Sexual Harassment at Tastee Twistee

I was reading about this topic in Deb's blog recently. I have experienced more than my share in the workplace, but I've never chosen to prosecute. (Life is short, time is sweet, and besides - there's no real money in it. Hey! I'm noble, but I'm not so noble that I have to clear the way for all my sisters out there. You're on your own. I'll support whatever you do, including kneecapping the jerk.)

I have a couple great stories, including the time that I was the only female executive in a male dominated company and still was expected to perform secretarial duties. Who knew that if you had a vagina you got to take phone messages and do light typing?

Anyway, this story happened when I was about 20 years old. Yeah, it was that long ago. :P

I was a perfume model for a large department store. This means that I had to look pretty and walk around extolling the virtues of whatever Cologne Of The Day we were promoting. I was at the front of the store when an entourage came strolling in.

The obvious leader of the entourage stopped when he saw me. I mean stopped, cold. The others grouped about him. He stared at me appraisingly and spoke in Spanish to a woman who translated for him. "He says that you may be exactly what he is looking for to promote his product," said the woman to me.

I won't name the product directly, but it was new to our market. It was a type of iced dessert. Let's call it Tastee Twistee. It turned out that he wanted a spokesmodel to show up at local events, and help promote Tastee Twistee. He offered to pay me twice what I was making as a perfume model and that's all it took for me to make up my mind. Sold!

I went on a couple gigs with different employees at first. But one day the owner did a gig with me, which was unusual. However, he was active in his business and friendly with everyone, so I didn't really think twice about it. We didn't communicate much, because his English was terrible and I knew very little Spanish. But for the most part, we were able to talk about the basics.

After the gig, as we were going home, he suggested that he take me out to dinner. It was late, I was starved, and (being naive) I thought he was an exceptionally nice boss to take me to Olive Garden.

Halfway through the meal, the conversation began to take an interesting turn. He asked if I liked clothing and jewelry. Well of course I do! What girl doesn't? Let's face it, guys. You may pretend otherwise, but you wish you could adorn yourselves like we do. Admit it! That's why rap stars are so busy throwing on the bling! They've got Vagina Envy, as Freud might say. If he was really drunk, that is.

So I said yes, and we began talking about what types of jewels were on my wish list. Then he began telling me about the country he was from, where jewelry was inexpensive and emeralds were readily available. From my perspective, we're talking about "a land flowing with milk and honey", so to speak.

He also brought up the proposal that I could start "tutoring" him in English. Not really, I said! I don't know Spanish! He argued that it wasn't necessary to know Spanish, which I found to be very odd. I recommended that he learn from the employee who was his translator during the day.

That's when he began talking expansively about how most men from his country keep mistresses, and that he could provide me lavishly with clothes and jewelry and a wonderful place to live.

I was married at the time, and I suggested slyly that it might be difficult for my husband to buy into the arrangement. I also indicated (very politely, since I didn't have another ride home and I didn't want to create a scene) that I was ready to go home.

As he dropped me off that night, he said "Goot bye, dahling! I luff you!" as I sprinted for my apartment where my husband patiently waited.

The next day I called his "translator" and told her of the incident. "I find that hard to believe," she said firmly.

"Well," I replied tartly, "I'm sorry that he hasn't approached you yet. Perhaps you're not his type. However, I assure you that it happened. I will not be returning to work."