Many of you joined this blog after I posted this story. It's a story of a Kid Out of Control (KOOC). 'Elvira' happens to be the daughter of a close friend of mine, 'Julie'. I have stories about Elvira that would curl your hair. By the end of it, your hands would be twitching to connect with her fanny...trust me. This kid could give The Pope high blood pressure. Whose fault is it? I'll be honest with you; it's Julie's fault. But no more.
During the summer, Elvira has spent a great deal of time over at her dad's. It's been a marvellous boon to Julie, who could finally breathe again after 10 years (this kid starting causing havoc the moment she was born). Julie began to realize just how much she had let Elvira get out of control, and how much of a toll it was taking on her health. As the summer progressed, Julie began to get back some energy, and felt less depressed. (At the same time, Elvira's father grew noticeably crankier).
Julie began to get the desire to 'do things' again, and one day she decided to tackle Elvira's bedroom. While she was sifting through Elvira's things, she came across a notebook, titled "Punishments". Julie had never seen this before, and sat down to read it. The book is filled with a very scientific summary of everything wrong that Elvira did, along with the punishment that came as a result of it. She also rates the punishments and makes comments like "Mom can't do any better than this?" "Mom is a wimp!" "This punishment is nothing." "Good thing Mom can never stick to her punishments."
Julie read this notebook with amazement and growing consternation. By the end of it, she was a new woman. She tore through Elvira's bedroom, cleaning out anything that wasn't necessary. She got rid of all the sexy little outfits that this 10 year old loves wearing (yes, she allowed her to wear micro mini skirts, heels, and makeup). Elvira will now be forced to wear (gasp!) kids clothes from now on.
Julie has also decided that Elvira was right about one thing. She was a wimp. But she has vowed to crack down on Elvira from now on, and stick to her punishments. The moment that Elvira walks back in that door, she will be subject to new chores and punishments. Perhaps there is still hope for both of them.
Update on Pie: Although she loves Leroy Selmon's Chopped Salad, she has decided that Wendy's taco salad is pretty good, too. When we got her, she was very thin. She now looks positively pregnant (she isn't). She's grown in just three days (I'll post more pictures tomorrow). She continues to become tamer. Yesterday night she actually felt comfortable enough to crawl about a little bit.
My Other Half (OH) was laying on the sofa, watching TV, and he asked to hold her. So, I put Pie on his bare chest. I turned my back for a minute and he suddenly yelped "OMG! She just went up my shorts!"
Sure enough, she had whipped into his shorts faster than you can say 'possum', and the entire family was in hysterics as we tried to get her back out again. The OH was torn between being absolutely still and jumping about like a mad man, so he did both. Pie, meanwhile, clung onto his underwear for dear life. I finally extricated her, after she had roamed about in his shorts for a little over a minute. He was greatly relieved, as he put it later, that she hadn't decided to 'try the sausage'. Good thing she's well fed...