (or still have) this device that you wear around your neck. The baby's picture is on it or something and it'll cry when it's hungry and cry when it needs to be changed, and if you miss an opportunity to do any of these motherly chores, the device breaks.

I don't get it. I really don't.

And LOL @ daveawayfromhome!!!!!!

Saur♥Kraut said...

Daveawayfromhome, :D I think that's the add-on. It messages to tell you that your sister-in-law just knitted 20 baby blankets in a week to donate to children's charity, and that you're not good enough for Virtual Hubby.

Ed, I tried that Tamagotchi thingy (some pixelated reptile in a green translucent egg you could hang on a key chain) and quickly grew tired of it. I had to maintain it for SaurKid, and I did, but he eventually let it "die".

Alex, maybe... but I would think that the only guys would might play it would want to have kids, and there are some women that definately don't. I suppose it would weed them out, though! And it might beat, because it would show if a guy could be responsible for a week.

Mal, I'm sure Cyber Hubby would agree, in his more modest moments.

Debbie, You're right. Kids are so much work, but the rewards are so great! That's something that can't really be transmitted to them through pet ownership or cyber games.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Deb, yeah! Or a sack of flour (which is supposed to simulate the actual weight of a baby). I don't recall doing it. If I did, I undoubtedly cheated at it.

green said...

I never understood the cyber baby thing either. My younger sister had one of those Tama-whatever they are thingees too. Good thing I was well out of the house by then.

Possibly a cyber-wife would be just as good as your cyber-husband idea. Hmmm...

Miss Cellania said...

Deb brought up the "fake baby" exercise that high school kids sometimes have to go through. Maybe this site was designed for something like that. Possibly its a service for schools to use as a requirement in their family life curriculum. That makes sense, but as a game for entertainment, I don't understand. It wouldn't be the first time an educational site has been hijacked for entertainment.

Mindless Dribbler said...

What in the world will they think of next??

That has to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.

Eddo said...

Cyber kids? I'm with you, no thanks on that one I am busy enough as it is.

js said...

Dang Saur, your kinda hard on us Hubbys!
turning off after 5 minutes?
I would like a magic wand to turn my kids into cyber kids, I wonder if I whip cyber kids butts would the cyber HRS come to my computer?

The Lazy Iguana said...

I worked in a school where the "baby egg" thing was banned.

It seems that ALL the kids at the school arrived one morning with eggs. Shortly after that, there was an egg fight on an epic scale. Baby splatter was everywere. The home ec teacher was horrified, it being her first year and all.

The principal banned the idea forever.

Video game kids? People should just get a pet.

~Deb said...

What about those fake bellies that they strap around men so that men can feel what it's like to be prego??? Ha! I get such a kick out of weird therapy techniques like that.

Ah well. If a man were to have a baby, that'll be one remarkable day in scientific history!

I went way off topic with that one.

*Puts martini down*

sasha said...

My son (8th grade) has to take home one of those baby things (toys? don't quite know what to call it) - looks just like a baby, weighs about the same, it has a computer chip in it that the teacher sets for him and he has to take care of it overnight - it needs one of 4 things when it cries - to be changed, burped, fed or something else (can't remember) - he needs to do a trial and error check to see which one it needs, then it stops crying. He has to keep it in his room all night and the funny thing is I will probably be the one to hear the thing cry - 2 rooms over, behind 2 closed doors and over white noise... And it will freak out the dog I'm sure. So I'll have him sleeping with me too...

Mr. Fabulous said...

Five minutes?

What is he, as superhero or something?


Senor Caiman said...


Excellent post.

This is a great idea for middle age women with kids. There aren’t too many normal men out there looking for that package.

It’s times like this when I wish I could explain why men get better looking with age.

It funny there was a time when I would have laughed at 5 minutes but now I find myself saying just give me 5 more minutes.

It’s all good.

Bryan said...

Sounds kind of creepy to me: The Stepford Husbands?

Oh well, I guess you gals are long overdue for your own film. :)

Fred said... you wouldn't be endorsing a product that makes fun of us hubbys, would you? (Or is it hubbies?)

No need to program me. I don't need 5 minutes. :)

Lee Ann said...

I am with you, I don't think I want to play eccky. The drooly kisses and toothless grins are what makes the work worth it!

Badoozie said...

love the cyber hubby. i think there should be reality cyber medical conditions too...such as explosive diarhea, and other things.

Nihilistic said...

My Highschool had the egg thing too - I'm not even sure what class it was year they used sacks of flour...the kids lugged them to all of their classes and had them in diapers...I refused to take that class...I didn't want kids then and it didn't change as I got older!

QUASAR9 said...

Hi Saur Kraut,
This is your Cyber Husband
calling to remind you
to feed the Cyber baby less often
so you'll have to change the cyber nappies less often

And they call themselves environmentalists, whether disposable or washable, they are overused by non-cyber mums.

Have these people ever wondered how they managed before nappies were introduced into human society

PS - If you are not into natural childbirth, you can always do a Madonna. Mind you she does have a nannie and body guards to bring her adopted Malawi baby to England on a private jet - and turns out the baby is not even an orphan. lol!

PS - You forgot a Cyber Nannie
A good Cyber Husband would always provide Cyber Wife with a Cyber Nannie to care for Cyber Baby.

But Cyber Sex, takes the fun away from it somehow - could we not meet ocassionally in the flesh. After all you've heard of meeting of Minds and you must have seen Jane Fonda in Barbarella - hair raising sex, better than Vulcan mind melds

uncle joe said...


Anonymous said...

Civilisation is crumbling.

Yes, I am Dutch! said...

«It figures that it's popular in the Netherlands. My ancestors left there for a reason.»

So what does that means? YOUve ever been there? Probably you dont even know where its situated...

A very «cynical» thing to say for someone who lives in a country (where the Pentagon helps to develop and virtual war games for the youth with one purpose: indoctrination. Which sounds ICKY to me) who thinks the Dutch are still walking on «klompen» and living in Windmills...

What the USA needs is a virtual President and Government. That would be a good virtual play!

Sorry, but I just cant read things like «My ancestors left there for a reason». Its a very Hypocrits thing to say... you bet.