Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Saur's Top 10 Reasons Why Heavy Metal is Better Than Rap

1. It takes a real man to sing about gouging his own eyes out. Only wimps with low self-esteem talk about how big their d*cks and their bank accounts are.

2. Heavy metal singers follow a tune. They may sing in a raspy voice, but at least they sing.

3. Heavy metal bands write their own music and aren’t lazy enough to ‘sample’ from songs out of the past.

4. Heavy metal bands usually pride themselves on being intelligent.
Angst-ridden, but intelligent. Rappers pride themselves on their lack of intelligence.

5. Heavy metal bands write better lyrics than rappers do. But if you’re limited to talking about the size of your d*ck and your bank account, maybe you wouldn’t be able to write quality lyrics, either.

6. Heavy metal bands have cool names like Saliva, Dysrhymthia, and 727. Rappers have names that sound like things kindegardners call each other.

7. Heavy metal bands don’t hunt each other down and kill each other like dogs. And most heavy metal musicians haven’t served time in prison. Well... if they have it wasn’t for killing a fellow heavy metal musician.

8. Most heavy metal musicians don’t wear gold caps on their teeth.

9. Most heavy metal music uses English as it’s primary language.

And the Number 1 Reason Heavy Metal is better than Rap:

10. Heavy metal bands have hot groupies who wear leather. Rappers have ho's and bitches.

I’ve Been Tagged!

Dddragon has tagged me.

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

My 23rd post was on June 30, 2005 (I have a couple blogs and wasn’t blogging daily in this one till June) titled War of the Worlds: Don’t Bother.

The fifth sentence was:

”I had intended to take my kids with me (it's rated PG-13) but I am so glad that I decided to check it out first.”

Wow, this is as bad as those emails that make you feel guilty if you don’t play along! At least Dddragon didn’t tell me I’d lose my toenails if I didn’t tag 5 other people! OK, I’m going to tag:

Mr. Gator
The Lazy Iguana

Let the plague spread! Mwahahahaha…


United We Lay said...

I tagged you back with new rules.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

"The name of this PG 13 movie was 'Bambi', and it was all about this guy who was carryin' some heavy metal for waging war on deer. I would never tout my kids on heavy metal."

mal said...

*pheww* ducked another one

I have never been a Heavy Metal fan, but I find most rap downright obnoxious. Your observation on intelligence is close. I personally think many of them are "Proud to be Stupid" a very endearing trait appreciated by all the "ho's" and "bitches" they rap about

michelle said...

That's a great list. The "Feel Good" song is the favorite at our house right now.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Michelle, thanks. I sat down and wrote it after I got SO sick and tired of hearing just one more illiterate rap song.

Mallory, ahh, be careful. You may get it next! *wink* You're right, of course. Sad, isn't it?

Old Hoss, where did that quote come from?

PC, I saw! I'll play. I'll do it tomorrow.

Fred said...

Hey, she told me I'd lose my toenails. Whassup with that?

What's wrong with ho's and bitches? :)

Saur♥Kraut said...

Fred, *LOL* Well, I was determined that I was going to maintain MY pedicure...

AP3 said...

I used to hate rap, but I eventually discovered that some of it is decent. Still, I don't own any rap CDs - and I have a huge CD collection! I have some heavy metal. So there you are.

The Lazy Iguana said...

I will deal with my tag on Friday :)

Saur♥Kraut said...

AP3 Yeah, I'll give you that. For instance, I like some crossover stuff like Linkin Park, and Will Smith is always talented. He's the exception though, not the rule.

Lazy Iguana, cool! Great series on the Coral Castle, BTW. I am always impressed w/ your blog.