Get This Book! Now!

Run, don't walk, to your nearest library or bookstore and acquire an edition of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss. You need it! And, certainly, if you don't need it, someone you know does. And for all of you who are teachers: This should be mandatory reading in all high schools and colleges.

I am a horrible stickler when it comes to proper grammar. Perhaps it's because I'm a writer and began my love affair with the English language at an early age. To me, there is nothing more important than a properly crafted sentence which will appropriately convey what the author is intending to communicate.

For instance, I have been highly fortunate to have a vast assortment of experiences. I have written a wide variety of things, including co-writing a couple songs which have been hits. However, it took years of silently biting the inside of my mouth to quietly abide with some of the lyrics that most of the musicians produce. I have been known to drive along in the car and loudly correct the lyrics of a hit song. My kids will roll their eyes but they know I'm right. They do!

When I hear rap songs, I cringe. Not because they're violent, but because they're violently assaulting the English language. I feel like writing to them and saying politely, "Excuse me, sir. You really need to re-write "Die, Honky, Die" because there are a few lines that are grammatically incorrect. Incidentally, I'll happily proofread all future lyrics at no charge whatsoever." Of course, their next song might be "Die, Grammatician, Die" but it's hard to rap using words of more than two syllables.

Now, don't say "That's all very well for you, you neurotic little linguist. However, I would rather spend my time playing in a shuffleboard tournament than read a book about punctuation."

Well, this book is a #1 New York Times Bestseller and is a British Bestseller. And for a good reason! Here's why (from the book's back cover):

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

This wonderful, humorous book will make you want to run right out and buy a fresh blue pencil for markups (this is what editors use). But even if you heroically restrain yourself from that, you will be glad you read the book. Trust. Me.

P.S. If you click on the link I put at the top for "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" you will be able to read excerpts from the book.