Why is it that the majority of our storms are hurricanes, not himicanes? When I was a kid in the 70s (yeah, yeah - now you know I'm 30something) they started using men's names for hurricanes because it was suddenly deemed sexist to name brutal storms after women only.
But here we are, in 2005, and I've noticed a disturbing pattern: most of the terribly destructive hurricanes have female names!
So, I've hit upon a plan. I think we stop giving these storms any female names whatsoever and perhaps that will discourage them. I also think that we need more interesting names, so we can watch those annoying TV personalities choke over them. I suggest:
Albuterol
Bananarama
CoCo Chanel
Damocles
Existentialistic
Frankincense
Guiseppe
Hornswaggle
Iggypop
Jemima Puddleduck
Ketamine
Loxodonta
Mandible
Narwhal
Occidental
Parsimonious
Quintessential
Rassinfras
Snugglebunnies
Turugasima
Ululate
Verisimilitude
Walla Walla
Xhosa
Yttro-cerite
Zyuzito
(All but a couple are real words, but who cares?) They can call me next year for a new list. I'll be happy to supply them.
Can you see a perky little anchor woman trying to put on her serious frowny-face and say "Hurricane Snugglebunnies is bearing down on the Florida coast..." And you know the type of reporter who has "Intrepid" as his title, as in "Intrepid John Smith of ABC News"? Well, imagine Intrepid John Smith out there in the gusting wind, talking about how Hurricane Iggypop is causing massive storm surges.
The hurricane (or should I say himicane) would be so humiliated it would just dry up and slink away to another corner of the earth, where it might be given a decent name. Of course, it might not, but at least we'd be entertained as it ravaged us.
About Me
- Saur♥Kraut
- Saur♥Kraut has been called The Mouth of the South.
This blog was repeatedly named one of the best blogs in the area by the (then) St. Pete Times and Tampa Tribune. After a hiatus of a little over 3 years, she has recently returned to blogging and generally annoying everyone.
Saur♥Kraut grew up in the Tampa Bay Area and, after a brief period of roaming, settled there for good... just as a tick settles on a dog. She now lives in uneasy symbiosis with the most densely populated area within the State of Florida.
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15 comments:
I can see that working. If I were a himicane I'd be rather embarassed of being called a bananarama himicane. It would deffinantly be entertaining watching the media personel trying to look dignafied calling them things like this.
The Lumpy
Saur, I'm flattered!
lOve the list!
How 'bout dicksquat?
Great list. However, Walla Walla has no "h" at the end. How would you like it if I did some renaming, like Pagoh Pagoh? Or Sour Saurkraut? Huh?
Old Hoss, oh pits. OK, I'll fix it.
Dddragon, I like the suggestion!
Bananarama, *g* well, you've been part of the blogging world so long, it was only fitting.
Jeff, love your suggestions! Especially 'get me a glass of sweet tea and some pie'
Lesser Lumpkin, 'zactly! ;o)
TC, As in:
Sandra: Let's turn to Chuck, our meteorologist! What's in store for us this weekend with Hurricane Par-simon...persimmon...par-simon-onious... Uh, heh heh, tough one there, Chuck!
Chuck: Heh heh, well, Sandra... Hurricane Parsimonious is the proper way to pronounce it, I believe. It means excessively frugal - like Uncle Scrooge!
Sandra: (in a slightly snappy tone) Oh, did they teach you that in meteorological school, Chuck?
How about adding "Rupaul" to the list. Then we could call it a "Him or Hurricane".
That would be good for some chuckles.
yup, I think you are onto something. If we do not like the weather we just intimidate it until it goes away!
LOL at Bananarama
The new names are great.
I too am disturbed that the bad storms lately have had women's names. What's going on here????
Jamie Dawn, I think I'm right. Giving them female names just empowers them.
AP3, ;o)
Lazy Iguana, awesome suggestion.
LOL. I can see it now our weatherman stumbling over the destructive path of Hurricane Jemima Puddleduck!
Great alternative list.
Saur said, "I think I'm right. Giving them female names just empowers them."
Yup, can you imagine the what a hurricane named Saurkraut would be like?
:)
Absolutely not, Saur!
Men get blamed for everything else on earth that goes wrong. Men in advertising are portrayed as dunderheads or oversized gonads with legs. Having female names for half the Hurricanes kinda helps us out!!!
Don't worry! Just because Katrina is the worst hurricane that ever hit the U.S., and that Katrina is a woman's name doesn't mean that men think women are to blame...yet.
Michelle, ;o) Grumpy, I think.
UL, Well, I'll give guys a break then, and only name himicanes after things.
Mike Ashley, welcome!
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