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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Saur Greeting Cards

I went into a nearby Winn Dixie yesterday to buy a new book. When I walked in, I was startled to see it was going out of business and there was really very little left but Haagen Daas Lite icecream and some sappy greeting cards.

I didn't think "Oh! Winn Dixie's closing after all these years! What a shame!" I didn't think "Oh goody! Lite icecream! I'm stocking up today!" No. I thought, "Well of course the sappy greeting cards were left behind. How many of these things does anyone buy in a lifetime?"

This got me to thinking. One of my blogging buddies, Jenn, is a cartoonist. She sells artwork to various greeting card companies. Jenn, this one's for you! I've gotcha covered, baby. Think big! Think Greeting Cards for the Disgruntled.

Hey! This would sell! Especially in the Tampa Bay Area, which was recently rated as one of the Top Angry Cities in the U.S.A. Now there's a distinction! Let's make the most of it!

Above are a couple sketches of mine (copyrighted, of course). Jenn, if you want first dibs, you'd better move quickly! I think Hallmark will be eyeing these.

I'd also like to see cards that say something like:

"If I never hear from you again... it will be too soon"

"You make me want to... become a nun"

"If you can read this card... you've come too close"

"If we were stranded on a desert island... I'd move to one side of the island and put up No Trespassing signs."

...and my all-time personal favorite: "If you and I were the only two people left on this earth... we would still have one person too many."

I read these over the phone to Rosie, who's still in the hospital. Here's her contribution:

"You should be the poster child for Planned Parenthood."

"You're like herpes: the gift that keeps on giving."

17 comments:

mal said...

A store closing is always a sad thing. I remember when all the Safeways were closing in Southern California, it was like a hole was left on the street.

Grant said...

Don't forget the ever popular "As you read this, I am sneaking up behind you with a garrote."

Reverberate58 said...

LOL You are on a roll today! I like the first one. It does convey a lot to have the illustration to it!

Jenn said...

hahaha... I like your doodles. The eye one is pretty gross... reminds me of garbage pail kids.

I have a card with a quote on it that says, "However fond we are of our loved ones, there comes in times of their abscence an incredible sense of peace." (I never have been sure who to give it to though).

Thank you for the ideas. I'm not sure about Hallmark, they look more up the alley of Nobleworks. (you can see those online).

~Deb said...

Someone's a little irritated today??? ha! That cartoon was funny...disturbing, but funny.

Since when is Winn Dixie CLOSING? That's odd. Aren't they the biggest chain in the south over there?

Saur♥Kraut said...

Deb, ;o) Glad you like my twisted sense of humor this morning. Actually, Publix and Albertson's are the biggest ones, I think. Publix is my fave. Winn Dixie's been struggling forever. When I think of Winn Dixie, I think of dirty floors, weird smells, and poor produce. It was the cheapest supermarket of the three; right above Save N' Pack.

Jenn, :D I've never heard of Nobleworks. I'll check 'em out! I like the card. I wonder if you could give it to your in-laws? Or, could I have it so I could give it to mine?

Reverb, I think illustrations add a great deal at times. I'm glad you agree! I can't wait to see Hallmark do the island card with the "No Trespassing" sign!

Grant, ooooh, I love it! Ya sick, twisted freak!

Mal, in this case, it's really no loss. See what I said to Deb about it.

Badoozie said...

oh, you have to open a cafe press shop with those wonderful cards, of love and joy. very lovely indeed. inspirational cards, that's what you should call them.

mckay said...

how about:
If you can read this card - then you've been served the enclosed restraining order.

or... - you've been served the enclosed divorce papers.

;0)

Ellen said...

Poor Winn Dixie... they were run out of town here too. Between Kroger and Publix, all the smaller chains just can't compete. Sad part is, both stores always end up opening up across the street from one another, as the competition is fierce between the two of them.

Lovely pictures, Saur. You really do have quite the talent in the drawing arena. I think we do need to have some cards that come to the point we are too afraid of saying out loud to people. Let the USPS do the dirty work of passing the message across.

jsull28fl said...

excellent drawings and the sentiment is right too. I can think of many times i needed a card like those, hell i can think of several folks right now i could send some to.
jsull

Nihilistic said...

Should I send you the address of the person you can send that card to??

Jamie Dawn said...

I like your ideas for sassy greeting cards. Sometimes we need to express emotions that are NOT loving and sappy. You could call your company Chicken Shit Greetings. Go for it! I'll be sure to buy some cards!!

Your self sketch for CarlyJo is so cute.
It has attitude!

R2K said...

I love your images, the best posts have the funny images.

Senor Caiman said...

Saur,

Excellent post.

~Deb said...

Okay, after telling me that the grocery store had dirty floors and mysterious smells---you just officially put my OCD into high gear. And now I have to go grocery shopping. *sigh*

Miss Cellania said...

The gift that keeps on giving. Thats a keeper! (so to speak)

Mr. Fabulous said...

Now THAT is a greeting card line!