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Monday, October 31, 2005

BOO!!!

Frightening Thoughts For Adults

1) Why does the Virgin Mary only appear to Catholics? You never hear of her appearing to a group of Buddhist Monks, for instance. Imagine the confusion!

2) Why does my local bank have braille on it's drive-thru?

3) Why is it fashionable for teens to look like they're homeless and haven't bathed in a month? And are they actually attracted to each other? If so, why? Or does this follow the cockroach principal: We don't know how they are attracted to each other, but they must be, since they breed.

4) Do a check in your area if you have kids, to see where the child molesters are. Many places have websites that you can find out if there's a molester in your area. There's one in mine, and he likes little boys. Then check with your police department to find out your ordinances. Here, it is illegal for child molesters to have their lights on tonight, or have any Halloween decorations outside.

BOO!!!

17 comments:

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

1/ You have to believe in her to see her.

2/ Because they are nice.

3/ You know when you're getting old when kids fashion looks bad.

4/ After visiting your site everyday I've decided to at last link to you.

Happy Halloween!

Anonymous said...

1) Who says she hasn't appeared to them? Do you think the Buddhist Monks would admit it if they are gazing upon a young virgin woman?

2) For the Floridian drivers who can't see anymore, yet still have their drivers license renewed by mail every 7 years.

3) I believe DHG called you old.

"I got a rock." Happy Halloween!

Jamie Dawn said...

The cockroach principle.... FUNNY!!
It defies explanation.

Happy Halloween! Today is chocolate overload day!

Anonymous said...

I have a question for # 4 (which I didn't see earlier, did you update?). Is that a county law or only your municipality?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Let's say YOU don't turn on your lights, and you don't put out any decorations. Does that make you pedophilian? Nah, that would be too easy for the cops.

TLP said...

I see you were struck by the
ChristianConservativeFreak too. Talk about a FREAK!

1. She never showed herself to me either. Go figure.
2. Good question, but all of the ATM's have that.
3.I like the cockroach idea. That must be it.
4. I hope that is a law everywhere.
5. The question you didn't ask. HOW DO I LIKE THE ENDING TO THE STORY BELOW?
Brilliant. Loved your ending.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

HEY ULTRA CONSERVATIVE!

Israel leaders have asked for the destruction of Palestine and the eradication of its people on many occasions.

But you don't see that in the GODDAMN press do you?

michelle said...

#3 is a classic. Ain't it the truth!

The Zombieslayer said...

Why is it fashionable for teens to look like they're homeless and haven't bathed in a month?

We can blame Seattle for this one.

High Power Rocketry said...

I just throw pennies at them until they stop ringing the bell.

R2000
Bathroom Review

Lee Ann said...

I have wondered that exact thing with #2 and #3.
Happy halloween!

The Lazy Iguana said...

Right now, there are no lights on at the Neverland Ranch. No decorations out front either.

PS - did you catch my special Halloween link?

Saur♥Kraut said...

I just got back from trick-or-treating. Sorry about the lack of comments today! Halloween and all... you know. Can you believe someone gave my child an apple? I don't wish to sound ungrateful, but it's a waste of food. No one can eat them, so they get tossed away.

First, ChristianConservativeFreak, I am sorry that I had to delete your comment. It's not that I agree or disagree, but it was just way too long. I would recommend you start your own blog, and let us know when you do!

Lazy Iguana, *LOL* and no, I didn't catch the link but I'll look at it! Thanks!

Lee Ann, to you, too! Hope you got your favorite candy!

Alex, projectile weapons are always effective!

Zombieslayer, or Madonna. ;o) She started the unwashed hair look. *shudder* Glad she's passed that stage.

Michelle, ;o) I forgot to ask what your kids went as! I want to know! We almost came by, but hit Bardmoor instead.

Daniel, I'll link to you too! Thanks, glad you think it's worth checking in on. And I think A.Q. is right! You implied I'm aged!

TLP, I'm so glad you liked the ending! Coming from you, that is truly high praise. You are a marvellous writer.

Old Hoss, ;o)

Always Questioning, it may not be the law everywhere, but it is in the Tampa Bay Area. You'd have to check with your local P.D. It was an update I added about an hour after the original post. And I still think that if a ghostly young woman in a shroud appeared before a group of people, they'd mention it (even if they weren't Catholic. Of course this also goes for Elvis Presley sightings. You have to be a fan to see him in a truckstop.

Jamie Dawn, I know! I was a teen in the 80s. I never understood the grunge look of the 60s either. So I don't think it makes us old to simply say that clean and attractive should be the standard? I don't mean drop-dead gorgeous, I just mean presentable.

Fred said...

Boo to you, too. I'm actually blogging while answering the door. How's that for a Renaissance Man?

Lila said...

Hey, I dressed up as a piggy middle-aged American too!

michelle said...

Suarkraut,
The problem is fixed!!!!

Bryan said...

Hi Saur. In case you hadn't already figured it out, this is also my blog: http://yourstrulyforever.blogspot.com/

This one is just for light-hearted topics.

Bryan