Debra LaFave: The Molestor's Role Model

Yesterday it was announced that pretty Debra LaFave had won her recent court battle, and all charges (in Marion County) had been dropped. As many of you know, I discussed her case in an earlier post, so I won't go over the details now.

This is wonderful news for good ole Deb. Just look at that happy, relieved smile on her face! You might think she had just won an Olympic Gold Medal, if you didn't know any better. Oh! she added in afterthought, she did regret her previous actions. Just as if she was a Gold Medalist who'd been in the paper for partying too much. Looks bad, you know: Throw a sop to the puritans and admit it.

But Deb had a willing ally in her fight against justice which helped greatly: the victim's mother. Mom didn't want the publicity and so she fought against the court system, tooth and nail. Thanks to Mom, Deb won. Of course there were a couple other factors, as well. Deb is undeniably pretty, which made it hard for the public to take her role as a molestor seriously. Even the victim's mother expressed her surprise as to how pretty she was, and admits that she then immediately felt sorry for her.

Isn't it interesting how beauty can overcome so much resistance? As some of you know, I occasionally still model (my last gig was for a clothing company a year ago). I will admit that beauty sometimes unfairly opens doors. But my internal beliefs always demand that I still treat people honestly and ethically, no matter what.

Interestingly, studies show that beautiful people are usually viewed as more honest, reliable, and trustworthy. Of course most beautiful people take advantage of that, and use that mistaken belief to exploit situations (as Deb did, here). In my own personal experience, there are very, very few beautiful people who are of any value whatsoever. Most of them never had to develop any ethics, intelligence, or noteworthy skills, and so they didn't. Deb is no exception.

Happily, Deb still has to serve out her 3 years of house arrest (her charge was "Lewd and Lascivious Battery"), she remains a registered sex offender, and she can't profit from her crime for 7 years. But heck! It sure beats 20 years in the slammer, doesn't it?

So what can Deb teach the Modern Molestor?

1. Make sure you're pretty. If necessary, get plastic surgery. Try to get some sexy photos of yourself on a motorcycle.

2. Pick victims with parents who will dread the publicity. With any luck, you can get them on your side if you're ever caught.

3. It helps to be female, molesting a male child. So if you're a female molestor, you should be encouraged. That's when radio and TV talk show hosts start drooling all over themselves and talking about their adolescent fantasies (which they haven't outgrown yet). This will help sway public opinion immediately. Of course, see #1.

4. Pick a teenager so that it looks more like it might have been a blooming relationship instead of statutory rape. And make sure you've covered #2.

5. Talk about any mental illness you have, even if it isn't at all related to what you did. It helps if you can generate sympathy. Deb is bi-polar! So what if most bi-polar victims aren't child molesters? That doesn't matter! Just milk it for what it's worth and hope no one asks any real questions about your claim.

6. Be young, so that everyone (including the victim's parents) talks about youth, inexperience, and mistakes. If you're an old geezer, this won't make a good defense. But if you've covered the first 5 tips, you still may have a fighting chance.