Thursday, August 03, 2006


I was on the phone with Ozma's brother, Jack, last night, and he mentioned his friend Jean-Pierre. Although they've been friends for years, and I could've run across Jean-Pierre at any time, I never have.

Jack has so many Jean-Pierre stories that I could write a best-seller based on them alone. But the problem is that the way Jack tells them, they're hysterical. I don't know if I could do them justice. Perhaps I should simply finance his taping the stories, instead. Part of it is the wickedly funny French accent which Jack is able to do. You'll simply have to imagine it, I'm afraid. Think Inspector Clouseau.

Jean-Pierre prides himself on being a ladies' man. I should add that apparently his friends agree with this, but they still laugh about him. He's a good looking guy, very personable, who goes through women like a cold-sufferer goes through KleenEx.

When Jack first met him, Jean-Pierre's accent was much thicker and he was still struggling with the english language. Despite that, Jack was surprised to find that Jean-Pierre could pick up women anywhere. One of the earliest memories Jack has of Jean-Pierre was a shopping trip to Wal-Mart.

As Jack and Jean-Pierre were browsing, a drop-dead gorgeous blond wandered by. Jean-Pierre was somehow able to pull her into a conversation and soon she said, blushingly, "Here's my number. Do you want to get together sometime?"

"Surely!" said Jean-Pierre enthusiastically. "Do you whant to come up to mah plaize?"

The blond cooled off considerably after that. Later Jean-Pierre asked Jack "What? What deed I do? What es zee prooblem?"

"You might not want to ask a girl to come to your place right away," Jack said drily. "Try getting to know her first."

Apparently Jack's advice fell on deaf ears. And there are enough women who are willing to be arm-candy. Jean-Pierre will never be short on supply.


Ed Abbey said...

The only French accent I've heard around here is from Pepe LePew.

Grant said...

I wonder if a certain Japanese waitress would go for that.

R2K said...

I always talk to women with the "zee" accent.

mckay said...

i think i know, but are you referring to the accent of Sellers' or Martin’s Clouseau?

(yeah, that deleted comment above was me. i have a think about correct punctuation - except capital letters)

Kathleen said...

Yeah, an accent can be as effective as a man in uniform. In my experience it is a short-term destraction ... but, it can be pleasant for the moment. ;0)

Heather said...

Give me an Aussie accent and I'm yours.

Now I'm going to be hearing Pepe LePew in my head all day.

The Lazy Iguana said...

Think my thick American accent would work in France?

Zee razor es a good thing, no?

Senor Caiman said...

Does ya doug bite?



I thought you said ya doug doesn't bite!

Dats not me doug.

Fred said...

What's probably worse is my accent when I'm trying to speak French. Now, that's pathetic.

Tabasamu said...

That's very cute. There are some real charmers out there, that get women no matter WHAT they say.

Badoozie said...

no kidding, some women will go out with someone they meet in the grocery store. i'm amazed at how many will. we had a friend who would approach ladies in the store, and sure enough not only did they go out with him, but were more than willing to become nude on the first date. i find it sort of disgusting personally. i mean, come on. we're in the 21st century, has anyone heard of STD's?

Valerie - Riding Solo said...

A french accent will always get my attention....silly american female, me! LOL!