Domestic Violence a Big Secret?

In a recent interview, recapping her beating by boyfriend Chris Brown, Rihanna says "Domestic violence is a big secret. No kid goes around and lets people know their parents fight. Teenage girls can't tell their parents that their boyfriend beat them up," according to The New York Post.

What?

Perhaps this is a cultural thing: I didn't grow up in Barbados as Rihanna did. What she considers to be normal is hardly the average American experience.

Of course there are cases in which domestic violence IS a big secret. But as a nation, we have grown much better about defining what it is, and what it isn't. In fact, we encourage people to cry "abuse" so often that there are times in which it has become like the Salem Witch Trials.

And it is easy to declare someone is abusive if it helps you get what you want: Does your mom demand you make your bed every morning? Threaten her with Child Protective Services! Does your wife want a divorce and you want the house? File a domestic abuse complaint with the court to have her forceably evicted!

On the other hand, there are genuine victims. We now have wonderful organizations that help abused women find shelter and jobs. In many states, stalking is now also considered to be abuse, which allows the victim additional protection.

And I have no doubt that Rihanna was abused.

But Rihanna's last sentence really seems to take it over the top. If, as a teenager, I had ever been beaten by a boyfriend, all I would have to do is tell my parents about it. They would have had the police at our door faster than you can say "body slam". And I firmly believe this is the way the vast majority of Americans would handle it.

But, sadly, we have become a nation of self-indulgent whiners. We can see this in the proliferation of daytime TV court shows and horrid train wrecks such as "Jon & Kate Plus 8". Marketing firms cater to this trend with slogans like "you deserve [fill in the blank]."

Why? Because we're special! We're unique! Just like everyone else!

This gullibility is alarming. Because we want to believe it, we do. It bars fact-checking because it reaches deep into our psyches and hits us where it counts.

Do we all truly believe, deep down inside, that we are better than everyone else? Yes: We all do. But it's up to us to realize that this instinctive belief is not the truth, and we must overcome this.

But I digress.

To sum it all up: Is Rihanna right? Is domestic violence a big secret?

No. Domestic violence has, for the most part, come out of the closet. And in the case of Rihanna, it is on page 1.

Going Rogue/Going Rouge

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin has come out with a new book, "Going Rogue". Judging from the comments that both conservative and liberal men make about her, I hope she has a few pictures from her swimsuit segment in that famous beauty pageant. Her book will be a sure-fire bestseller.

My colleague, "Sue", is a dead-ringer for Sarah Palin: So much so, in fact, that Sue is constantly waylaid in public by men begging for her autograph and asking for a picture with her. When we are in a business meeting, the men are inevitably staring at her until they finally screw up the courage to ask her "Why do you look so familiar?"

It is an amazing experience to be part of "Sarah Palin's" retinue.

But although Sarah Palin is a highly attractive, polished woman, I feel that there is less substance to her than I'd like. I admit immediately that I've not read her book yet (it's release is slated to be November 17th). However, it's not clear if we can really call it hers, as she had it ghost written by Lynn Vincent.

Interestingly, there's another book about Sarah Palin that will be released shortly. It's called "Going Rouge", and is supposed to be composed of a group of commentaries written about her by a group of people who are distinctively unimpressed with her.

Both books will be interesting to skim through... *ahem*, I mean read.

US Sponsors Plan to Restrict Free Speech

Goodness knows what I have, but that's why I'm not posting. See you on Wednesday, hopefully.

Meanwhile, I HIGHLY recommend that you read US Sponsors Plan to Restrict Free Speech. This affects us all.

The Strange Attacks Upon FOX

I am not a big fan of the FOX network. I prefer CNN news which, overall, seems to be more unbiased than the others. Yes, you do have the liberal wackos, but there are enough far right nut jobs to counterbalance them. Overall, most of what CNN produces appears to be middle of the road, which is fine by me.

But FOX Network seems to be in the crosshairs of the Obama administration. And while FOX tends to be more conservative-leaning, it is hardly the right wing conspiracy that Obama's group wishes to label it as.

Among attempts to demonize FOX, the Obama administration's Whitehouse.gov has an entire page dedicated to fact-checking Glenn Beck on a number of issues.

Additionally, Anita Dunn, the White House Communications Officer, made the improbable declaration "I mean the reality of it is that Fox News often operates almost as either the research arm or the communications arm of the Republican Party. When they want to treat us like they treat everyone else — but let's not pretend they are a news network the way CNN is." She has also stated "We're going to treat Fox News the way we would treat an opponent."

Does Dunn not realize that there are other news stations out there?

With irresponsible comments like this, can we really trust Obama's administration to make rational decisions in other areas?

Oddly enough, I don't recall a Bush administration site dedicated to arguing family values with Howard Stern. And as kooky as the Clintonistas got at times, I never saw an official site trumpeting "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!"

It is beneath the dignity of the executive branch to dally with such issues: Let the news organizations battle it out between themselves instead of wading into the dogfight.

President Obama, don't you have more pressing matters to attend to?

(Additional recommended reading: What Would Mao Do?)

Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth

I would love to keep this post up, but my attorney has advised me to remove it (at least for now). Thank you again for all your support in this matter.

Nobel Peace Prize Awarded to Obama

Way to go, Norway. You just awarded Obama with another incentive to continue to send money and troops overseas, despite his promises to the American people that he would bring change.

So far the difference between Obama and Bush is... very little. Oh he's pretty, all right: He looks good on camera and he's a wonderful orator. But Obama is all talk with very little substance. Even his liberal supporters are beginning to grumble. Loudly. Turn to the recent episode of Saturday Night Live to see a not-funny depiction of where they think he's going wrong.

Meanwhile, troops die in Afghanistan, still suffer in Iraq, and our monies continue to be funneled overseas to whatever particular cause the President thinks will make him look good. This isn't restricted to Obama, of course. He's only one in a line of weak-kneed Presidents who put everyone but their own citizens first.

We have entered into a Depression, we have more homeless than ever, and the best the government seems to be able to do is extend unemployment benefits for a little while longer. Since the Depression cannot lift for some time, all this will do is prolong the inevitable.

What the American public needs is real change.

Enough with the lauditory awards. Enough with the talk. Enough with throwing money at banks and institutions with vague promises that it will help the economy and increase jobs.

Obama will only deserve the Nobel Peace Prize when he brings peace to America.

Lindsay Lohan's Fashion Disaster

The diva we love to hate has just released her clothing line to a chorus of boos and cackles of laughter. She just doesn't "have it", according to all the fashionistas and critics who have unanimously weighed in against her.

Joining the dogpile are Style.com ("“a bad joke of a fashion show"), the New York Times (who compared this disaster to a fry cook attempting to cook at a high class restaurant), and the LA Times (who pointed out that Lohan was teary at the end, and certainly had a reason to be). Of course the clamor is endless, with everyone pointing and laughing.

But, although I despise Lohan due to her horrific personal choices, I must say that her fashion line looks no less disastrous to me than anything you can find in the pages of Vogue. I admit her choice to plaster sequined hearts onto her models' heads is quite silly, but so is much that we find on runways and on the backs of starlets everywhere.

My biggest concern about her fashion line is that it appears to be designed for real bodies, and looks a little out of place on the emaciated corpse-like bodies of her models.

The colors are horrific, the style is definately a throw-back to the 80s, but hello? Has anyone out there ever heard of Betsey Johnson, Maven of Tackiness?

To see Lohan's notorious line, go here.

Why Longer School Terms Are a Bad Idea

Lately there is a group of unlikely bed-fellows, including Newt Gingrich and Al Sharpton, who are advocating longer school days and less vacation time.

Their argument is that our youth is undereducated and can't compete effectively with the rest of the world. Therefore, their conclusion seems to be that we simply don't have enough time to teach. Gingrich points out that our current school year is outdated, and we need to spend more time in the classroom.

This argument is greatly flawed.

I have been active in both the public and private school systems. I have seen what works, what doesn't, and why it doesn't.

Our education standards are not poor due to time constraints. They are due to disciplinary problems. Many public school teachers have told me that they could get the instruction out of the way in half the time if their time wasn't occupied in discipline and ineffective attempts at creating order out of chaos.

Many students (especially in public schools) come from homes where order and self-control are not imposed. They are then unleashed on the world by parents who couldn't care less. The school system is then expected to make all the difference by catering to these children, while the children with better societal skills are neglected.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

What is truly pitiful is that teachers are pouring the majority of their time and energy into kids who, at best, will be saying "Would you like fries with that?" for the rest of their lives.

Those of us who finally decided to home school our children have found that we can give them the exact same education in half the time. This is why my son became a college freshman at age 15, with a 4.0 GPA.

If we want to reform the schools, we do not need to waste our childrens' time any more than we already do. Instead, we need to improve our disciplinary standards. We need to stop penalizing teachers from referring students to the Principal when they are misbehaving.

And ultimately, we need to rethink our "No Child Left Behind" policies. Some children need to be left behind. Some children will never amount to anything. And we need to come to terms with this, or all children will be left behind.

The Travesty of Bush Gardens' Howl-O-Scream

I love a good scare. I enjoy ghost stories and most horror movies, knowing that they aren't true and cannot be possible.

There are different theories as to why many of us love to be frightened. I believe that we enjoy being faced with the absolute worst, knowing that we can still emerge into the comfort of our own homes. It gives us a sense of power (which explains why this genre is especially popular among teenagers).

But at what point does horror become horrible?

I refuse to watch anything that celebrates the depravity of humanity. This includes torture and sadism, and it's why I won't watch anything from the Saw series of movies. And I worry that when we go down that road as a society, there is no u-turn. It numbs us to the true horror of such actions and allows us to easily excuse what generations before us would never have excused.

That's why I won't go to Bush Gardens' Howl-O-Scream any more. The last time I went (three years ago), I saw things that should give anyone with a conscience nightmares for a lifetime.

But Howl-O-Scream is big business. And apparently the meat-grinder mentality never goes out of style. So, Bush Gardens is more than happy to continue to churn out tableaus that would make the most seasoned homicide detectives blanch.

To add insult to injury, they have peppered the Tampa Bay area with billboards depicting viciously evil vampires. Imagine the reaction of the vulnerable toddler who sees these billboards out the window as Mommy drives to the grocery store. That should drive the nightlight sales through the roof.

What recourse does a parent have? They can't blindfold their children. They can't make the choice to not expose them to this garbage, even though they can limit their television and internet experiences.

Bush Gardens has come a long way since their inception as a family-friendly park. Now families come dead-last to the almighty dollar, thanks to capitalism at its finest.

As their 2009 motto says, "Evil never goes out of fashion."

Osama Bin Laden a Failure?

Time Magazine, in the same wisdom that it uses to proclaim the man and woman of the year (as if narrowing it down to one candidate is ever possible) has also declared that Osama Bin Laden is a failure.

How puerile and sickeningly smug of them.

On the contrary, Bin Laden has been appallingly successful. He was able to rile up uneducated, evil people to kill masses of innocents, all in the name of Allah. And he continues to do so. He serves as an inspiration to serial killers and conscienceless minions everywhere.

And his battle is not over. The war to take over the world and subject it to Islamic domination has only begun.

If we err in taking this man and his faith lightly, we will not win this war. We cannot forget, we cannot diminish the utter evil this man represents. It is an evil which is shared by many other Islamic leaders as well. It is an evil that can bring the world to its knees if we choose to disregard or dismiss it.

Highway Overpasses in Tampa: Progress?

Tampa is beginning to look like Miami. A slew of highway projects are coming to final fruition and we now have a confusing snarl of under and overpasses that we are trying to re-learn.

I found myself taking the wrong turn and having to renavigate my way through Tampa twice last week. As a result, I lost at least an hour of travel time, if not more.

Tampa's road engineers apparently are the not the cream of the crop. These must be the "C" students: The ones that barely graduated. How else can you explain the off-ramps that go in the opposite direction of where they used to be placed? The needlessly long treks you must endure before you can find a way to turn around? The confusing lack of signage or signage placed in the wrong areas?

Just as I dislike travelling through Miami, travelling in Tampa has become a nerve-wracking strain. I pity the poor tourists who will be navigating through Tampa on the way to Pinellas County's famous beaches.

The President's Speech to School Children

There is a great old Southern word: Hootenanny. Ignore the official dictionary definitions. What it really means is a big fuss (good or bad). It can refer to a party or a riot.

Aren't you glad I gave your vocabulary a boost? This is your official Word For The Day. You use it like this:

Conservative talk show hosts are having a fit over Obama's upcoming speech to school kids. As a result, they're getting so many parents riled up that it's becoming chaos for those poor souls who answer the phones at our schools. Yup: It's a big hootenanny.

What is happening to our country? First we're dumb enough to elect Obama (a man with little experience and communistic leanings). Now we're overreacting like brain-dead rednecks.

I suppose both phenomenons can be attributed to the same source: A lack of education and the dumbing down of America.

The President's speech is no big deal. Certainly the controversy may have helped to force him to tone down his speech: We will never know what he originally intended to say. We only know that now he is focusing on something relatively inane.

But anyone with intelligence knows that the President's speech could not be full of communistic advice and fascist urgings. It would be a political death sentence and Obama's no fool.

I understand why some people got a little queasy when they heard that teachers would be following up with questions after the speech. These questions (suggested by the White House) could definitely be construed as an attempt to indoctrinate kids and perhaps pave the way to "The Cult of Personality" that so many people are citing.

On the other hand, I have raised my children* to be objective and thoughtful, so I wouldn't have worried.

The hippies had it right: Question Authority. A good teacher would also enforce this. But this message, if it comes from the home, should be enough.

With the dumbing down of America, we are leaving way too much power and authority in the hands of the government and there is too little personal responsibility. Until we start raising our standards in our homes, nothing will change.

* I have one of my own, and another that I have taken under my wing since she was five.

Kennedy Expresses Regret for Chappaquiddick

How convenient. Ted Kennedy finally gets around to apologizing in his posthumous memoirs.

The problem is that we will never know the entire truth about Chappaquiddick. (For a good, short article which raises more questions than it answers, go here).

But for someone who was supposedly truly regretful during his lifetime, Ted never showed it. He was famous for asking people if they'd heard any new Chappaquiddick jokes. And he certainly never tried to make amends financially (or in any other manner) to Mary Jo Kopechne's family.

Kennedy wanted these memoirs to be published posthumously because he was hoping that history would somehow treat him more kindly than he deserved.

Sorry, Ted. I'm not buying it.

Ray Garton: Violent Porn Disguised as Literature

I read whenever I get the chance. I go through a book a day, at times. So recently when The Dollar Tree had a bunch of paperbacks for only $1 a piece, I snapped them up. If something's not worth reading, I can always give it to charity or throw it away if it's a true piece of garbage.

Most of them are true pieces of garbage.

I read a wide variety of books, with the exception of autobiographies: Spare me from autobiographies. But at The Dollar Tree, I found a huge amount of horror and Sci Fi novels, and bought about ten of them.

As yet, I've skimmed through all of them because they're simply not worth reading.

There is one author that stood out among the rest: His name is Ray Garton.

Garton apparently won The World Horror Convention Grand Master Award. Did they honor him with this award after reading his novels? I hope not. Because these novels are violent porn, disguised as literature.

In one novel that I've skimmed so far, Garton has anally raped two heroines, followed by gang raping them (using thirteen men). In the coup de grace, he viciously decapitated one and mailed her head to her husband. The other was then repeatedly raped by a woman. Oh, and did I mention that Garton is highly descriptive?

In another of his novels, a victim is brutally raped by a werewolf in the first chapter.

Garton attempts to take no responsibility for these actions by portraying the men in these women's lives as being very sympathetic. It's almost as if he's saying "See? I'm on the good guy's side!" while he's relishing the details of the vicious rapes. This also allows the male reader to say and do the very same thing.

This literature should hardly be on The Dollar Tree's shelves. In my youth, it would have been hidden in the back of the bookstore, in the Adult section (at best). Now it's available to anyone who accidentally picks it up, believing it to be a "bargain".

Garton mentions his wife at the beginning of his books. He extols her praise and thanks her for her support. Really? She's supportive of this? She should not be supportive of this, or any other such garbage which relishes the brutalization of women.

Shame on Garton, shame on his wife, and shame on The Dollar Tree for selling such evil.

Jaycee Dugard: What Elizabeth Smart Could Have Become

(age progression from age 11 to age 25, courtesy of the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children)

Many of us were stunned to find that Jaycee Lee Dugard was alive after eighteen years. She was kidnapped at age 11, and is currently 29 years old. If I had been her mother, I would have given up all hope. And I believe where there's life, there's hope.

However, at this point, she and her two children will need a lifetime of therapy to even begin to approach normalcy.

The picture above would only show Jaycee the way she would look in ideal circumstances. However, as details have emerged, it has become apparent that she and her children have led a life of great deprivation. She can hardly be expected to look this good.

During her time in captivity, she was repeatedly molested by her kidnapper, Phillip Craig Garrido. As a result, she produced two daughters: A fifteen year old that was born when Jaycee was only fourteen years old, and an eleven year old.

Phillip Craig Garrido was reportedly very "religious" (as Elizabeth Smart's captor was) and that's what ultimately was his undoing (just as it was the undoing of Elizabeth's captors).

As more details emerge, it becomes increasingly obvious that Jaycee cooperated with her captors just as Elizabeth did. And yet, Jaycee was also very cooperative with the legal authorities as well, which shows that her brainwashing wasn't complete.

Perhaps Elizabeth Smart, now a successful and mentally healthy college student, will be willing to meet with Jaycee as she sorts out the nightmare that she has lived for eighteen years.

Most of us find such an experience almost beyond imagining. But perhaps most amazing of all is the revelation which came to parents who had mentally buried their daughter many years ago.

Recent Celebrity Death

Michael Jackson Was Murdered

The official report is that MJ was murdered due to a massive drug overdose at his request. Yes, MJ's doctor administered the fatal dose. But even though drug dealers might hand an addict that final, lethal dose... it is the addict's choice to take it.

Should his doctor be charged? Yes, of course.

But at what point do we hold the "victim" responsible as well? Let's not lose focus on the fact that MJ made some horrific lifestyle choices that finally caught up with him.

Ted Kennedy is Dead

Ted's moved on to the great Chappaquiddick in the sky. Years ago I watched a very disturbing movie called "What Dreams May Come." It doesn't show the classic version of hell: Instead, hell becomes whatever your worst fears are.

Will Mary Jo Kopechne be there to greet him with open arms or will his version of hell find him eternally drowning in the same car he left Mary Jo to die in?

I can't help but believe that Ted didn't end up in a happy place, despite what others may protest.

He will now be eulogized with great fanfare, and the only thing sweeter will be the sugary frosting on a cheap bakery cake.

But all I can think about is Mary Jo Kopechne: Alone, cold, trapped, and drowning.

Artist Jane Wooster Scott: Racist?

As most of you know, I am a moderate. I also have a great deal of common sense, which is why I don't scream "Fire!" in a crowded theater, or "Racism!" unless it's blatant.

But I was shocked to find a famous Americana artist had recently produced a work of art that appears to me to be questionable at best.

My best friend (Pov) has a teenage daughter who is obsessed with jigsaw puzzles. Knowing this, we all buy her jigsaw puzzles whenever we can. If I opened a Christmas present to find a jigsaw puzzle, I would be sorely disappointed. However, there is nothing that Bugs likes better. A friend of her mother's recently donated over fifteen puzzles, and Bugs got to work.

The problem with Bugs' puzzle obsession is that once they're assembled, she can't bear to take them apart. That means that either her mother or I end up spending vast amounts of time covering the puzzles in Mod Podge and mounting them so that she can either keep them, give them to friends and family, or donate them.

This weekend I decoupaged about ten puzzles. I ran it like a production line, which is why I didn't notice this puzzle until the Mod Podge had dried. It's titled "Flights of Fancy." (click on the picture to view it in a larger version):


Now: What is wrong with this picture? (Hint: Look at the roller coaster)

That's right. The Confederate Flag is pasted all over it. I've written about the Confederate Flag before. I find it to be offensive for two reasons: It is a defeated flag, and it has become a symbol of racism.

But I thought, "OK. There are still some simpletons who think that it's 'charming'... that it's symbolic of a culture and not overt racism." So, I looked for the token black person(s) that might offset it.

I can't find any. And I looked over this puzzle diligently.

Could this be a simple oversight? Possibly. But I find the combination highly distasteful, none the less.

Perhaps Wooster Scott would argue that this is supposed to be a piece of Americana before (or during) the Civil War. However, the outfits are post Civil War era. I grant you that this was definitely a time of racism, but do we really want to celebrate it?

I am amazed that Wooster Scott's paintings are so popular. They're hardly my style. I enjoy art that appears to take true time, maturity, and thought. Her artwork looks as if a sixth grader did it. I would praise the sixth grader, but I can't praise a full-grown adult who produces such primitive art.

However, her paintings are apparently collected by some major celebrities, including "Marty Allen, Marlon Brando, Carol Burnett, Robert Conrad, Charlton Heston, Paul Newman, Leonard Nimoy, Victoria Principal, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sidney Sheldon, Nancy Sinatra, Sylvester Stallone and Loretta Swit... the list goes on."*

I wonder which one has Flights of Fancy hanging in their living room?

* from mgcpuzzles.com

No Privacy With Blogger

By now, most of you know of the Liskula Cohen case in which she sued Google and succesfully won the right to discover the identity of a woman who was making disparaging comments about her online.

Were those comments accurate or slanderous? Not knowing Cohen, I couldn't say. But I do know that Cohen has dealt a severe blow to anonymity on the net.

For many who treasure their anonymity, this will mean a rush to alternative solutions such as IP anonymizers, but even those are not infallible.

I am not ashamed of what I write, but I hide my identity due to other reasons. For instance:

1. There are some groups that I definitely disagree with. These are groups who are not known for their debating skills or honesty. At best, they can harass you in unpleasant ways which make you wish you hadn't spoken up at all. At worst, their idea of a good debate can end with someone beheaded.

2. I am a professional business person. It is always wisest to never leave a trail that a potential client or employer may disagree with. Although it is smart to keep your opinions to yourself in the workplace, this rule should not bleed into your personal life. Writing under a pseudonym gives us all the opportunity to be ourselves without worrying about how it may impact our livelihoods.

Ultimately, honest opinions may be labeled as hate speech. At that point, none of us will be safe. Are you gay and you hate organized religion? Wait until the Catholic Church sues you.

Are you a Baptist who speaks out against Muslim repression? Wait until someone from the local mosque decides that he should put a fatwa (i.e. "hit") out on you and your family.

The KKK could target blacks, the Black Panthers could target whites.

Liskula Cohen's case is complicated by the fact that she's a minor celebrity. It's generally agreed that the public is free to speak about public figures. If not, Perez Hilton is out of business. But there are so many gray areas that it's safer to speak freely behind the mask of an assumed identity.

Blogger may have just taken away this freedom.

What is Really Going On With the Healthcare Protesters

We see it everywhere in the news: Protesters are showing up at townhall meetings about healthcare and are making spectacles of themselves. The left accuses the right of orchestrating the protests, the right declares that even the average person sees the flaws in the proposed system and the rioting is simply natural.

How can the "average person" see those flaws?

An article in CNNMoney.com, titled 5 Freedoms You'd Lose in Healthcare Reform, states "To be sure, it isn't easy to comb through their 2,000 pages of tortured legal language." If so, then how can the average Joe be showing up at the townhall meetings to protest all the problems in the proposal? Surely it's obvious that he's been given a translation... slanted, of course, from the viewpoint of the translator.

I don't believe that Obama's proposal is completely perfect, and the CNN article certainly highlights some of the flaws. But we are not dealing with rational people or rational arguments when we involve rhetoric.

I am tired of seeing Big Business paying off enough people to smother any true debate. And I'm not saying that the individual protestors are being paid to protest. Most of them are entirely unaware that they're being manipulated, even as they think their opponents are being manipulated.

But the people doing the manipulation (such as conservative talk show hosts) are being paid either directly or through the magic of influence peddling. And, sadly, they are working up those individuals who are enjoying their 15 minutes of fame. Don't believe it? Take a look at this highly transparent interview between Sean Hannity and Katy Abram.

Are these protestors any better than the average street Muslim in a third world country who gets worked up after a rousing Friday sermon by his local Imam? Yes, because they aren't being incited to mayhem and murder. But these "Average Joes" seem to be almost as pliable.

I am a conservative-leaning moderate who is opposed to some things on each side of the aisle. There is an article by Joel Kotkin that beautifully sums up my current viewpoint of the system, and I can't recommend it highly enough. Kotkin points out the flaws in both parties right now, and I wish it were mandatory reading for everyone on Capitol Hill.

Until we find a true party that represents the people, we are doomed.

Currently, we have none.

What is a Slumlord?

I own a mobile home in a very bad area. I had purchased it for my "friend", Zen, because she needed it (it was a rent-to-own arrangement). Zen then went on drugs (as did her son) and they trashed it and stopped paying on it, and I was forced to evict them. Now I'm stuck with it.

I could have sold it already, but because Zen owed me so much money, it would've been a terrible loss. So, I decided to rent it out while I figured out what to do. Finding a decent renter in that neighborhood was difficult, but thankfully the police have been intent on cleaning up that area by harassing everyone who sets foot there. This isn't necessarily the right way to do it, but I have access to a little higher quality renter as a result of it.

Still, there is little profit to be made there. Although it's one of the nicest trailers in the park, it has termites. It's expensive to treat termites (you have to tent the place) and because all the other trailers have them, it's only a matter of time before they infest your property once more. So, I do alternative treatments which aren't as effective but are not cost prohibitive.

Does that make me a slumlord?

At the risk of self-justification, I'd say no. I'm doing the best with what I've got. It's not as if I'm rich or will get rich by renting the @%$& thing.

So what is a slumlord?

Today the St. Pete Times has an article on a local would-be politician, Fabian Calvo. They say he's a slumlord, and from the description, I have to agree. If these are his business practices, let's hope he can never make any decisions on behalf of us. What's scary is that this guy is a conservative politico, full of rants and raves against liberals and "socialism".

Gee, thanks, Calvo. You are the reason we moderates are moderate.

What's amazing to me is that this idiot actually is running for a House of Representatives post. Obviously he'll never get it now (I hope) but the fact that he had the chutzpah to run at all simply amazes me.

Governmental Contracts

I spent all day yesterday going over a contract that was issued by Pinellas County (which is part of the Tampa Bay area). By the end of it, my head was swimming.

There were so many errors, omissions, and downright disagreements in that contract that it took pages to document it all.

I'm a moderate that believes in governmental healthcare (I've discussed this previously) and I think that we desperately need to reform our healthcare system. I've heard the conservative pundits claim that over 80% of us are insured and I know that this is not true. I've seen the evidence to the contrary and I find it remarkable that someone can repeat such a fabrication with a straight face. In fact, experience alone has shown me that this simply is not the case.

But insurance companies make a huge profit (they are known as "The Silent Bankers" among financiers) and you can be guaranteed that they are throwing everything they can into the fight, including paying off whomever they can to spread their message.

On the other hand, the system will need to be run efficiently and well and common sense will be required. They cannot do as they have always done by giving contracts to the lowest bidder, as this results in a continual drop in the quality of service. There must be a better way.

And the government must do the same with their personnel: Cheapest is by no means best. A poorly paid employee is no bargain. At best you have an employee filled with resentment who is continually looking for work elsewhere. At worst, you have someone who has been promoted to his level of incompetancy.

To do governmental healthcare the right way, the government needs to rethink it's entire system. If they don't, they might as well hand it over to Pinellas County.

Swamp Cabbage Recipe

I was talking to a co-worker at lunchtime and by the end of it all, I was positively drooling. First he shared his recipe for Lo Mein, which is basically cooked wheat pasta with stir-fried chicken breast and assorted vegetables in sesame oil with appropriate seasonings. Then he talked about Jamaican Jerk Pork.

Since he was so into cooking, I shared an old "Cracker" recipe.

Crackers are true, deep-south Florida natives. They're pretty rare these days, as most of them have died out and those of us who are natives in this area usually have parents who were northerners or were influenced by yankees as we were growing up. An old-fashioned Cracker talks with a deep drawl and usually grew up with no air conditioning in the middle of scrub palmettos, rattlesnakes, and pine trees.

Years ago, my ex-husband worked with an old Cracker. He shared a recipe with us that we absolutely love. It's something his mother and her mother before her used to make. They used "Swamp Cabbage" (which is the heart of the palmetto tree) but now we use regular cabbage.

Take a pound of smoked bacon, and chop it up. Fry it until it's crispy, draining the fat regularly into a mug or bowl. Make sure you wipe the side of the pan whenever you drain it, as the fat will drip on the burner and smoke.

Remove the cooked bacon and drain it on paper towels. Pour enough bacon grease back into the frying pan to cover it. Take at least half a head of cabbage, chopped, and put it into the frying pan along with generous amounts of salt and pepper. Keep stirring it until the cabbage has been reduced and is translucent. Add more cabbage, grease and seasonings as desired.

When all the cabbage is cooked down, stir the bacon back into the mix and serve with baking powder drop biscuits on the side.

Voila! Heart attack on a plate ... and it's sinfully good.

Needless to say, we eat this only once a year.

Tidbits

Florida Highway Patrolman Fired Because He Didn't Give Out Enough Tickets

An FHP trooper was let go primarily because he didn't meet his ticket quota. I love this validation of what many of us know but police departments deny: Cops do have ticket quotas.

Teenagers are Nature's Form of Birth Control

I've been having problems with Sonosaur lately, and was complaining to my mother. "Oh, we understand," Mom assured me. "One day after a difficult battle with you, your father turned to me and said 'Why didn't we just go bowling on the night she was conceived?!' ...and he hates bowling."

I Will Blog on Wednesday and Friday This Week

My apologies for neglecting you. I've been swamped with work, but it's no excuse when I can write something short and pithy, grab a cup of coffee, and hit the door. I'll be blogging regularly from now on.

Snail Mandelbrot Icecream

Lately I feel as if what I'm hearing from our leaders is nothing but a series of pithy sounding words and phrases, strung together in an attempt to sound more knowledgeable than they are.

What's new, right?

We are facing the world pandemic of Swine Flu which is destined to be extraordinarily serious, there is a new strain of the AIDS virus, and the pneumonic plague (which kills in 24 hours) has resurrected itself in a small town in China.

However, today everything goes on as it always has. Hillary Clinton has declared that we're "committed" to Africa's future. Yeah, we should be committed all right: Africa has little to offer us (except new versions of AIDS) but we are bound and determined to lavish attention on them. Why? It's not simply because Obama's relatives reside in Africa, because this sort of stupidity took root in the Bush administration.

The big news is the debate over the "successful" Cash for Clunkers program. How successful is it? It depends on who you ask.

There are some very good reasons why Cash for Clunkers is detrimental to our society, but even so, I am not going to stand on principle. If it's around when I'm ready to take advantage of it, I'll do so. But throughout this debate all I hear is a great deal of waffling without openly addressing the true concerns that arise from this program. Instead, the real issues are discussed in print by the people who cannot make the decisions for us.

How about a little attention to the genuinely serious issues, guys? I think we're going to need it. Right now we're looking at worsening economic conditions, potentially serious plagues that will or can find their way here combined with a lack of decent health coverage, and a rising sense of hysteria among the jobless.

But obstreperous juju masticus is key, while finagling the snitterbawls in August. I believe that we are perspicacious when we say that it is all purely scatalogical.

Hamster on a Wheel

I wish I could post more than I do, but it's next to impossible lately. The company that I work for part time has engulfed me and I find that I am often up at sunrise, and working til sunset and beyond.

I was hired as a consultant and general Jack-of-All-Trades for this business, but it may have been too late. The business was already floundering and it may be that nothing can bring it back. I am too busy putting out fires to help push us ahead. I'm exerting energy but getting nowhere.

All this, and that company may still go under. This economy is destroying so many of us, and the businesses we work for and there is no end in sight. Frankly, I think things will get worse and (unlike government predictions) they may never get better. We may be seeing an entire restructuring of the way that we live.

How's that for your Happy Friday post?

Obama Takes Time for a Beer

Barack Obama has decided that he needs to take important time away from the health care debate, the economy, and world events and turmoil. What's so important?

A beer with a disgruntled, racist black Harvard professor and the cop that was forced to arrest him.

Now the press is breathlessly speculating on what beer Obama will choose. ABC News pronounces that Obama's choice of beer could make or break a particular brand.

Puhleeze. Who cares?

One thing's for sure: He won't be choosing Colt 45.

Why is Obama taking such a personal interest in this fracas? Because he foolishly opened his mouth (before he knew all the facts) to chide the police for arresting the idiot. Now he's saving face.

And they say racism isn't dead. I agree: Obama is living proof of that.

If the officer had any guts, he'd turn down the invite... whether Obama's serving Colt 45 or champagne.

The Latest Harry Potter Movie Has No Magic

I am the only one in my family that likes the Harry Potter series.

My son doesn't like the series, which has always puzzled me. I chalk it up to his father, who is a Christian extremist who used to tell him that Harry Potter was "of the Devil" (so to speak) and wouldn't allow him to read the books when he was younger, no matter how much I fought it or tried to explain the concept of "fantasy".

So, when "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" came to the theatre, my best friend Pov was kind enough to text me a reminder and ask if I wanted to go. Sonosaur remained silent on the issue.

Deciding that opening night would be insane, we opted to go the next night, dragging our children with us. Needless to say, Sonosaur was less than thrilled but at least I didn't have to literally drag him through the theatre.

When the exhaustingly long movie ended, I felt forced to apologize to everyone for it. Here I'm the fan, and I was bored silly.

I think the primary problem behind it is that Harry Potter himself has lost his wonder of it all. He is no longer enchanted by what the latest potion can do. He is not amazed any more by the fabulous toys and gadgets. And since we see everything through the eyes of Harry Potter, we find ourselves a little jaded as well.

Additionally, the actor who plays Harry Potter has not turned into a talented actor in his older years. Daniel Radcliffe's acting is wooden, and even his laughter rings false. Perhaps there is no amount of coaching in the world that will solve that, but I would think the studios should be hell-bent to try.

When he was not in the Harry Potter series, Daniel was busy acting the fool by appearing in "Equus", a horrid, esoteric stage play in which he got to prance about naked. Perhaps this hasn't helped his acting ability. It's a great shame, as he's surrounded by talent.

I am sorry to say that this may be the last Harry Potter movie I ever choose to see in the theatres. Like other movies that are suspect, I will wait till the next ones come out on DVD.

Gold Isn't the Answer: Barter Is

It's bad everywhere, I realize that. But it keeps getting worse. Here in Florida, state unemployment is the highest since 1983, and the Unemployment Benefits office is besieged by calls. Their volume is so high, it's making the news.

Everywhere you go, every discussion turns to the economy.

My best friend, Pov, just lost his job.

I still have my two jobs, but the new one may not last long because the owner, Claire, is out of cash and can't even make the current payroll.

The two luxury yacht salesmen I know have lost their jobs. This is truly a bad sign, because (in general) wealthy people keep spending no matter what.

In the thrift stores, signs are posted begging for donations. No one is donating right now because everyone is hanging on to what they've got, putting off replacing whatever it might be.

I recently went to Synovus Bank to cash a check. While I was there, the teller leaned over and confided to me that they had all just had a pay cut but it was better than losing their jobs altogether. I didn't know this woman - she's a total stranger who apparently is on the edge.

I was in the store the other day and a pleasant-looking older woman accosted me, begging me to pass on her personal information if I knew of any jobs out there. "I'll do anything," she emphasized. "Scrub toilets, whatever it takes. I'm desperate." She was a former cosmetics counter manager for a major department store.

This is what networking has come to. We no longer want to find a better job: Any job will do.

You hear shills on the radio encouraging you to invest in gold. Sure! I'll just take that extra several thousand dollars I've got stuffed in my mattress and I'll buy a couple of coins.

Obviously buying gold isn't the answer, but it's unaffordability is only one reason. Here's another:

Gold is not a common currency, so you'll have to eventually convert it into cash anyway. And if cash is worthless at that point, you can't even do that. All you will be able to do is trade it.

At that point, good luck finding someone who is willing to trade for a solid gold coin. You might find the occasional person who will, but they will be very subjective in evaluating what that gold coin is worth to them personally. They will know that it's not an easily tradeable commodity and that will actually devalue your "investment".

If we're returning to the economy of the early 80s, we need to look to the solutions they had in the early 80s. Barter became the solution to many problems, and it probably will again.

What was bartered? Services and items. Couches that at one time would have ended up in thrift stores were bartered for computer services. Haircuts were bartered for home-cooked meals or babysitting services.

There were two types of bartering groups:

1. The kind that directly exchanged services and goods.
2. The kind that converted all services and goods into "Barter Bucks" that could be spent at will among other members of the group.

My ex-husband and I belonged to both types of groups. The second was a much superior idea, but it only works when a large number of people have banded together. This would work, for instance, with Craig's List participants, but Craig's List would have to see a need for this and create it.

It's time to get out some of the old ideas and dust them off once more. It's time to get creative.

The Inhumanity: Corporate "Homemade" Food

I am so very sick of hearing people say "Oh the humanity!" whenever there is something horrible that has occurred. I hear it echoed on the radio, in ads, and on television. It makes my skin crawl because, of course, the true phrase is "Oh the inhumanity!"

Of course it could be argued that the human race is intrinsically evil and it's much more accurate to bemoan it by saying "Oh the humanity". More accurate, perhaps, but it's certainly not what the original phrase intended. It was predicated on the mistaken belief that people are inhumane when they do something evil.

Which leads me to another grammatical pet peeve of mine:

How is it that corporations and restaurants can boast "homemade" anything? Do they farm it out like a cottage industry to little old ladies on social security? Is each batch specially whipped up in a warm, clean kitchen in someone's home? I picture little old ladies everywhere, bringing vats of soup to the backdoors of restaurants throughout the nation.

In my kitchen, as I write, there is a large box of "homemade" pecan brittle by Russell Stover. My, but those little old ladies are busy. You'd think a corporation as big as Russell Stover could find a more efficient and cost-effective way to produce the stuff.

Oh the inhumanity!

A Successful Blackberry Transfer from Sprint to Metro PCS

I finally got my Crackberry back. I am relatively happy now, though there are minor glitches which are probably due to my converting it from a Sprint Blackberry Curve to a Metro PCS one. The biggest problem I have is that I can't seem to download the applications needed connect it to my Gmail account and I have to access the web to get to my email.

By my calculations, it has to hold up for 9 months for me to break even. I'm not worried about that: This thing seems to be highly durable. I already dropped it from shoulder height to a tiled floor and it didn't even get a nick. Of course I am a notorious klutz...

The shady operation that performed the transfer tried to ding me for another $25 on top of their original $75 charge because it was somehow more difficult to do than they originally anticipated. After I threw a total fit in their lobby in front of three other potential customers, they let it go for $75.

Overall, I spent $275 in lieu of the $400 that Metro PCS would have charged. Some might sneer at a savings of $125, but it's still a savings and I'm happy.

Michael Jackson: Dead Freak

I wasn't going to talk about Michael Jackson any more. Really. But some idiot keeps attempting to post something that goes like this:

"Leave Michael ALONE! He is DEAD! Let that man rest in PEACE!"

It reminds me of the "Leave Britney Spears ALONE" whiner on YouTube.

Since when are we supposed to rewrite history? If we are banned from telling the truth about people after they're dead, let's throw out the history textbooks. If we're going to apply that rule to everyone, then:

1. Hitler was a talented architectural artist, with a great taste in classical art, and was a military genius.

2. Marilyn Monroe was a virginal, innocent beauty.

3. American slavery never existed. After all, all those slavers are dead now. In fact, should we call them slavers? Perhaps "People Merchants" is a more politically correct term.

Spare me from fools.

As I wrote before, it is not possible to exploit Michael Jackson. The man begged for publicity. He even demanded that MTV begin calling him The King of Pop. What, you thought that title came from nowhere? I want to be called The Grand Poobah, but MTV isn't returning my calls right now.

Yes, Jackson's daughter proclaimed him to be the best father in the world. But what could she compare him to? It's not as if she had a normal childhood, and kids are notoriously gullible. For all she knows, it's normal to live in seclusion, wear mardi gras masks in public, and have a black father who pretends he's a white woman. And perhaps Jackson didn't molest her: He was notoriously fond of boys.

Interestingly, McCauley Culkin didn't attend the memorial service and has issued no statements about Jackson's death, despite his former public (and probably paid-for) statements denying that Jackson had ever molested him. And people who were molested as children often have very conflicting emotions about the molestors, for varying reasons. If he was molested by Jackson, I'm sure that Culkin wants to put this behind him.

So what if Jackson was beaten by his father? Many people were abused as children but made the choice to live wholesome lives as adults. A sordid past is a reason, but it is never an excuse for future behavior.

If Michael Jackson were still alive, he'd be enjoying this publicity. Perhaps somewhere, somehow, he is tearfully whispering into a microphone in his faux falsetto that he is ever so grateful for his fans, but why can't everyone just leave him alone? It's not like he's ever done anything to deserve all this! Oh, and by the way, that's "King of Pop". Yes, Pop. Capital P.

My Crackberry

Want to hear something really smart that I just did?

Yeah, me too. Too bad I can't come up with anything.

I am a Metro PCS customer. Overall, it's a great, cheap service and I enjoy using it. They don't drop calls nearly as much as they used to, and if you call customer service and pretend that you want to buy something, you can actually speak to a live person and not an overly cheerful pre-recorded message which answers precisely none of your questions.

So, Metro PCS is about as helpful as your average cellphone provider.

However, they recently added Blackberrys to their line of phones. The way Metro PCS works, you have to buy the phone outright because their service is so cheap, this is the only way they make significant profit. And the new Metro PCS Blackberrys were exhorbitantly expensive about a month ago: $550. I see the price has now dropped to $400.

So, I figured I'd beat the system. I'd go on Craig's List, find one of these that is being sold cheaply, and have it "flashed" to Metro PCS. So, I bought a Blackberry Curve from a local college student for $200, and took it to the nearest Metro PCS store.

But Metro PCS was already ahead of me, here. They had figured that their customers might pull something like this, and it would greatly ding their profit margin. So, they outright refuse to "flash" such a phone over to their service.

Well, they don't exactly outright refuse. Instead, they tell you that they can do it, but you won't have any of the original features from the Blackberry and they can't provide them. In other words, your Blackberry suddenly becomes a generation zero cell phone and you might as well be walking around with a phone that looks like this:

So since the official Metro PCS store won't do it properly, one of the clerks slipped me a card for a guy who will do it. Apparently this is a very shady transaction, as they can lose their license to do business with Metro PCS if they go ahead and do it the right way, instead of the wrong way that Metro PCS wants.

Since then, I've been to a couple of these shady cell phone operators. The first two shook their heads after a while and pronounced it next-to-impossible to do. Each successive company looks a little shadier.

The most recent one had a group of gang members sitting around in the lobby, joking about Michael Jackson.

"Fudge packer," one pronounced, which brought a fit of giggles out in each of them.

"Fudge packer," another one agreed, shaking his head. More giggles ensued.

By the end of it, I'd head the word "Fudge packer" at least 20 times, and these simple souls were nearly on the floor due to the hilarity of it all.

I said nothing, as I had no idea if any of them was "packing" a weapon.

So, this particular shady operation has had my crackberry for three days now. I am still waiting to see if they're able to get it switched over to Metro PCS. If that doesn't work, I'm quite terrified as to where I'll be referred to next.

Of course this could all have been averted if Metro PCS was willing to make the whole transition a little easier. So, if I'm killed by the Fudge Packer Gang, I blame Metro PCS.

I'll try to text out my last words.

Police Sketches

The Gaffney SC serial killer was just shot and killed, supposedly putting an end to a killing spree that has been going on in a small town of only 13,000. The man identified as the serial killer is Patrick Burris.

However, the police sketch which had been released the day before looks absolutely nothing like Burris. Burris has a piggy nose, a round, flabby, oval face, and deep-set eyes. The sketch shows a man that looks more like Billy Bob Thornton (the actor).

The police claim that the gun recovered from Patrick Burris is the same gun which killed all of the victims. I am now old enough to know that police aren't always right, or honest, and I question the great discrepancy between the photo and the sketch of the killer.

Of course that isn't to say that Patrick Burris isn't the serial killer: He very well may be. But if he is, what does this say about the police sketch artist?

Why do we even bother with sketch artists? As Fox News reported, "Several studies have shown sketches are unreliable when it comes to identifying suspects, but many departments nationwide still use them." And we know that a sketch is only as good as the witness(es) who contributed to it.

Perhaps it's time for the South Carolina police to rethink their sketch artist. Maybe his or her salary would be better used toward something that will actually make a difference.

My Neurotic Dog

I've written about my neurotic dog, BoBo, before. He's really the Dustin Hoffman of the dog world.

Like most purebred poodles, he's exceedingly smart. Here is a classic pose for him. You can see that he's sure that with a little work he can crack the code to human speech and revolutionize the dog world forever.

Lately he's been out of control. In the last couple of weeks, he's peed on my gorgeous sofa, my bed (I had to throw out my mattress topper and buy a new one), and last night he peed on Sonosaur's bed pillow.

The moment I saw the latest pee attack (or should I say smelled?), I flipped out. "That's IT," I screeched. "I am taking his balls off tomorrow!"

I immediately researched different neutering clinics in the area, determined to be at their door first thing in the morning. However, my dad talked me out of it. "He might have a urinary tract infection, or diabetes," my dad suggested. "Take him to your vet's first."

So I did.

And BoBo's just fine. Well, physically he's fine. But the vet thinks he's experiencing separation anxiety since I'm gone more during the day than I used to be. So, the vet's put him on an anti-anxiety medication which may help in two weeks or more.

In the meantime, I'm going to be doing a lot of steam cleaning.

Thoughts for the Week

1. I am still getting amazing response to my articles on employment scammers. The one that really gets a rise out of people is the one about the Vanara Scam, which is apparently still going strong.

2. There is great surprise among some people that Michael Jackson isn't the biological father of his children. You're kidding, right? You actually think that MJ would have produced glowingly white kids? These people need to go back to remedial high school biology.

3. Mark Sanford is a goober. He got a free pass from his wife and most of the press the first time around, but now he calls another press conference to natter on about how he's slogging along trying to rebuild his marriage with his wife (good ol' whatsername) but his mistress is his true soulmate.

Barf.

How high school is this? Obviously the man is a few fruit loops short of a bowl and needs to step down from his post. Yesterday.

4. Cap and Trade. here is a great site with some wonderful links to cap and trade arguments.

What am I missing? Why are ultra right wingers frothing at the mouth over this?

Is it Possible to Exploit Michael Jackson's Death?

A recent headline in the Daily News self-righteously trumpets "Bloodsuckers positioning themselves to exploit Michael Jackson's tragic death".

And... what, exactly, is the Daily News doing?

I think it's truly silly to complain now about all the publicity surrounding this freak. After all, Jackson thrived on it for all of his life. Oh it's true that he, like many celebrities, dramatically complained about the adulation that he received. But with that adulation came money.

If, as the Bible says, the love of money is the root of all evil, it's pretty apparent that Jackson was willing to put up with some evil for the money that he adored. Jackson slung around money like a flower girl slings rose petals at a wedding.

If Jackson was truly a shy, retiring flower, he never would have dangled his youngest child out of the hotel window to show him off the the adoring crowds below. In the ultimate act of egotistical arrogance, he named his sons Prince Michael I and II. And as everyone knows, wearing masks in public will never draw attention. No, never.

Jackson was a male version of Madonna. Until his molestation trial, he had truly never met a piece of publicity he didn't like, despite what he claimed. If he had wanted to live a quiet life, he certainly could have. Excesses such as Neverland and his ongoing plastic surgeries and skin bleaching were bound to create talk, and he knew it. The trumpeted musical genius was hardly stupid.

Jackson became the Elephant Man he adulated. And just as we continue to refer to the Elephant Man today, we will also continue to refer to Michael Jackson as a symbol of an unpleasant yet talented freak. He will continue to be the three ring circus he was in life. Death will not stop the process, nor would he want it to.

Mark Sanford Gets Lucky

After reading the title of this post, you could arguably say that Sanford already "got lucky", which is why he's in such a pail of hot water.

But Sanford got even luckier: Both Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died yesterday. Talk about a twofer! The news was about nothing but celeb deaths, and Sanford's little pecadillo was swept under the rug.

For now.

Rabbit Trail Alert: You know what's odd? I googled Sanford's wife and she was not pretty. She's gaunt, and looks older than her years. Her complexion is pasty, her coloring poor. Then I googled Sandford's mistress, and I have to say the man didn't stray far - his mistress looks like a younger version of his wife.

OK, back to my original post. The rabbit has been coralled.*

In my opinion, Sanford's SNAFU needs to be covered more, while the celeb deaths need to be covered less. Sanford has or could potentially affect all of us through his politics, but what does it matter if Fawcett or Jackson are dead?

Fawcett is known for her red-hot swimsuit poster that lived in the rooms of young boys everywhere throughout the 70s. She was also known for her poor acting ability and her breathless role as Jill in Charlie's Angels.

Jackson was known for his singing talent and molestation of children.

Neither is a great loss as a human being, although there is no doubt that both contributed to American pop culture.

But I am concerned that we are getting so used to politicians being slimy that we may collectively sigh "Ah, well... What's next?"

If a man can cheat on his wife, it tells you what kind of man he is. I said it about Bill Clinton, and I'm saying it about Mark Sanford. When a man is willing to lie to and cheat on his wife, we can be sure that we'll fare no better if it's in his interest to do so.

Additionally, it appears that Sanford may have used taxpayer's funds to carry on his dalliances. If so, he needs to be brought up on criminal charges. Certainly he has a history of lying to everyone, so I wouldn't be surprised to discover this.

Sanford is stepping down from his role as chairman of the Republican Governors Association, but that's small potatoes. He needs to step down from his post as Governor of South Carolina, as well.

*This is actually not a hoax: Large rabbits like this are bred in Germany by Karl Szmolinsky. There have been email hoaxes about them, but they do indeed exist and are a specially developed breed that cannot live in the wild.

The Confrontation

Since I am now working part-time on my business and part-time for someone else, I am lucky enough to have the best of both worlds and for that I'm truly grateful. I'm exposed to two very different companies with situations that don't even come close to overlapping, and it's exciting.

When I'm not working for myself, I'm working for "Claire", who fired one of her two top people and hired me to replace them. It's not hard to compete with the former talent, as she literally did nothing for 5 months and got a salary of $8,000 a month to do it. The fact that I can work part time for Claire and do more should tell you something.

Claire had been considering firing the other top person who was equally useless, but she hadn't made up her mind quite yet.

Yesterday I was in the office, reviewing a proposal, when the other "talent" came storming in. "Doris" was furious, because Claire was no longer taking her calls as regularly as she'd like. Doris was way too important to be ignored (she told us) and she demanded to speak with Claire. Claire was out of the office, so I took Doris outside to discuss the issues with her.

Doris proceeded to unload on me, accusing Claire of being highly unprofessional. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black: Doris used language that would make a sailor blush.

"And you tell Claire," Doris screeched, "That while she's busy f-ing around with her new boy toy in that adulterous relationship, she is wasting time. Don't think I don't know! She is avoiding me and it's a load of sh-t!" As she said this, she turned and graphically hit her butt to demonstrate what sh-t meant. As if I couldn't figure that one out.

"I'll be sure to pass it on," I said cheerily, waving goodbye to her.

I happen to know that Claire's going through a divorce, and she doesn't have time for an adulterous relationship, but it's not Doris' business (obviously).

I passed the conversation on to Claire, who was understandably furious.

Doris got the confrontation she wanted, through email. And Doris scrambled backwards so fast you'd think the roof was caving in. Her denials were loud, and she protested that she couldn't understand what game *I* was playing.

Yeah, Claire bought it. Not.

So Doris finally pushed her luck too far and she was fired yesterday. As for me, I get to take up her workload also. Since she was doing nothing, it's not a heavy load.

I think I can handle it.

Lasik Eye Surgery AGAIN

Today I had another attempt at a correction of my botched Lasik surgery. I'm resting, and won't be posting until Monday.

Swine-Avian Flu

A recent title in the BBC News assures us that "Flu risk 'still low' after death."

At least the dead get some peace. *

But for the rest of us, Swine Flu remains a true threat. It was just officially declared a "pandemic" by the World Health Organization and there's no end in sight.

The CDC declares "WHO’s decision to raise the pandemic alert level to Phase 6 is a reflection of the spread of the virus, not the severity of illness caused by the virus." However, little is known about this flu, and no one has immunity to it since it's never cropped up before.

"Swine Flu" is really a misnomer and should be called Swine-Avian Flu, due to the fact that it shouldn't be confused with former swine flus. This one is a true mix, which makes it particularly nasty, apparently.

As a chronic asthmatic, I am very concerned. Right now, those of us with lung disease are cautioned to avoid large crowds and take the necessary precautions. But when you're in business, this is almost impossible. What am I supposed to do: Walk around with a face mask all day?

And what's a large crowd? A football game? A cocktail party?

I know that I'm one of the ones that could truly die due to this, but I feel hamstrung. Until it is recognized by everyone as a true threat, I am going to look like a paranoid freak if I respond in the way that they're recommending.

*Yes, yes, I know: The title does not accurately reflect the article's contents. Please don't pester me about that.

A Tax on Health Benefits?

I just heard a news interview with Sen. John McCain. Everyone was talking in shocked tones about how people may get taxed on their health benefits in order to bring in enough funds to start a national healthcare program.

At first, I was shocked: How could they do such a thing? But this was a knee-jerk reaction. Then I started thinking about it.

Say your income is $30,000 on the books, but your benefits add another $5,000. You're really making $35,000, right? So why should you get $5,000 tax-free when your neighbor might be paying taxes on his $35,000 income and having to get his own healthcare, which adds to the expenses he's incurring?

A tax on health benefits seems fair.

The Domain Game

I am now working two jobs: Running what's left of my own (very small) empire and working for a minority-owned business. "Claire", the woman who owns it, is just amazingly cool and doesn't like to micromanage anyone. That's great for me, as I thrive when I'm let loose.

Being a former website designer, I immediately asked why her main site is still parked with a GoDaddy sign on it. She told me that her website designer was still working on it. After several months.

Uh huh. This is what you get for a mere $4000 - $5000.

I called him for a status update and found out that he hadn't even started it yet. At that point, the owner agreed to letting me put up a site so that we can get this party started. So, I logged onto GoDaddy and asked Claire for the password.

She looked blankly at me.

The woman she had just fired that morning was the only one who had the passwords to all of Claire's domains.

So Claire called Miss Thang and asked for all her passwords. Miss Thang informed her that she felt that she was entitled to a big settlement check and once it cleared, she would let Claire have her information.

Oh no. I wasn't going to let it go down that way. So, I called GoDaddy.

One complication is that Miss Thang had originally signed up for the domains under her own name and paid for them with her own credit card. Even though Claire had reimbursed her (and had the documentation to show it), GoDaddy was now in an awkward position.

We ended up compromising.

I sent in reams and reams of documentation proving domain ownership, and even then it will take a couple of business days to reassign the domains to Claire's corporation. And Claire had reimbursed Miss Thang an additional $500 for some additional GoDaddy services that couldn't transfer, so Claire will have to pay for them again.

But, we know that we will soon be in posession of those domains, and it allows us to tell Miss Thang to kiss off.

I also told Claire to put together a bill to Miss Thang for reimbursement of this loss. When Miss Thang pays Claire, Claire can in turn pay Miss Thang for any services that remain unpaid.

Claire=1
Miss Thang=0

For now.

And the moral of the story?

Don't reimburse anyone for something you may have to prove ownership of later. It's OK to allow employees to be reimbursed for meals or mileage, but all major purchases need to be paid directly by the corporation itself.

Cell Phones & Blogger

I know that Blogger has a feature that allows you to blog via your cellphone. How practical is this? Has anyone used it? I'm wondering if my posts would start looking like my texts:

Obamas l8est push 4ward in health insurnce seems 2 b a mistake. Altho i would like 2 c universal health care, i dont think it should be mandatory.

Ewww.

Anyway, I'm considering buying a BlackBerry Curve 8330. I've grown tired of the difficulty I have texting from my regular phone, and now that I have two jobs I'm responsible for, I need to have instant internet/email access anywhere at anytime.

Who has a BlackBerry out there? Has it been a rewarding experience? And furthermore, how durable are they? This is an investment that I don't lightly make. And I know that if I have a BlackBerry, I will actually be able to advance in my texting abilities. That is a huge plus for me, as it will save me from sounding like an idiot.

Wedding Pottery

Here's the pottery I made for my brother and his wife. They were just married a couple of weeks ago. They're actually handpainted with their names, but I am eliminating their names to protect the innocent. The pictures really don't do them justice - they are much nicer looking in person:

What I've (Re)Learned This Week

1. Summer = Sunburn.

I was out of commission on Wednesday (when I usually post) due to a severe sunburn. I hadn't realized how much my eye surgeries had kept me isolated and I hadn't been in the sun that much over the last couple of months.

I learned my lesson and can strongly recommend some stuff we always call "Blue Goo". It's a hard-to-find product by South Beach Sun but it's the most effective treatment I've found. It really helps diminish peeling.

2. Dogs Like Trash.

No matter how civilized you think your dogs are, they are waiting for an opportunity to root through your trash like mangy dingoes.

After we had a nice dinner of a chef's salad and boiled artichokes last night, I threw the shrapnel from the artichokes in the trash. I never in a million years thought my dogs would revel in discarded artichoke leaves and I came across them, looking guilty, with the trash on the floor and artichoke leaves hanging from their mouths.

Everyone went into lockdown and I became the Prison Warden.

3. Teenagers Love Sleep.

Waking up my kid is like trying to raise the dead. This is the kid that used to be up at the crack of dawn, peeling back my eyelids and staring into my pupils for any sign of life. I never thought I'd miss those years, but I am now chained to a Sasquatch that I cannot roust out of bed.

4. When You Stop Looking, You Find It.

This is a horrifically annoying phenomenon. It applies to missing thoughts, keys, and important paperwork. You are at the mercy of the universe, and must either wait for magical intervention or the help of someone with a better attuned GPS system than your own.

I am one of those odd people that can never find anything when I'm looking for it. My dad is the same way. When we were children, Dad could open the refrigerator, stare at the gallon of milk on the shelf, and finally irritably call out to my Mom "Hon? I think we're out of milk!"

I take after my father.

I'm Back!

Thanks for your patience (to those of you who are still bothering to check in on me!)

The last eye surgery was successful to a certain extent, though my other eye is now having complications. I would never recommend continual lasik eye corrections now that I know what I know.

I've also had various situations happen with friends and family which absorbed me to a great deal. I won't go into the details now, but perhaps I will some day.

Here are some wonderful recent discoveries I'd like to share with you:

1. The novel Creepers by David Morrell, author of First Blood (the book that launched Rambo). I've been an urban explorer (a.k.a. Creeper) for many years, and the beginning is true to the usual experience. Happily I've never experienced the remainder of the novel but it's a great action/adventure story.

2. The completely campy zombie movie Undead or Alive, which is great for the times you don't want to think but want something with a little more kick than the Hallmark Channel.

3. Pottery painting is FUN! It's not just a girly-girly thing to do (though most of the people are women).

My brother got married last week and I was able to make some personalized things for them such as mugs, goblets, a pasta bowl and a platter. They have really weird names (like Ermintrude and Horace), so it's not like you could walk into a store and find their names on anything. Yeah, my parents were a little creative with our names. Ah well, it could have been worse... I could be a Shaniqua.

4. Here's a catchy new song out by Michael Franti - the guy who wrote and sung the Obama campaign song. See if it gets your toes tapping like it does for me!

Another Eye Surgery

I went through another eye surgery on Thursday of last week. My eyesight is improving slowly. Hopefully I'll be back to blogging by the end of the week. Thanks for your continued patience!

My Eyesight

Due to botched Lasik surgery (thanks to Lasik Plus), my eyesight continues to be such a problem that my life remains on hold.

I am having trouble functioning in everyday life. One eye can't really see at all, the other one varies and any reading or looking at something in my hands must be done with reading glasses.

I will know more on Thursday, but due to this, my blog continues to be on hiatus. I truly apologize.

Kids Stuff I Hate

OK, my eyes are no better and I'm getting really FRUSTRATED. I mean, I'm typing with READING GLASSES like a GRANDMA for heaven's sake!!! And even then, only one eye CAN SEE!!!

OK, enough about my eyes and overuse of (exclamation points!!!) and WILD CAPITALIZATION.

So...

Today I go to the mall with my best bud, Pov Moo, who works nights and has the luxury of wandering fruitlessly on shopping expeditions with me.

We walk into the mall and I see this sign, and I have to say it says it all:


Yup. The Kidgits Club: Where kids are idgits. With a "K".

And speaking of idgits, who came up with THIS bright Happy Meal toy?

This is to promote the new Star Trek movie: The First Generation for the Next-to-Last Time (Sequel To Be Announced).

What's really odd here is that this comes from a mold, no details added except for a button on top that when you press it, a voice erupts from the inside that says something rather garbled. Over and over again.

Well, the voice only repeats when kids press the button repeatedly or you accidentally set your wallet on it. Anyway, after repeated plays, I think it says "A Parching Topsoil."

This leads me to believe it's another environmentally correct movie targeted at kids. Either that, or they need a new toy manufacturer.

Finally, who thought up THIS?


Note the fat, dumb looking fairy hovering around in the left hand corner. Yeah, I know that the majority of America is now ranging from fat to obese. I guess Disney wants to go for its target market.

But I'm just hoping they don't subject us to a new interpretation of Prince Charming. I'm happy with my old fantasies, thank you.