Crazy Ozma

As most of you know, Ozma is one of my closest friends and is a Latina. Actually, she is 100% legal Mexican, raised in America. The following story is a story which she has relayed to me, and given me permission to publish. I take no responsibility for it, true or false, but I found it entertaining enough to publish here:

Ozma has a reputation for being feisty (because she is) but she rarely shows her teeth unless she's severely aggravated, and it takes a lot to get her there. When she was young, and less self- controlled (as we all were) she was famous for her temper. By the age of 20 she found herself married with a 1 and 2 year-old clinging to her skirts.

She had known that one of her husband's sisters was cheating on her husband, and Ozma despised her for it. She made a comment about this infidelity to the family, and when the sister-in-law heard of it, she (let's call her Sandy) decided to go take Ozma on. Sandy let her father know what she was doing. Dad went along, hoping to mediate the confrontation.

Ozma was in the kitchen of the farmhouse, slicing up vegetables for a stew. When the car drove up, she saw who it was and immediately realised why Sandy was there. And Sandy was hopping mad.

Forgetting that she still had the cleaver in her hand, Ozma went outside to greet Sandy and her dad. Sandy started in, ranting and raving, and Ozma yelled right back at her, unconsciously brandishing the cleaver. Meanwhile, Dad had decided that Ozma was going to use that cleaver on the both of them ("you know these Latinas!") and he was nervously yanking on Sandy's arm and trying to tell her to step back; they were in danger!

Suddenly realizing what he was saying, and remembering that she still held the cleaver, Ozma was struck by how ludicrous the whole situation was, and she started laughing. Both Sandy and Dad turned even whiter than white, because now they knew she was insane! So as Ozma kept laughing, they fell all over themselves to beat a hasty retreat, scrambled into the car, and drove away in a cloud of dust.

To this day, Sandy will have nothing to do Ozma's children (they have the taint of the Latina in them!) which Ozma considers to be a good thing. As for the rest of the family, they keep their distance from the crazy chica.