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Monday, July 31, 2006

Movies: Lady in the Water, Miami Vice, Monster House

I saw Lady in the Water last week. I agree with a fellow blogger who wrote that it was a marvellous movie, geared toward intellectuals and dreamers more than the common crowd, and I am still wondering how so many movie critics panned it. Perhaps it simply wasn't sexy enough for them.

I saw Miami Vice over the weekend. Apparently others did too, since it took in $25.2 million. It sucked.

As the movie opened, the first thing I thought was "Wow! Hollywood's trying to bring back white trash hair!" Colin Farrell, who plays Sonny, was sporting the same 'do we see in trailer parks across the nation: down to the shoulders, slicked back into a gooey, spackled mess with hair gel. He also has grown out a mustache worthy of any white supremacist. Could someone else have pulled this look off? Maybe... But Colin Farrell sure couldn't!

Eventually he was placed with an unbelievable love interest. There was no chemistry between the characters, and her sudden transformation from ruthless business woman to a bashful sex kitten is simply silly.

I think there is more time devoted to boring sex scenes between the different characters than there is time devoted to the plot. Sure, sex is great! Sex sells! So then do something worthy of 9 1/2 Weeks! I was yawning in my popcorn.

The plot is also the basic drug plot. For me, that is the most boring theme anyone could work with. It's worse than mafia plotlines! Well, no, it couldn't be worse. But it sure wasn't good! The guy I was with wanted to see it for the fantastic cars. Those lasted for the first 5 minutes, and after that, nothing else impressive rolled across the screen.

Miami Vice is hardly memorable. If you want to go see a great movie, and you don't want to try Lady in the Water, go see Monster House. It's not just for kids, and you'll lose yourself in the movie. For some of us, that's the only reason we go.

24 comments:

Reverberate58 said...

Joshua is still wanting to see Lady In The Lake. He is going through no friends here in GA issues!! I tell him he has to leave the house!!

As for the Miami Vice movie, I did not see how they thought Colin Farrell was going to stack up to Don Johnson from the beginning. Why dig into the past to make a movie? I had no plans to see this one and it sounds like I planned right!

Some Random Girl said...

as far as Colin's hair...he's undercover and you have to grow your hair crazy for undercover....one of our best friends was an undercover drug agent. you have to look scummy. damn. I thought that movie looked really good. I love M. Night Shamalamadindong. I plan on seeing lady in the water.

Saur♥Kraut said...

SRG, I have a friend who's an undercover narc cop & he's done both looks. It's not really mandatory.

Reverb, he'll love Lady in the Water!

Ed Abbey said...

I've got Lady In the Water on my Netflix list. Can't wait to see it because it sounds like it is right up my movie alley.

I have no desire to see Miami Vice.

I did see Syriana this week but it disappointed me. It was an alright movie but I've been waiting to see it for so long that I built it up in my mind into something much better. I probably would have enjoyed it more if it hasn't taken so long to figure out who everyone was.

~Deb said...

If the blazers with the rolled up arms come back in---I'll just die. Please tell me you kinda knew Miami Vice was gonna suck? There are some time pieces you just don't want to venture back to, you know? ;)

mckay said...

Monster House: i loved it. my 4 year old loved it.

Lady in H20: i really want to see it, ever since the first trailer last year. Paul G is a fantastic actor.

Lake House: i liked this one a lot. it's a total chick flick and gave me the opportunity to sob out my water retention.

Fred said...

Thanks for the heads up on Miami Vice. We lived in Miami while the series was on TV and always had parties whenever the show was on. I didn't think they could come close to the original.

If I see it at all, I'll wait for the DVD.

Christine said...

Best movies...

"Imitation of Life"
Starring Lana Turner


"Children's Hour"
Original Play...Lillian Hellman.
I believe Shirley McLaine is in the movie.

Both old movies and will be in black and white.

Saur♥Kraut said...

Chris, Other bests: Babette's Feast, The Princess Bride, Sense & Sensibility (I always cry happy tears at the ending), Pride & Prejudice (the latest 2 versions are superb), Emma, Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, anything with Sean Connery... If I see The Children's Hour, I'll cry. I hate sad endings. They're banned.

Fred, the characters simply don't seem to have the style of the original characters. You know?

McKay, wasn't Monster House great??? I was going to see The Lake House (at Zen Buddhist's urging) but maybe not...

Deb, truthfully, I suspected it would suck. Terribly. I was conned into going. :P

Ed, I was wondering what Syriana was like! Thanks.

Nihilistic said...

Miami Vice didn't look good to me...I didn't even like the TV series.

Ted said...

m.night is really good at what he does. I have never been let down by his stuff. Unless he starts doing remakes of TV series.

R2K said...

Based on your advice I will see lady in the H2O, but I will probably skip MV as planned.

I dont want to yawn in my popcorn: it tends to get my face all popcorny, and I dont pay 5 bucks for a tub of something that costs 5 cents anyway. Something about buying air and corn that makes me feel like a real sucker. Maybe it is because corn is so dirt cheap that the government has to pay farmers to burn it to inflate the price : )

Reel Fanatic said...

you're right that Colin Farrell just looked ridiculous, but I mostly liked Miami Vice ... it was basically a two-hour TV show, but I found it entertaining enough and very visually appealing

Ellen said...

I just rented (and watched) "Capote", and am still waiting to pop in "Why We Fight", a documentary about American aggressiveness.

I haven't been to the movies in years, even though my son works in a theatre where I can get in free. Just no time available.
(And if you knew what was in the popcorn, you'd stick to the candybars.... upon my sons advise.)

Holly said...

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Senor Caiman said...

Saur,

Excellent post.

I still have my pastel blazers. Sorry to hear it wasn't worth the money.

I only go to comedies. I truly love to laugh even when I'm the only one laughing.

mckay said...

heh, heh... pastel blazers. that whole look reminds me of college flashbacks with certain young actor buddies trying to look so cool. that and the "Friends" flashback episodes.

Uggie said...

I'm so glad to hear the good reviews for Monster House. I've been wanting to see it since I saw the trailer at the beginning of Over the Hedge (which was awful, btw)!

The Lazy Iguana said...

Saur:

1. Miami Vice was an 80s cop TV show. The "in" hair style back then? The mullet! Enough with this subject.

2. Miami in the 80s = DRUGS. Tons and tons of drugs. And drug dealers that look like that Juan Valdez coffee guy only a fancy sports car (no el burro), slicked back hair (WAY too much dippity-doo), and white suits with pointy collars.

Sounds like the plot of the movie is true to the original show!

Lee Ann said...

I saw Lady in the Water over the weekend. It was better than I thought it would be.

ts said...

aw, man. gong li (the cuban-chinese love interest) always gets crappy parts in hollywood films! she's my favorite chinese actress, and is quite lovely in films like "to live" and "farewell my concubine" but her hollywood misadventures have been ... well ...

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

I agree with you about Lady in the Water. It was more like an independant film. We saw it last weekend and both liked it. I think more will not care for it though because it isn`t Hollywood mainstream. A thoughtful film that needs looking under the layers to enjoy.

mal said...

the OH wanted to go see Miami Vice and we did....it sucked...we left 40 minutes in and hopped over to see "Cars" again. Big improvement

Mr. Fabulous said...

THANK YOU! Mrs. Fab and I almost didn't go to see Lady in the Lake because of the horrid reviews, but we are big fans of Shamalyn and so we took the leap of faith. It was a delightful movie!

Critics...bah!