Bad Art

It's amazing how many bad artists there are out there. But perhaps I sound a little harsh, believing as I do in the concept of The Lazy Artist.

Hey, I even think Picasso grew lazier as time went by. One morning he probably woke up in 1907 and said to himself "That's it! No more working and agonizing over these paintings. The heck with perfecting the art form. It's time to paint as badly and easily as a kindegartner. There are enough fools out there that will be willing to pontificate about my mastery of art, if I schmooze the right people and act as avant garde as possible."

Now, there's no doubt that Picasso pioneered in some areas, such as cubism. But he didn't master them as beautifully as, say, Tamara de Lempicka. Picasso may have introduced the medium, but others became expert in it. Picasso occasionally returned to drawing well, but he usually settled for the simplicity of modern art. (Incidentally, my former icon (the girl in green) which was a favorite of many of you was painted by Lempicka).

Andy Warhol is a classic example of a terrible artist who always took shortcuts, but was an excellent showman.

Some poor artists who would dearly love to be eccentric enough to be taken seriously include:

1) A man in the 70s who painted by dipping worms in paint and throwing these poor creatures (writhing in agony) down onto canvas so they could create a "painting". Apparently I didn't take him seriously enough, because I can't remember his name.

2) Tampon Art. 'Nuff said.

3) The Museum of Bad Art displays items created by many artist wannabes. Their narrative embellishments echo what many critics say of the more popular "pop" non-artists and are absolutely hysterical.

4) Truly crappy art for bathrooms.

5) "Conceptual art" which is probably the laziest artform of all, because it takes zero creativity and no mental energy is expended. This includes covering islands with pink fabric, lining a cathedral ceiling with yellow umbrellas (you can have that idea for free!), etc.

To the right is a picture by/of Harriet Stockman, who is notorious for her "conceptual art". Gee, never woulda thought to do THAT. What an artist. I'm hoping for bubblegum up her butt, next. I'll bet she's got a real sense of humor, too.

Now, I've heard some people say that when you view art that is this bad (they like to call it "modern" or "challenging") you learn to appreciate the subject of the art and view it from a different perspective. Hahahahahaha! I mean, *ahem*, of course it serves that purpose.

I believe that writing is an art form. Others have agreed with this viewpoint, and that's how the Beatnik movement began (which seems to have evolved into rap music). One sterling example of a Beatnik poem comes from the movie "So I married an Axe Murderer": Click here to listen to 'Hard-Hearted-Harriet' .

Since I would like to consider myself a serious artist, I will now attempt to translate my words into a modern art form, just as many others have tried (such as e.e. cummings). I will build from my post from yesterday:

i went an saw my peeps rosie a coupla days ago.
.....she
..........jest
...............bought
....................herself
.........................a new crib.
rosie be a funny chick and she's a real trash talker. i was really looking forward to givin her the }}}}} fly by {{{{{
i got to the front door -*- rang the doorbell -*- and then noticed
a
....1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
........legged
............freakish critter
................hangin out there.
when rosie answered the door -*- i tole her -*- YO! check out this spyder. i think it might be a nasty mofo and you might wanna...

Thank you, thank you. I am taking my bows and leaving the stage. Please hold your applause to a minimum.