Pages

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Mouth of the South

I've been juggling many problems lately. I got up to the smell of more rotting rats (I'm poisoning the wild ones that keep getting into the house). God only knows where this one chose to die. I had gone into one of my businesses this morning to ream out a couple employees for very poor customer service. Then I headed home to deal with my other business.

My car is in the shop, so I drove back in a borrowed car, which has little idiosyncracies of its own (it smokes for no apparent reason). On the way home, I stopped for groceries. I wasn't looking my best; jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers. I was feeling a mite grumpy too, as you can imagine.

Going through the aisles, I chose what I minimally needed to get by for the upcoming week. Heck, I haven't even had time to deposit checks I've received in the mail, so obviously I haven't had much time for anything else, either.

Walking down an aisle that had beer and frozen foods, I reached the end and turned around. A scruffy-looking man who had been trying to dodge around my cart had to pull up short. "Oh!" I said, sweetly, "Sorry about that!"

Why was *I* apologizing? Because I was brought up to be a well-bred young woman who apologizes willy-nilly. If someone is sunburned, I tell them how sorry I am. If they had a bad day, I'm sorry about that too. Heck, I'm even happy to apologize for someone else's bad behavior! I'm just one apologetic little person.

As you know, the standard response in such an exchange is "No problem!" But instead, the guy (holding a pack of beer in one hand, and obviously in a hurry to drink it at 11 in the morning) squinted at me through bleary, bloodshot eyes, and slurred "Try not to run me over!"

"Try not to drink so much," I snapped, and kept going.

No longer am I the nice, retiring little thing of years gone by. You get one chance, and that's it. Yup, that's me. The Mouth of the South. You've come a long way, baby.

20 comments:

Ted said...

Was he wearing a petticoat?

Ellen said...

Great comeback! I can never think that fast on my feet. Heck, I would have been out the door and halfway down the road before I could have thought of anything.

That's the problem sometimes when our parents raise us to have too many manners, we end up apologizing for everything.

What was the look on his face after that?

Notsocranky Yankee said...

Good comeback! Some people need to be straightened out.

michelle said...

great, he'll probably show up to my ER in a couple hours all depressed and drunk because were inconsiderate and mean.

Whistle Britches said...

I saw this in a Seinfelt episode once. Elayne almost ran this drunk over w/her cart in the store and then later actually ran him over in the parking lot.
Kramur had to give them a ride in his borrowed car, on the way Elayne recognized the drunk/rundown man as her former gym coach who always made her dance solo for her grade. She also realized she had been secretly in love w/him for years.
One thing led to another and they were married right before he died in her arms. A very moving episode of SeinfelT if I may say so. :::::))))))

Michael K. Althouse said...

I can sympathize with that borrowed car, I too smoke for no apparent reason, but I'm working on that.

I think that one chance is all anyone should get to be polite. To parphrase Patrick Swayze from "Road House," I'm nice, until it's time not to be nice. Everyone deserves the chance to be polite, but I see no reason to ruturn rude behavior with cordiality. It doesn't work.

Although I am reluctant to get into a verbal altercation with anyone, when forced, I am very good at it.

Good post, I hope things get a little more serene for you soon.

~Mike

Paul Nichols said...

"Excuse me, Miss," he said politely. "I can help you cash your checks. At your convenience, of course."

Saur♥Kraut said...

Paul, ;o) Yeah, sounds rought, doesn't it? But it shows you how busy I am when I can't get MONEY into my account!

Mike A, *LOL* Maybe I should offer the car some nicorette gum...

Uncle Joe, Seinfeld, shinefeld. They shoulda called ME. I would've been the best writer they'd ever had!

Michelle, :D I know! Leave it to Saur to cause trouble. But tell hubby that I passed the word along and thank him SO much for being a secret shopper! I owe you - and will be bringing along that product you like on Saturday.

Not So Cranky Yankee, ;o)

Ellen, well, I didn't use to use snappy comebacks, but I'm getting older...and snappier... ;o)
I didn't look at him OR the two women standing nearby. I didn't want to. I just stolidly kept walking...

Ted, nope. His height of fashion was an old blue flannel shirt. On a warm Florida day(?)

Deb said...

I have the same issue! Inappropriate apologies to people who don’t deserve it. It’s strange. I think it stems from childhood—(oh no---psychoanalyzing again…) Seriously…I think you may be too polite for your own good. It comes from a ‘good upbringing’ I believe.

poopie said...

Doesn't it feel good to be the mouth of the south? heh.

dddragon said...

I am standing up and applauding you! I wish I had the nerve to say something like that!

Ed said...

I've gotten into several altercations at the grocery store in the past. Too many people leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle. In one instance, after I had asked a lady two different times in separate aisles to politely excuse me so I could get my cart past hers, I found her blocking yet another aisle. I just built up a little speed, rammed her cart and sent it sailing down the aisle and into the meat display. I calmly turned the corner and proceeded to the next aisle but I was waiting for the grocery police to cuff me and escort me out. She didn't leave her cart out in the middle of the aisle the rest of the time I was there.

Kristie said...

GOOD FOR YOU! i think its ok to dish out what we receive every now &then...It feels good too sometimes. No real harm done, so oh well!

Brianne said...

That's odd, something like this happened to me just last night: I invited a friend of mine to hit the gym with me (I'm a big "gym person"), and on the way there he asked me how long I intended on staying. I replied with the usual time I spend there, an hour and a half, and he laughed that off! He was intentionally trying to make me feel bad about myself, and I knew it.

On the way back from the gym, I actually worked in a little snap back at him, and beamed with pride as soon as I got back to my place. I'm usually not one to snap, but this just crossed the line!

Congrats

Dave said...

Saur,

I credit my success to always attaching my wagon to the meanest woman in the office. I sense we could have gone places.

Jenn said...

Ha!

This reminds me of one hilarious news report, a guy was driving drunk through the grocery store... driving a motorized shopping cart! He was causing a lot of chaos, and was arrested by cops. In my imagination I saw the cops chasing him through the store in shopping carts with sirens.

Back to you, funny how our politeness disappears when it is not received like it should be!

Bryan said...

I think your reply to him was completely appropriate.

Lila said...

Sorry you're having a bad day. Ew, I once had rotting mice in an apartment I was in. That's no fun. Yeah, I think your response was appropriate.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that I missed this post. I can't seem to catch up these days.

Yeah, what is it that we were trained to be apologetic for anything and everything?

Fun post. Made my FRIDAY. Oh well, better late than never.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

Tut and double tut.