A Friend's Response to Yesterday's Post

My friend "Marcus" is a highly intelligent recovering alcoholic/addict. I respect him and value his friendship, and I think he deserves to be heard. He chose to discuss yesterday's post with me in private, via email. Here is his note to me, and my response is at the bottom:

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Saur,

Suffice it to say that although I respect your opinion and the arguments you made in support of it, I disagree. I don’t have the time right now to research the equally impressive body of evidence in favor of the disease hypothesis (notice the terminology – I am not willing to call it a theory, that implies conclusive evidence). I will say this: The mere reality that so many medical professionals support the position does lend some credence, at least for me.

Beyond the scientific arguing, there is another reality that makes perhaps more sense, and that is perception. Alcoholism and addiction are obsessive/compulsive disorders – particularly nasty ones, but psychological disorders all the same. If one is will to grant disease “status” to the likes of bulimia, anorexia, obesity, compulsive shopping or shop-lifting, then addiction has to be included. If not, then the whole lot must be thrown out. But I’m ok with that.

As you know, I have dealt with addiction all my life. Even today, at two years clean and sober, it is a battle I must wage everyday. To me, you can call it what you want, at this point in my recovery it really doesn’t matter. Moral weakness? Perhaps it was. What is important is that when I first got into recovery – and it was a 12- step program that worked for me – it was functionally beneficial for me to view my addiction as a disease. It wasn’t to excuse my behavior to the rest of the world – it was a tool to get the footwork started.

Which brings me back to perception. In my mind, it was helpful to know (or think) that I had a condition that I was not responsible for. However, that is only the very start – immediately I must move beyond that to realize that although it may have been an inherited condition, the treatment is now my responsibility. That was the first time in a long time that I actually owned up to the fact that I must deal with a condition I am stuck with – like any other disease that demands treatment. Again, it was a necessary perception to get started.

From there I was able to take responsibility back in other areas of my life. I used to do things to get high that I would never do now - for any reason. I believe that I have high moral standards – always have. I was, for sure, taught them by my parents but also believe I was born with them as well. Regardless, I still crossed those imaginary lines repeatedly. I understand how these substances can overtake a person. However, I also believe there are bad people in the world and many of them are made worse by the dope – and are still bad if they get clean.

These are the ones that bring recovery, 12-step programs and other disorders a bad name. They go around doing shameful things and then say they can’t help it… they have a disease. They take what is a recovery tool and twist it into a perverse excuse to do as they please while whining to the many receptive co-dependants like Oprah that they are just as much a victim as the real victims. Spare me! Once an addict or alcoholic accepts the disease premise, he (or she) can no longer be a victim because proven treatment programs are available and they know it – but acceptance is the beginning. Accepting that one has a disease is one way of doing that. However – once I say that I have a disease – I no longer have an excuse for my behavior.

Which brings me to the strength vs. weakness argument. Something smacks of inconsistency when I am called weak for pursuing a lifestyle that is miserable, filthy, dangerous and painful. Indeed, it takes a fair amount of strength to maintain that lifestyle. I find it far easier to work and live in the daylight rather than the shadows. Why would anyone choose such a way of life? I can’t answer that question and I don’t know exactly what took me there – but I do know how I finally escaped - with my life. The sad fact is that the vast majority never make it back. My own brother is one – and I understand how the rest of the world feels because I often catch myself thinking the same of him – I have to stop and remember what it was like for me.

I don’t expect the rest of the world to stand up and applaud that I have found the help I need and can contribute to society in a meaningful way. In fact, I expect most to say “It’s about time,” and they’re right. However, for those who have never actually been there, it is impossible to relate – and I understand. My final point is this: If calling it a disease helps even one alcoholic or addict return to the world of the living, isn’t that worth it? Why not let them?

PS: I have no problem with you sharing this on your blog or elsewhere – I only ask that you leave my name out of it.

Thanks Saur…
You’re a good friend, and a very smart cookie!

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Marcus,

Thank you SO very much. I greatly respect you and your opinion and (since I have your permission) I will post this tomorrow (anonymously of course). I think you are very correct to lump this in with bulimia, anorexia, obesity, compulsive shopping or shop-lifting as well.

However, studies DO show that anti-depressant therapy does significantly reduce the eating disorders. This is also true for addicts and alcoholics, for the most part. That's because some (or even most) of them have a chemical imbalance in their brain which causes clinical depression. The addictive behaviors are a way to self-medicate this. The problem with self-medicating is that it often is an unregulated, poor solution with bad side effects. So certainly the treatment for such problems is not JUST admitting to wrong behaviors and choices, and sucking it up. What I'm saying is that no one should hide behind the shield of the "disease" label.

I think it takes MORE strength to admit you're wrong, and take the steps to live an honest, hardworking life than to pursue the pleasures of addiction. Because, let's face it, addiction is a poor attempt to solve life issues that would be better solved by turning to a higher power, and being responsible in daily living. I think it's a LOT harder to live that way, and I mean it.

I was worried about hurting you, because I consider you to be my friend. I hope I didn't. And I meant what I said when I said that recovering addicts are to be applauded because it takes WORK, dedication, and determination to make the daily decision to fight off the easy solution.

*hugs* -Saur

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There are a couple things I would like to add. In a sense this is merely semantics. Here's an exerpt of an exchange between Tracey and I yesterday:

Tracey: AA teaches that alcholism (or drug addiction for NA) is a condition (if you do not want to use the term disease) that is not curable,

Saur: Yes they do. And they're wrong. But the main reason they're not challenged is that everyone is relieved that what they're doing simply works! It doesn't mean they're right, though.

For instance, what if a savage discovers that penicillin cures venereal disease but mistakenly believes that the penicillin is something that forms on an orange that has been breathed on by an angel? Does it make the penicillin any less effective because the belief system is wrong? Still, if we know exactly what we are dealing with, we can treat it even MORE effectively than what we currently are doing.

Finally, even the concept of depression is simplified for the lay person. Often there are times that the question of when the chemical imbalance arose. Was it hereditary, or a result of poor choices which were made, that subsequently plunged the patient into the depression in the first place? In other words, alcoholics, addicts, bulimics, etc. may not have started out with depression but ended up with it as a result of their behaviors. Although this is beside the main point, it is interwoven with the "disease" concept.