Sunday, March 23, 2014

The "Son of God" Movie: Give it a Pass and Rent "The Passion of the Christ" Again

I saw the Son of God  movie last night and was amazed to see how good the dentistry was back then: Everyone had shiny, perfect white teeth*. And Mary's plastic surgeon must have been renowned: I'll bet she had the same plastic surgeon as Cleopatra. Or Steven Tyler. (In fact, come to think of it, she looked exactly like Steven Tyler. I had to double check to make sure they weren't related). She got to play Mary because her husband was the producer.
This wasn't a well-constructed movie. Instead, it was a strung-together series of vignettes. I left with the feeling that everyone was rushing to film the scene and move on to the next as quickly as possible. I suspect they took their production notes from Angry Alien Productions, famous for their movie summaries in 30 seconds (check out Gone With the Wind or Jurassic Park).

Perhaps it's also easy to miss the agony and the ecstasy when you're busy listing all the mistakes that were made throughout the movie. For instance, Jesus didn't lovingly grasp a child's face and tell her that the entire temple was going to be torn down and not one stone would remain on another while she giggled insanely. That would be...weird. No, instead he had that chat with his disciples (see Mark 13).

And, sorry to break it to all you feminists (hey, I'm a conservative feminist so I'm in sympathy here) but Mary Magdalene wasn't just one of the guys. She couldn't have trekked around with Jesus and the apostles because she was female. Not only is she NOT mentioned in the Bible as having traveled with them, but we also know that Jewish women still valued their virtue back then and a woman wouldn't have spent night and day in a nomadic lifestyle with men she wasn't directly related to. Then there's the little problem of her monthly cycle: It kept women from being portable. You see, they didn't have tampons back then, and didn't have disposable pads. Instead, women had rags, and going through the nuisance of soiling multiple rags, washing them daily, etc., wasn't something a woman could do in public. Also, according to Judaic law, women had to go off on their own when they were going through that "time of the month." Mary could hardly have said "Hey guys, have fun. I'll be in that tent menstruating for a week or so. I'll catch up with you when I'm done."

I've heard the reviews: People have left the theatre crying. I can only say that if they did, it's simply because they stubbed their toe on the way out. When I saw Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, I cried. Oh, how I cried. But this one fails to capture both the glory and the pathos. But what I kept asking myself was: Why? Somehow they were caught up in the execution of the film and forgot to delve into the gut-wrenching reality, faith, and hope that it was based on.

P.S. I have had a recent rebuttle that I wish to share with you, since it needs to be said: 

Some of the observations in your posted review are good, but I think you are wrong in your statements about the women.  Women traveled quite freely (They were not Moslems, you know) and would not have been shut up in a room when they had their periods.

They also were present at such events as the feeding of the 4000. The Mary who anointed Jesus' feet and wiped His feet with her hair in John 12 was Mary (respectable, and the sister of Lazarus and Martha)--not to be confused with the woman who anointed Jesus in Luke chapter 7.
Notice from the verses below how the women traveled with Jesus from Galilee and ministered to Him--not spending the night in the same place, of course, but probably with Him daily:  Matthew 27:55; Mark 15:41; Luke 8:2; and Luke 23:55.

*Except for Matthew, bless his heart. I guess he didn't get the memo. I've seen mangy Pekingese dogs with better teeth).