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Saturday, August 06, 2005

Pranking the Parents, Part Deux


As you recall from an earlier post, my parents live an elegant, reserved life in an elegant, reserved house. For Christmas, they always decorate their home in an elegant, reserved way. They have a lovely Victorian Christmas tree, and hang a beautiful, custom-made wreath on their door. That's about the extent of their decorations.

When we were kids, we'd drive by those tacky Christmas Homes in awe. You know the ones I mean: Santa is on the roof with all of his reindeer, there's a nativity up front on the lawn, and the rest of the house looks like The North Pole; complete with fake candy canes, assorted glowing lawn ornaments, lights everywhere, and faux snow (in Florida you don't usually get the real stuff, of course).

Again, being the helpful daughter that I am, I decided we needed to help The Parents get in touch with their inner Christmas Child. So I began planning about 6 months in advance. I collected lights and lawn ornaments everywhere. I found some great deals at garage sales and thrift shops. I collected santas, reindeer, large glowing candles, I believe a penguin or two, and others. I also bought a large supply of extension cords.

Every year Mom and Dad throw the Perfect Christmas Party for their Perfect Friends (as you already know). Mom (being the Martha Stewart of Florida) always trots out a lovely assortment of made-from-scratch pastries and exotic foods. Dad, ever the genial host, entertains the guests in the Elegantly Reserved Living Room where the Perfect Christmas Tree stands. (I lived with them for 18 years and still don't know how they do it so effortlessly).

I needed a co-conspirator and suckered my ex-husband in on it again. My powers of persuasion are mighty! (Now if I could only use them on my new boss at work - he is oblivious to my charm). So, on the night of the Perfect Christmas Party, my ex and I snuck up to my parents home. The kitchen and living room were in the back, but we still were deathly quiet as we tiptoed and crawled around the lawn, carefully positioning lawn ornaments and stringing festoons of light everywhere.

There were a couple times that we froze, while people could be heard inside. But when the last lawn ornament was positioned, and the first guest was leaving, we plugged everything in and...

Voila! Everyone was treated to a Christmas Lawn Display that was so bright they needed sunglasses.

Although the guests were somewhat apprehensive, Mom and Dad were appropriately appreciative, and we got eggnog. Mom makes the Perfect Eggnog.

So if you wish to prank your parents this holiday season, now is the time to begin planning.

10 comments:

ajay shroff said...

that was really nice. The look on their faces would have been priceless.
ajay

Fred said...

LOL. It reminds me of the movie Christmas Vacation. If your parents' house looked anything like that, it was surely tacky!

A Little Bar of Soap said...

How is Pie, one of God's cutest creatures?

Saur♥Kraut said...

LBOS, Pie is doing wonderfully! I'll try to post more pics tomorrow. She is a brat, though. Last night I was exhausted. Usually I make or buy her a salad (she is one spoiled possum) but at 10 at night I realized I didn't have any salad for her. So I put some dry dogfood in there, with fresh water. I had just given her a bath and washed her tub and put fresh towels in there. Well, in a fit of anger, she chewed up her styrofoam container (she's never done that before), and smeared poop all over the tub. Arrgh! Brat! Now I know that anything other than salads is considered unacceptable. She's training me well.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Fred, it looked pretty close! ;o)

Ajay, they took it with good humor, but the ornaments went to charity the next day.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I always wanted to make a "snowman yard of horror", but it never snows here. Too bad - because I have some wonderful ideas.

1. The Headless Snowman.
2. Jason Snowman.
3. Drawn And Quartered Snowman.
4. Abu-Gharib Snowmen.
5. Bush Snowman (AAAGGGHHHHH!)
6. Nuclear Accident Snowman.

And so on. It would be great. My neighbors would love me even more than they do now.

By the way, possums LOVE mangos. At least Miami possums love mangos. Anyone with a mango tree in their yard has possums - but most of them do not realize it.

Some Random Girl said...

I picture Christmas Vacation too! Soooo funny. I can picture you in stealth mode....belly crawling all in black.....across the yard setting up the prank. Hilarious. My kind of prank

dddragon said...

oh, I wish we were closer so that I could help!! I've long wanted to buy a 100 flamingos to put on my sister Actonbell's lawn!

United We Lay said...

My parents are much like yours, and after a long discussion last night, we decided that this was a great way to prank my parents. My dad is going to think it's hyserical. My mom might like it a little less, but I think it's definitely going to get a laugh from the neighbors. My parents have lived in the same place for 24 years.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Lazy Iguana, Wonderful ideas!!! BTW thanks so much for the suggestion. I will try her on mangoes next, and will put up pics if I can get them...

Jules, *g*

Dddragon, do you know that there's a service here in FL that does that???

Polanco, if you need tips, let me know. ;o) Glad I could help a co-conspirator!