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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Get This Book! Now!

Run, don't walk, to your nearest library or bookstore and acquire an edition of "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" by Lynne Truss. You need it! And, certainly, if you don't need it, someone you know does. And for all of you who are teachers: This should be mandatory reading in all high schools and colleges.

I am a horrible stickler when it comes to proper grammar. Perhaps it's because I'm a writer and began my love affair with the English language at an early age. To me, there is nothing more important than a properly crafted sentence which will appropriately convey what the author is intending to communicate.

For instance, I have been highly fortunate to have a vast assortment of experiences. I have written a wide variety of things, including co-writing a couple songs which have been hits. However, it took years of silently biting the inside of my mouth to quietly abide with some of the lyrics that most of the musicians produce. I have been known to drive along in the car and loudly correct the lyrics of a hit song. My kids will roll their eyes but they know I'm right. They do!

When I hear rap songs, I cringe. Not because they're violent, but because they're violently assaulting the English language. I feel like writing to them and saying politely, "Excuse me, sir. You really need to re-write "Die, Honky, Die" because there are a few lines that are grammatically incorrect. Incidentally, I'll happily proofread all future lyrics at no charge whatsoever." Of course, their next song might be "Die, Grammatician, Die" but it's hard to rap using words of more than two syllables.

Now, don't say "That's all very well for you, you neurotic little linguist. However, I would rather spend my time playing in a shuffleboard tournament than read a book about punctuation."

Well, this book is a #1 New York Times Bestseller and is a British Bestseller. And for a good reason! Here's why (from the book's back cover):

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

This wonderful, humorous book will make you want to run right out and buy a fresh blue pencil for markups (this is what editors use). But even if you heroically restrain yourself from that, you will be glad you read the book. Trust. Me.

P.S. If you click on the link I put at the top for "Eats, Shoots & Leaves" you will be able to read excerpts from the book.

25 comments:

Lee Ann said...

I love this! I used to correct my ex's grammar all of the time. I could not help myself. I am absolutely positive it drove him mad.
This sounds like a great book, thank you for the reference.

Fred said...

Well. looks like I have a new book to read. I don't know if you had to diagram sentences in school, but I always found it fascinating to analyze sentence structures.

I'm such a nerd. (Shhhh...)

Ellen said...

Saurkraut- My Dad was a teacher, and constantly corrected our grammer. Since I thought he was the smartest man in the world, I was grateful that he spent the time to make sure I could hold my own in all verbal situations. There is nothing more powerful than the spoken word... spoken correctly!

Bravo for the post, I will look for the book on my next venture to Barnes & Noble.

Fred- I did have to diagram sentences in grammer school, and had a great love for it as well!
No, I do not classify that as being a nerd, only a man who loves his words!

Dave said...

I can’t copy a grammatically correct sentence from one page to another without making an error. I once played an English teacher on TV though. That book sounds interesting I might read it this afternoon.

That Fred is a weird Dude but I like his new picture.

Underground Logician said...

Saur:

If you like "Eats, shoots and leaves," you'd also love anything written by Richard Mitchell, the Underground Grammarian. I own two of his books, "Less Than Words Can Say," and "The Leaning Tower of Babel." He especially detests what he calls "the Divine Middle" tense. For instance, sentences that begin with "It has been determined that..." show no subject of who did the determining and that it cannot be disobeyed, leaving us with the conclusion that God made the decision...blame him.

You'd love his sense of humour and the way he rips into the educational establishment.

I think your grammar book is an excellent choice to help us write and speak because it undoubtedly helps us think.

mal said...

My salesman used to get annoyed with me when I wanted to proof all non routine customer correspondence. They usually got the "why" part after I sent the first few revisions back. They all improved or were "released". Always for other reasons.

I have to confess that I was emulating a former supervisor in doing this. He dramatically improved my correspondence skills.

Whistle Britches said...

My grammer is in the kitchen bakin' cookies.

Whistle Britches said...

My other grammAr is in there bakin' bread.

Deb said...

It's funny you posted this. I have this huge pet peeve against emails that friends send me. Most with those internet 'lingo' codes---which I have no clue what half of them mean, except for "LOL". I'm a big fan of the old fashioned way of 'spelling things out', instead of initializing everything.

Great post! I was laughing because of the emails I just received!

Thanks!

Saur♥Kraut said...

Uncle Joe, but where's your ant?

Mallory, this is so very true. Business people earn or lose respect due to their written communications.

Underground, I will definately check those books out!

Mr. Gator, oh and you're one to talk about weird. ;o) You'll love the book.

Ellen, you diagrammed sentences? I never could get the hang of all those branches. I was so happy to get a C and retire in that area.

Fred, not a nerd, but you would adore my mother (a former English teacher and current authors and book editor). She lived to diagram. I would watch in wonder. I never caught on, though.

Lee Ann, aren't we horrid know-it-alls though??? I do the same thing. The Other Half, who has atrocious vocabularly, blithely repeats the mistake and continues. ;o)

Saur♥Kraut said...

Deb, ;o) I know exactly what you mean!

Brianne said...

Yes, I'm one of the few college students who are also nit-picky about grammar and punctuation. My high school spent weeks on teaching correct comma use. Now I'm left with the ability to properly apply punctuation as well as catching everyone's mistakes. Which can be a bad thing.

I was looking for a new book to begin while I'm still on winter break. I'll have to check this one out! Thanks!

Katie said...

I love this book.

TLP said...

Yep. Great book. We've got it.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

I have heard that this book is indeed great.

Although grammer is something I am good at, spelling is quite another issue. I always say it is because I am fluent in Spanish.

Thanks for the blog link, saur!

Eddo said...

oH, this sounds like one I must have! Thanks Saur.

I got a 50 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble and I was wondering what to buy. I already have so many books to read that people have given me. I am currently reading Blood Memory by Greg Iles. But this one sounds like the perfect buy with my Christmas gift.

Lucy Stern said...

Sour, I am terrible with proper grammer. I suppose I had better go buy the book and see what it has to say.

Fred, I remember diagraming sentences and I was terrible doing it....

Justine said...

I love that book!

You might also enjoy Death Sentence and Weasel Words by Don Watson, about the decline of public language.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

Loved the post, love the book. Now I am waiting till morning so that I can get my wife's favorite "grammar" book and introduce it to your group. For "underground" that "It's been determined that" garbage has been an offshoot of the graduate thesis, which for years (nay, decades) avoided any thought that the writer should have a "person" or an independent thought.

Three Score and Ten or more said...

I apologize for the redundant "thoughts". It is late.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Grammer? Pah!

a

restriction on

my freedom





of

expression

Saur♥Kraut said...

Daniel, perhaps not! Perhaps it makes it easier to read, thereby making your ideas more palatable

to

the

reader!

3 Score & 10 not at all! Great thoughts!

Justine, I will try to hunt it down!

Lucy, *LOL* Not eveyrone has perfect grammar, and it would be a boring world if we were all Shakespeare.

Eddo, you'll love it! As will your talented and intelligent family, I'm betting. I've heard Illes is great! Is he?

Barbara, then you have no excuses to make. *I* certainly am not fluent in any other languages.

TLP & Katie, ringing endorsements from other literary souls!

Brianne, your writing style is lovely. It shows.

Davoh said...

Saur, that, umm sentence(?) has been around in Australia for quite some time, It usually refers to a 'boorish' sexual encounter; as in "He's a Koala.. eats, roots, shoots and leaves." but perhaps the triple entendre of 'roots' and 'shoots' may be lost on those not familiar with Aussie slang. The comma between 'eats' and 'roots', however, is crucial.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Who needs palatable...

Three Score and Ten or more said...

to those interested another, not similar, but just as effective is called THE TRANSITIVE VAMPIRE. To Daniel, nobody needs palatable but your audience (and not just in plays) because those who find it impalatable with "spew it out of the mouth". (or ear or. . . .)