Now, before you panic, let me say again that I am strong, there is no trust left, there is no chance of his moving back in with me, or of my helping him financially. However, I also had 6 years with this man, and I know him well. In the past, he's been my best friend. I don't throw people away. I do what I have to do to stay sane, however. That means that I do keep him at a necessary distance.
Anyway, my ex has a marvellous marketing background. He's engaging and winsome. Yup! All the makings of a great con artist (which he is). In his program, he mixes with people from all walks of life: doctors, lawyers, or derelicts. When they come to this place, they've all hit rock bottom.
One of the men in the program is a panhandler. He would stand at street corners with a handmade sign begging for money, saying he was out of work. One day he asked my ex what he was doing wrong. My ex said "If you want to really make some money, you need to change a few things. First, get rid of the fake leg brace and get something smaller. Clean yourself up a little bit, and use a razor. Just make sure that you scrape the razor up a bit so that you don't look entirely clean shaven. Most importantly, get a new sign and write "Need money for booze".
The panhandler did exactly as he was told. The next day he made three times what he normally made in a day.
See? It always pays to hire a marketing consultant.
12 comments:
Awhile ago, I saw one of the Dateline investigations on television of panhandlers. They videotaped several in LA walking around a corner at the end of the day and hopping in their Mercedes to drive home to their nice house. Evidentily in places, there is alot of money in panhandling.
I would give this cat a dollar.
js
We had a panhandler that used to hang out with a sign that said: Need money for beer, why lie?
Honesty does pay well in some circles.
dang. maybe i should make a sign:
"need money for kids' college funds"
(will it work better if i don't shave my legs for a day or so?)
Your ex is definitely a good con man. Be careful!
Saur,
Very funny.
I keep a big picture sombrero in my office. I never put it on though because I don't want to mess up my hair.
If the Dude were to come to my church we'd probably buy him a house and car.
Stranger than fiction
Know your customers. It pays to study psychographics!
We sure are easy to manipulate aren't we?
Near where I work there is a begger who is smart, shaven and has a sign saying: "Not on drugs, homeless, please help" and sits there reading clever books.
He makes a mint.
Lol did the Ex get a cut of the money?
Hello from Seattle.
I knew a panhandler in El Paso that would catch businessmen as they were walking incredibly fast to their very important desinations and say, "Excuse me sir, but do you have ten dollars so I can buy some beer? Please?" They'd invariably give him whatever pocket change they had and he made $75.00 a day.
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